Real Missy Relies on Food to Counterattack Chapter 44
Translated by Serena Love
Edited by Azure
Chapter 44: Turtle Soup in Bamboo Tube
The clear stream was gurgling in the mountains, and lush trees surrounded them on both sides.
Under the beauty of this deep mountain, Tang Qiaoqiao, Wei Yiqi, and Xu Yuyi lit a fire on the open space by the creek and skewered fish.
It was just that when Tang Qiaoqiao took out a stainless steel seasoning jar from the pouch on her waist in a leisurely manner, the other two guests and the cameraman who followed them were stunned.
Especially Xu Yuyi's eyes that were about to pop out. His expression instantly pleased the netizens in the live broadcast room.
【Master Xu suspects that his eyes may be wrong at the moment LOLLLLLL】
【Hahahaha. The precious thing hanging on Tang Qiaoqiao's waist was actually just a spice jar!!!!!】
【As expected of foodie Tang Qiaoqiao. Even in the deep mountains, the most important thing is to eat and drink well】
【Qiao Bao always plays her cards contrary to common sense. She is seriously funny】
【Please bear with her. My idol's style is like this (covering the face)】
【Actually, as expected from Tang Qiaoqiao. She can't do without eating wherever she goes】
【This is a wilderness survival show, not playing house. Tang Qiaoqiao only brought a condiment jar?? It's too trivial. If she had to do the task alone, she might have to cheat her teammates. Seasoning farts.】
Xu Yuyi also asked this question on the spot. "You just brought this thing to survive in the wild. If you didn't team with us, you wouldn't even be able to make a fire? At least bring a necessary item."
"Is it difficult to make a fire?" Tang Qiaoqiao asked.
Then, she found a small dry wooden stick and put some fluffy dry withered grass under the stick. Next, she found a thinner stick and aligned it vertically with a small hole she cut out on the stick. Then she started rubbing the small stick with her hands. Her speed was so fast that the others only see an afterimage.
In a short while, white smoke appeared on the wooden stick, and a few sparks popped up from time to time. As some sparks fell on the withered grass below the stick, a flame strung up all of a sudden.
Xu Yuyi was completely convinced this time. "I will call you father from now on."
Tang Qiaoqiao: "Thank you, but I'm too young to give birth to a son like you."
Xu Yuyi touched his face and said, "How can you do everything? I have never met a girl like you before."
Tang Qiaoqiao was expressionless and replied to him, "Every girl is unique. Of course, you haven't seen someone like me before. You didn't know me."
【Hahahaha, Xu Yuyi failed to tease. Tang Qiaoqiao's is the real daughter of steel】
【I took back what I said about Tang Qiaoqiao just now about how she would cheat her teammates. She will just top them all】
【I understand. Others go to the wild to survive, but Tang Qiaoqiao goes to the wild for food broadcast】
Then, Wei Yiqi and Xu Yuyi were grilling fish in their hands, and Tang Qiaoqiao was also not idle. She picked three relatively thick bamboo tubes which are intact on both sides. Then she hollowed out the middle, kept the cut piece as a lid, and placed it in the middle of the two stones. She lit fire below the two stones, so the bamboo tubes could act as small temporary pots.
Tang Qiaoqiao's whole set of actions when handling the bamboo tube was so smooth and easy. Although Xu Yuyi brought that machete, he didn't actually think carefully about its use.
But when the machete got into her hand, it simply played out its role.
In front of Tang Qiaoqiao, he and Wei Yiqi are simply kindergarten children. The kind who just entered others.
Tang Qiaoqiao sliced and washed the plump turtle, cut it into pieces, and slightly heated the bamboo tubes.
She took out her magic seasoning jar, turned the dial at the bottom, and poured a little oil into each bamboo tube.
Xu Yuyi was shocked again. "Fuck, even oil?"
After the oil was hot, Tang Qiaoqiao squeezed a little garlic into each bamboo tube.
Xu Yuyi: "Your mom, you even have garlic?"
Tang Qiaoqiao ignored his surprise and used the newly-made wooden chopsticks to turn the garlic around. After the fragrance came out, she divided the turtle into three parts in each bamboo tubes and simply fried it. Next, she poured the cut bamboo fungus and bamboo shoots into the bamboo tubes, added water, sprinkled some soy sauce, salt, and pepper, closed the lid, and let it simmer.
Xu Yuyi is about to die of curiosity. How is this a seasoning jar? It was almost catching up with Doraemon's pocket.
"How many things are in your seasoning jar? Did you bring the entire kitchen seasoning?"
Tang Qiaoqiao was very modest. "Not so exaggerated."
"Where did you buy it, did you import it? It's so amazing. Why have I never seen it before?" In Xu Yuyi's eyes, the stainless steel jar in Tang Qiaoqiao's hands was almost becoming a high-tech product.
Wei Yiqi also pricked his ears high and listened. He was prepared to go back and get himself one.
Tang Qiaoqiao: "From the Yiwu Market. It only costs 9 yuan on certain evenings. If you can't buy it at a loss, don't buy it."
Xu Yuyi: ???
【It turns out that Tang Qiaoqiao also haggles. Hahaha, it's too grounded】
【Import what you want, maybe all the imports we buy are sold in Yiwu Market. Proud face】
This seasoning jar had opened a new world of online shopping for the rich young master and big star, Xu Yuyi.
The wild carp had been roasted to the point of simmering. The fish skin had slightly curled up, revealing the white and tender flesh of the fish inside, with a scorched fragrance permeating the air.
When Tang Qiaoqiao watched the heat, she lightly sprinkled a little chili powder and cumin on the grilled fish. It instantly infused the grilled fish with soul. The richness of the fragrance increased exponentially, which made the hearts of the few people present beat wildly.
Spice was really one of the greatest inventions in human history. The outer skin of the carp was roasted until crisp, but the skin inside was extremely tender—especially the innermost abdominal cavity which still carried some natural fish soup. The salt fully stimulated the tenderness and juiciness of the fish. The scent spun and jumped on the tip of the tongue and was accompanied by the spicy aroma of chili powder and cumin, which was simply unstoppable.
Tang Qiaoqiao also asked the cameraman to sit down and eat together. The cameraman was exhausted after following them for a long time. Although he brought his own dry food, how could it compare to the fragrant fresh grilled fish? So they were eating delicious grilled fish while the cameraman was holding the camera.
"It's so delicious. It's so delicious that I want to cry." Xu Yuyi ate such primitive grilled fish for the first time. He only wanted to fill his stomach, but he didn't expect the fish to be crispy on the outside and tender on the inside. The taste was fresh and spicy. He couldn’t stop eating at all.
The bamboo turtle soup was also simmered to perfection. These high-end ingredients actually only need the simplest cooking methods.
The turtle itself was a very nourishing ingredient, and bamboo fungus had always been used to enhance flavors. It did not require any complicated cooking or too much seasoning. It was just a simple stew that had all the umami taste of the ingredients melted into the soup.
The soft-shelled turtle had a firm texture and a smooth taste. The most delicious part was the skirt, which is extremely plump. If you slurped it, all the meat would reach your mouth, leaving only the hard turtle shell.
The texture of bamboo fungus was crispy. The fresh bamboo shoots were refreshing and sweet. The flavors of the food itself were enough to be intoxicating.
Several people had a great time eating, and in the end, even the soup was licked clean.
Xu Yuyi still feels that it was not enough. "Not enough to eat, but unfortunately, we only caught one soft-shelled turtle."
Wei Yiqi poked around the fire and said, "If Brother Yuyi hasn't eaten enough, eat this."
He buried the wild chestnuts in the fire below the grilled fish. Tang Qiaoqiao had poked a small hole in each chestnut. If you did not open a hole, roasting chestnuts at high temperatures would cause the moisture inside the chestnuts to accumulate steam. It would expand and may explode.
When they ate the grilled fish and turtle soup, the chestnuts were also ready.
After roasting, the chestnut's hole became bigger, and the outer layer could be peeled off easily, revealing the golden yellow flesh, which was sweet and soft.
The chestnuts that had just been roasted were a bit hot, but the wonderful taste made Xu Yuyi scream while being scalded. At the same time, he stretched out his hand to grab more.
Tang Qiaoqiao patted the ashes on the peeled chestnuts in her hands and reminded him, "Don't eat too much. If you eat too much, you will get thirsty."
"Uuuuu, I know." Xu Yuyi nodded and agreed quickly, still stuffing chestnuts in his mouth.
【This is not survival in the wild. This is obviously the wild trip on the tip of the tongue】
【I'm greedy. I'm really greedy. Don't tempt me, Tang Qiaoqiao. I really want to lose weight】
【Anything that arrives at Qiao Bao's hands can be turned into delicious food】
【Tang Qiaoqiao's hands-on skills are too strong. I feel that given enough time, she can build a small bamboo house】
...
After several people ate and drank enough, Tang Qiaoqiao did not want to "set fire to the mountain," or "causing human tragedy", so they used the water from the stream to extinguish the fire.
Tang Qiaoqiao looked at the sky. "We must quickly find a supply point. Otherwise, we will have the sky as a cover and the ground as a shelter."
At this time, Guo Bao, Zhang Yang, and Wang Xing'er group also found a stream.
The three of them walked until they were exhausted and fell into the mud, which made them unkempt. Especially Wang Xing'er. The dirty and smelly mud had dried up and stuck to her skin. Who knows if it was in her head, but Wang Xing'er felt itchy all over her body.
When she finally saw water, she wanted to cry. The first thing she thought of was not drinking water, but rushing to clean the mud from her body.
As soon as she reached her hand towards the stream, Guo Bao said coldly behind her, "You'd better go to the downstream to wash. We have to drink it upstream."
Wang Xing'er looked unhappy but thought that she had to drink the water from this stream too. She endured it and carried her shoes downstream.
Guo Bao surveyed around the stream, looking for something that could be used as a container. However, the area was really off the beaten track. He only found a plump banana leaf.
He has no choice but to take off a few thick banana leaves, which could be folded into a simple water container for use.
When he returned with banana leaves, Zhang Yang tried to catch a fish while Wang Xing'er was still sitting on the spot soaking her feet.
Guo Bao put the banana leaves on the ground and said in a bad mood, "It is best not to soak in this kind of stream for too long. There may be some bugs in it."
Wang Xing'er did not want to move from the cold water of the stream. She only glanced at it and said, "No, the water here is quite clean."
Guo Bao was speechless.
【Wang Xing'er can't understand human words, can she? Brother Bao told you not to be too lazy and get up to work】
【She is really a wooden head. Looking at her made me so angry】
Guo Bao patiently endured and went to find dry wood to start a fire.
The fish in the river looked close in front of them, but it was really hard to catch. After fluttering for a long time, they still catch nothing.
Wang Xing'er cleaned the mud from her body and finally felt better. Her mood improved, so she sat on the river bank and pointed out like a princess.
"Oh, there is one on the left, but you went to the right."
"Oh, almost."
Zhang Yang was a little irritated because he couldn't catch the fish and couldn't find the direction she pointed.
"You are too loud. You scare away the fish."
Wang Xing'er muttered to herself, "I'm kindly helping, but you do not appreciate it. Not knowing what's good or bad."
When she had soaked enough and got up ashore, as soon as she lifted her foot, she saw a soft worm the size of a little finger attached to her calf.
"Ah!"
Wang Xing'er trembled and screamed in shock. The screams were so terrible that it suddenly startled a swarm of birds in the forest.
Zhang Yang hurried over and asked, "What's the matter?"
Wang Xing'er hurriedly said in tears with trembling hands, "Leech, there is a leech on my leg, help me."
"Hurry up. Get rid of it for me."
"It's drilling inside."
Zhang Yang looked at the squirming leech and felt his hair tingling. He reached out and tried to pick it up for her, but Guo Bao stopped him in time.
"Don't move. If you take it off by force, the leech's mouthparts may still remain in the wound, which will be more troublesome then."
When Wang Xing'er heard it, her whole body trembled even more. "What should I do?"
Guo Bao: "Zhang Yang, you lightly pat near the leech. I will burn it with fire to force it to let go."
Wang Xing'er didn't dare to look at her calf at all. Now no matter what method they used, she just wanted them to get rid of the leech.
Guo Bao used a lighter to burn near the leech and kept slapping Wang Xinger's calf. This method really worked, and the leech was finally taken down.
Fortunately, it was discovered in time, and the wound was not deep. Among the three, only Guo Bao's clothes were clean. He tore off a piece of cloth from the shirt he was wearing and simply bandaged her wound.
Wang Xing'er hadn't been relieved from the fright, still sobbing and crying. "The program does not consider the safety of the guests at all. How can they choose such a dangerous place and not provide medicines? What should I do if I am infected?"
Guo Bao kindly reminded her, "Before we came, we signed an agreement. All the possible dangerous scenarios were written in it."
【Wang Xing'er was not embarrassed to cry. Guo Bao reminded her not to stay in the water for too long because there will be bugs. She got leech because she has been sitting there soaking her feet.】
【At the moment the guests are participating in this show, the program team must have told them about the possible dangers. She signed the contract and received a large amount of compensation. What is she calling them now】
【Moreover, Wang Xing'er did it by herself. I didn't see her doing anything. She was just shouting all the time】
【Poor Guo Bao and Zhang Yang cleaned up the mess for her all the way. Until now, they haven't even drunk water】
Wang Xing'er cried for a long time by herself, and Guo Bao barely boiled a little water with banana leaves. Zhang Yang finally caught a fish, wrapped it in the remaining banana leaves, and cooked it briefly. It was not much when shared among the three.
Wang Xing'er thought that there were leeches in the water. Even if it was boiled, she didn't want to drink it. She barely ate a few bites of the boiled fish. There was no taste at all, and there was still a fishy smell.
Guo Bao and Zhang Yang were really hungry and didn't have the energy to bother about her. They ate the rest of the fish soup cleanly.
At this time, Tang Qiaoqiao's group finally found a supply point.
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