Real Missy Relies on Food to Counterattack Chapter 43
Translated by Serena Love
Edited by Azure
Chapter 43: Bamboo Shoots and Bamboo Fungus
The forest was dense. At that time, it was around two o'clock in the afternoon, but the sun could only shine through the gaps between the leaves.
Under the leadership of Tang Qiaoqiao, who was swinging a machete to cut through the thorns they passed, Wei Yiqi and Xu Yuyi followed behind her easily, unimpeded all the way.
Xu Yuyi touched the back of his head, then turned around and whispered to Wei Yiqi behind him, "I think this is very bad. We are two big men, but we let a woman open the way. It's not what a gentleman should do."
Wei Yiqi took a long branch, looked at Tang Qiaoqiao's energetic back, and smiled, "If you can do better than her, believe me, she will immediately return the machete to you and let you clear the way."
Tang Qiaoqiao actually didn't want to show off her strength at all, even though her cute and charming personality profile had collapsed. But if it was time for her to work hard, she would not take a step back.
Xu Yuyi watched Tang Qiaoqiao's strength with every slash and stopped talking. He suspected himself for the first time. Was he not even as good as a woman?
Tang Qiaoqiao cut more vigorously, after splitting the last bit of vines, the path in front of them finally opened up. They entered a relatively flat area. For the time being, no vines or dead branches were blocked the way.
【Master Xu's self-confidence and his young man's heart was hit for the first time】
【Master Xu doesn't need to be inferior. After all, King Kong Barbie Qiao's strength is not comparable to that of ordinary people】
【I feel like a king with two bronze hiahiahia...】
[T/N: This is a gaming reference. King rank would be the top rank or someone with the greatest skill, and next would be gold rank, silver rank and bronze rank would be the noobs.]
【Your mom. They walked here so unobstructed. Look at the other group, and you will know what bronze is.】
At this time, Wang Xing'er, Guo Bao, and Zhang Yang also faced the dilemma of wild vegetation blocking their way. As an Olympic champion, Zhang Yang took a dagger and volunteered to step forward. It's just that this was not a sports competition after all. Nature was so unreasonable that Zhang Yang was so exhausted before opening the road for half a meter.
When Guo Bao saw this, he said, "I can't let you do it alone. We will all take turns."
Wang Xing'er was dumbfounded. Although she didn't speak, her expression revealed, 'You want me to go too?'
Zhang Yang saw Wang Xing'er's soft and weak appearance. He took a deep breath and said, "Let her rest. We are men. Let's do more."
Guo Bao smiled, but he spoke very ruthlessly, "It's better to take turns. We have to conserve our strength. After all, there is still a long way to go."
Wang Xing'er looked reluctant. She held the insect repellent in her hand, watching the dense leaves very vigilantly for fear that some poisonous insects would suddenly fly out to them.
Guo Bao was fair. After cutting for a while, he immediately passed the dagger to Wang Xing'er.
Wang Xing'er held the dagger and didn't know how to start. Zhang Yang couldn't bear to see it and gave her a little guidance.
Finally, she stretched her forearm and carefully swung the dagger twice, only to cut off two leaves.
【My God, Wang Xing'er. Are you holding a dagger or chopsticks?】
【Is the vine poisonous? Standing so far with arms stretched so long, your wrists are definitely not working well. It's weird if she can cut them.】
Afterward, Wang Xing'er cut a dozen times, but the vines were barely moved. The back of her hand was cut, and her tears flew out immediately.
Wang Xing'er's tears looked like pear blossom rain. "I'm sorry, I'm so useless."
Zhang Yang couldn't bear it. "You go back. I will do it."
Guo Bao didn't say anything but frowned.
Although they managed to walk through the vines and thorns for the time being, it does not mean that the next road is easy to go. The forest was full of dangers, and many people only looked at the flat roads. In fact, under the piles of rotten leaves may be a man-eating swamp. People must be extra careful.
Tang Qiaoqiao's group cautiously bypassed a small swamp, and at this time, they had been in the forest for more than two hours.
Although tall and dense trees block most of the hot sunlight, it still felt very stuffy because of the dense foliage and poor air circulation.
Xu Yuyi's sweat had wetted the clothes on his back. When did he ever suffer from this problem? He really shouldn't bet with that group of friends to go on a wilderness survival show. He hit his face swollen to fill up a fat man. He could have gone to London or Paris to watch a fashion week. Wasn’t it great to take pictures of foreign streets?
[T/N: Hit a face swollen to fill a fat man is a Chinese idiom for someone who would rather pay the price and act as a great man to save face and do something they can't do.]
But looking at the woman, Tang Qiaoqiao, and Wei Yiqi, a kid who was less than 20 years old. Neither of them said the word "tired." He couldn't flinch in any way, so he could only scold the program group a few times.
"The program team is not a human being. We are not even allowed to bring water."
He whispered, "Should we find water first? Otherwise, we will die of thirst if we can't find a supply point. I don't know if the director has put any water at the supply point."
Wei Yiqi's face was flushed with heat. He pursed his dry lips and said, "Sister Qiaoqiao, what should we do next?" Whatever Qiaoqiao said, he would do it.
Tang Qiaoqiao stopped and looked ahead. It happened that they just arrived at a fork in the road.
Xu Yuyi leaned forward. " Which way do we go?"
Tang Qiaoqiao carefully observed the surrounding environment and then closed her eyes.
Nature was a natural storage place for spiritual aura. Modern society had destroyed the natural environment, which had also destroyed this aura. However, in this forest that had not been affected by too many human activities, Tang Qiaoqiao could feel the natural energy fluctuations.
She opened her eyes and pointed her slender finger to the right.
"Let's go over there."
"Why? It doesn't seem to be any different from the left?" Xu Yuyi asked in confusion. The direction on the right looked a little darker.
Wei Yiqi: "Sister Qiaoqiao must be right."
Xu Yuyi glanced at him speechlessly. This little kid was like a follower of Tang Qiaoqiao.
Tang Qiaoqiao smiled confidently. "Because I can smell the scent of water."
Xu Yuyi: "Really?"
Although he was doubtful, he still obediently followed Tang Qiaoqiao and Wei Yiqi.
As they walked, they did not see any stream of water but instead saw a large wild bamboo forest. The bamboo forest grew very luxuriantly, and the leaves were verdant. They couldnt see the end of the towering bamboo trees. The rows of bamboo were forming a quiet bamboo corridor.
Xu Yuyi looked left and right. "Where is the water?"
Tang Qiaoqiao raised her finger and pointed to the bamboo forest.
Xu Yuyi: "We are not here to travel. What's so good about this beautiful bamboo?"
Tang Qiaoqiao jumped off the small mound and trot into the bamboo forest. She touched one of the bamboos, put her ears on it, and knocked each internode one by one. Some of them sounded very empty, while others made a low muffled noise.
"What are you doing? It's like knocking on a watermelon." Xu Yuyi had a hundred thousand whys, and Tang Qiaoqiao ignored him.
Wei Yiqi: "Brother Yuyi, don't worry. Sister Qiaoqiao must have her own reasons."
Tang Qiaoqiao found what she was looking for. She patted one bamboo with a smile. "The water is here."
"Here? Are you joking? Is there water in bamboo?"
Tang Qiaoqiao cut off a section of the bamboo with the machete. After cutting a short section, there was clear water swaying inside.
"This is called bamboo juice, natural drinking water."
"How can a sealed bamboo have water?" Wei Yiqi asked curiously.
"The temperature difference between morning and evening will cause condensation of water inside the bamboo. And then the capillary tube of the bamboo will suck the water in." Tang Qiaoqiao explained while opening all the bamboo joints that gathered water together.
Xu Yuyi leaned on one of the bamboos. "How did you tell if there is water in it?"
Tang Qiaoqiao: "If the knocking sound is dull, there is a high chance of water."
Xu Yuyi had become an uncle buying melon. Knock Knock Dong Knock Knock Dong and had a great time.
Tang Qiaoqiao's lips twitched. 'Could it be that he is a fool?'
【Woo... Qiao Bao is omnipotent. If you follow her, you can rest assured】
【Xu Yuyi is really the stupid son of the landlord's family. Please look at Tang Qiaoqiao's disgusted eyes】
【Bamboo: Knock knock. Can you hear me? Knock knock】
The three people collected a lot of bamboo juice, which finally eased their thirst.
Tang Qiaoqiao was not idle. She turned bamboo leaves from the forest ground with her feet.
Xu Yuyi is now curious about what she does. "What are you doing again?"
"Looking for bamboo shoots."
Tang Qiaoqiao's voice just finished talking, and her eyes lit up. "Here it is."
She knelt down and pulled away a bunch of dry leaves, and a pointed brown-yellow bamboo shoot emerged from the ground.
"We have something to eat." Tang Qiaoqiao carefully dug along the periphery of the bamboo shoots, and after a while, the whole bamboo shoots were pulled out.
The bamboo shoots were still very tender. Tang Qiaoqiao secreted saliva when thinking of the crisp and sweet taste of the bamboo shoots.
Tang Qiaoqiao said with joy, "Don't be stunned. Look for it again quickly. Be careful when digging; don't cut off the shoots."
Hearing that it was delicious, Wei Yiqi and Xu Yuyi immediately dug out bamboo shoots separately.
They had eaten bamboo shoots before, but it was the first time they had seen them in such primitive form. Xu Yuyi was full of enthusiasm. After searching for a while, he didn't find one, but Wei Yiqi had already found two. He refused to admit defeat and began to pull under the bamboo.
"Ah! There are snakes!" Xu Yuyi grabbed a pile of dead leaves and suddenly saw a white thing. He was so scared that he crawled back on the ground.
"Don't move." Tang Qiaoqiao became alert when she heard "snake."
How could Xu Yuyi dare to move? He was shaking with both hands on the ground. His eyes were too afraid to look forward.
Tang Qiaoqiao stepped lightly and approached slowly. Wei Yiqi and the cameraman couldn't help but hold their breath.
"Where is the snake?"
"It's under the bamboo." Xu Yuyi's heart was beating wildly. A white snake seemed to be very poisonous.
【Oh my god. It is terrible. If I saw a snake, I will faint on the spot】
【Tang Qiaoqiao dared to go. Shouldn't the program team take measures to deal with this situation?】
【Qiao Bao, don't go there】
【Where is my quick-acting heart-saving pill】
Tang Qiaoqiao approached the bamboo that Xu Yuyi pointed at little by little. She looked around and finally saw the "snake" that scared Xu Yuyi to death.
"Hahaha, where is the snake?" She chuckled, and stretched out her hand to pull the thing up, then stretched it out in front of Xu Yuyi.
Xu Yuyi was so frightened that he closed his eyes and screamed. "Help!! How can you still dare to touch it?"
He didn't dare to look, but the camera lens was clear.
In an instant, in the live broadcast room:
【???? Hahahahahahaha】
【Xu Yuyi was so scared that he almost pee because of this thing?? It's too embarrassing】
【What the hell is this? At first glance, it really looks like a white snakeskin. I will be scared if I am him.】
Tang Qiaoqiao: "This is a bamboo fungus, not a snake."
Xu Yuyi opened his eyes slightly and saw what Tang Qiaoqiao had in her palm. It is a mushroom-shaped thing. On the top was a small tan hat, and under the small hat was a white mesh skirt spread downwards. Because it was hidden between dead leaves, he mistook it for a white snake.
It turned out to be a false alarm. Xu Yuyi suddenly fell to the ground, almost thinking that his life could not be saved.
But for Tang Qiaoqiao, it was a treasure. "We just dug out bamboo shoots, and now there is a bamboo fungus. This forest is really a treasure forest."
Xu Yuyi's little heart was still a bit weak, and he muttered in disbelief. "I, Xu YuYi, was actually frightened by a small mushroom. Where will my image go?"
Wei Yiqi leaned close to Tang Qiaoqiao and smacked his mouth. "How do we eat this thing?"
Tang Qiaoqiao laughed. "It's delicious in any way, but stew will be the most nutritious."
The two of them piled the bamboo sticks together, and after discussing how to eat them, she turned her head and shouted at Xu Yuyi, "Stop screaming. Get up quickly. Keep looking."
【Tang Qiaoqiao's eyes are shining when she sees it hahahahahaha】
【Qiaobao is holding bamboo fungus and bamboo shoots. She is like a little squirrel taking food home, so cute】
【Hahaha, no one cares about Xu Yuyi's little self-esteem on the verge of dying. Tang Qiaoqiao and Wei Yiqi only care about how to eat bamboo fungus】
Tang Qiaoqiao pulled up all the bamboo fungus she could find and then continued to search around. She found several more bamboo shoots and a few bamboo fungus.
"Let's go forward. The bamboo forest is so dense. There might be a stream nearby."
Wei Yiqi took off his coat to wrap the bamboo shoots and bamboo fungus. They also chopped a few sections of bamboo, tied them with dry vines, and prepared them to be used as containers.
Xu Yuyi was still brooding about the fact that he was scared by wild mushrooms along the way. He looked under his feet along the way, trying to find some face and prove that he was not a timid man.
Finally, he found something.
"Look, I also found mushrooms." Xu Yuyi yelled excitedly, pointing to a dead tree. A cluster of pale yellow mushrooms grew under the dead tree with small white spots on the umbrella.
He rushed over and was just about to reach out and take it, but Tang Qiaoqiao suddenly floated over in front of him.
"That belongs to the poisonous type, the killing-your-family-when-eaten series."
Xu Yuyi's hand immediately shrank back.
"This is a poisonous mushroom? Didn't they say that poisonous mushrooms are brightly colored?"
"You can try it. Be my guest."
Xu Yuyi was actually eager to try. "I heard that in Yunnan, you could see people dancing when you eat it. I've always wanted to try it."
Tang Qiaoqiao looked at him speechlessly. There was no doubt that he was a son of a wealthy family.
'He is stupid enough.'
Of course, Xu Yuyi was finally dragged away by Wei Yiqi.
On the road, Wei Yiqi also found a wild chestnut tree and dug up a lot of wild vegetables. Everyone's clothes pockets were full. Those that couldn't fit in their pockets were tied up and carried along.
【Fuck, did they go to the wild to survive or dig wild mountain products?】
【I was worried that they couldn't eat or drink, but now I feel like I can't finish it】
【Yes, I obviously came to see stars whining and suffering. But everyone was led by Tang Qiaoqiao to run away】
【Upstairs, you said that must be because you have not gone to see another group. That group can satisfy your wishes】
Wang Xing'er looked pained and sprayed insect repellent in her hand while walking.
"Why are these bugs only following me?"
Guo Bao walked in front of her and said in a gentle voice. "Maybe it's because you use too much cosmetics, and your perfume smell is too strong, so you provoke the bugs."
"What? This could also influence bugs?" Wang Xing'er was tortured by these insects. The key is that the insect repellent did not seem to have much effect.
She couldn't help but waved her hand angrily, trying to get rid of the bug. But accidentally, she touched a slippery and a little bit sticky thing on a branch. At first glance, it was a green caterpillar.
She screamed immediately, shaking her arms back and forth to get rid of it.
Guo Bao glanced behind her and said sharply, "Be careful, don't step back."
Unfortunately, it was too late. Wang Xing'er stepped into the mud, and it was not over yet. She reached around with her hand and grabbed Zhang Yang, who is the nearest to her. Zhang Yang couldn't stand firmly, and half of his foot fell in the mud as well.
Guo Bao's usually kind face can't be stretched down any further at this moment. How could there be such a stupid woman who didn’t help them at all but added to the chaos?
【No woman, no die!】
【It’s fine if Wang Xing'er looked for her own death but why involve Zhang Yang? In this group, she really pissed me off】
Guo Bao sighed to himself but first pulled the two people up. Fortunately, it was not a swamp. Otherwise, the recording might be over in advance.
Wang Xing'er's lower body was stained with fishy and smelly mud. She sat on the ground and cried out on the spot. She didn't want to record anymore and wanted to go home.
Zhang Yang's expression was also ugly, but it was still in front of the camera after all. The audience was watching, so they had to hold back their temper and comfort her, "Don't cry. We might have a change of clothes when we find the supply point."
Guo Bao also stepped forward. After persuading a few words, somehow, they pulled Wang Xing'er up and continued to move forward.
It was not only because of Wang Xing'er that they walked very slowly. Without eating or drinking for a long time, the human body would be exhausted.
Finally, they found a wild jujube tree. Guo Bao and Zhang Yang were overjoyed and quickly picked some jujubes. They rubbed it on the clean part of their clothes and ate it.
Wang Xing'er is holding jujube and couldn’t swallow it. How could she eat without washing it?
Guo Bao expressionlessly said, "Don't dislike it. If you don't add some water to your body, you will be dehydrated."
Wang Xinger's mouth drooped, but after thinking about it, she chewed on a few jujubes in pain.
This group was still relying on the jujubes to replenish a little bit of water, but Tang Qiaoqiao's group had already found a small stream.
There were fish swimming around in the stream.
"There's meat to eat." Xu Yuyi took off his shoes and went into the water to fish. But the fish were slippery. How could they be so easy to catch?
Wei Yiqi had a deep understanding of this point.
So he turned his starry eyes to Tang Qiaoqiao.
Only by following Sister Qiaoqiao could he eat meat.
Tang Qiaoqiao found a stick, sharpened the top, and then stood on the shore. She watched the timing and quickly struck a fish with the stick.
Xu Yuyi: "..."
After all this time, he just wanted to kneel down and call her "Dad."
【That is my sister Qiao. People, don't speak harshly hahaha】
Tang Qiaoqiao speared three fishes in a row, turned over a rock, and found a fat turtle.
She cut and washed the fish and skewered them with wooden sticks.
Wei Yiqi lit a fire with the lighter and set the fish on top of the fire to grill.
Xu Yuyi sat aside, rubbing his hands, looking greedy.
"It would be better if there was salt. It's always something missing if there is no salt."
At this moment, Tang Qiaoqiao reached out and pulled down the small pouch that had been straddling on her waist. She took out a metal cylinder from it and faintly opened her mouth.
"Here is the salt. Do you want to add some chili powder? In fact, grilled fish with cumin is also very fragrant."
Xu Yuyi & Wei Yiqi: ???
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