TDU Chapter 384
Chapter 384 Predestined Life
How many… days had it been?
I looked at the marks carved into the wall and couldn’t help but give a bitter smile.
Twenty days.
I had been trapped here for twenty days!!
During these three weeks, all I received each day was a bottle of mineral water and a packet of bread.
A human can survive three days without water, a week without food.
But if every day consists of only one bottle of water and a single loaf of bread… how long could one last?
Due to severe malnutrition, my whole body began to lose strength.
In the height of summer, I was locked in an unbearably hot little room, with no proper place to relieve myself. The stench inside was overwhelming.
Countless maggots and flies roamed the room, and the walls were crawling with innumerable cockroaches.
It’s really laughable… this situation now, it makes me want to laugh so badly.
Me, someone who couldn’t tolerate a speck of dust, now spends every day in the company of cockroaches.
In the first few days, I ran around trying to avoid them, but the room was far too small; there was no way to escape.
I could only let them crawl all over me.
The touch of cockroaches is soft and cold. When they crawl over your arms, it tickles—you can barely feel their slight weight.
I was terrified of them, but I couldn’t avoid them. Every day I could feel goosebumps covering my body, and I knew that even as I slept, they would snuggle against me, stroking with their tiny limbs.
At night, they kept me company with whispers, clinging for warmth, as cockroaches crawled out from my hair like nothing at all.
In this dark, cramped room, I had no hygiene supplies—only insects… countless insects…
But… who am I, really?
Was I the seven-year-old Zhang Laidi, who had to cook for the whole family every day after school, or the thirty-three-year-old Zhang Chenze, chauffeured to and from major corporations?
I have two completely opposite lives—this isn’t normal.
One of them must be a dream, right?
Yes, I must be hysterical.
If I had to choose now… I want to be Zhang Laidi.
I don’t want to die.
I’ve lost. I admit defeat.
In their eyes, the law doesn’t exist—they would absolutely let me starve to death here.
If I don’t become Zhang Laidi, I’ll only be a corpse.
I’m human… not a pig. I shouldn’t be locked every day in a camped space, forced to eat, drink, and relieve myself all in the same space.
I want to stand up. I want to shake off the insects crawling on me. I want to put on some clean clothes, take a bath, and bite into a juicy peach.
I will be Zhang Laidi.
How distant and unattainable had my previous dreams been?
I had imagined escaping from here, starting a new life somewhere else.
Those ten years in Chengdu were truly the most absurd dream of my life.
I was wrong. I won’t dare again.
As long as I can leave this room, I’ll agree to anything.
I’ll be Mrs. Ma. I’ll stay in the village. I’ll even have his children.
My life’s course was fixed at birth, and all my struggle since has been but a dreamlike thrashing.
If hard work alone were enough to escape such fates, then why are there still so many who live in misery? It would be unfair to them.
The dream is over; now I must return to the life that was meant for me.
My cockroach friends…do you also agree with me?
But that butcher—why hasn’t he come for me?
Wasn’t it supposed to be just five days? It’s already been twenty days!
Luckily, I can still distinguish night from day, and I can vaguely hear distant sounds—otherwise, I would have gone completely mad.
What’s been going on in the village?
A few days ago, I could always hear police sirens and faint arguments, but these past days it’s been quiet.
Unfortunately, I don’t even have the strength to speak anymore, let alone call for help.
Who will come to save me?
But would calling for help even work? The villagers were extremely united; even their testimonies were rehearsed in advance.
Out here in the deep mountains, even if someone died, it wasn’t certain anyone would report it.
It wasn’t until night that the door to the room was finally opened.
This was only the second time in twenty days the door had been opened.
“Damn it…” Butcher Ma stood there grumbling. He looked around to make sure no one was nearby, then shut the door behind him.
I gasped heavily, reaching out my hand, trying to say something—but I realized my arms had grown weak and emaciated.
When did this happen…?
"What the hell you even doin’ in the city?!" he asked, panic in his eyes. "Why’d so many cops come rollin’ in? Done spooked me so bad I ain’t dared set foot here for weeks..."
“Let me…” I finally whispered, using almost all my remaining strength, “let me go…”
“Let you go?”
I finally noticed the oil lamp in his hand. He set it aside and reached for his belt.
I was dazed, unable to process what he was doing.
"Lockin’ up a woman like you’s this much trouble... looks like I can’t sit ’round waitin’ for ya to give in. Gotta go on ’n handle ya first."
Wait… wait a minute…
At last, I realized what was happening, but my thoughts moved painfully slow. The words I wanted to speak collided like cars in a crash, choking my throat into silence.
He slapped me to the ground and started ripping at my clothes.
I had no strength to resist.
Can I just say something?
I agree… I agree to everything, but please… don’t touch me like this…
I’m begging you…
"Ugh…” He pulled down my trousers and gave me a look of disgust. "You bitch... how the hell you filthier than a pig?"
I broke down. The dignity I had clung to, the resolve I had fought so long to preserve—everything crumbled in that instant.
What sin had I committed, that my life should become so wretched?
What am I supposed to do?
At that moment, I was no different from a corpse. No matter what this foul man did to me, I could not move at all.
“Damn bitch…” Seeing no reaction from me, he raised his hand and struck my face.
Blow after blow landed, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth, yet not a single sound escaped my lips.
Only when his movements finally ceased did tears stream down my face.
So this… this is my life.
From the day I was born, my fate had already been decided.
They say that on the day of my birth, there were six infants in the delivery room—five of them boys.
My father and mother asked the doctor in delight, “Which one is our boy?”
When they learned that the only girl was their child, their faces turned dark. They turned to leave on the spot. If the doctor hadn’t scolded them back, I might have been abandoned then and there.
“Truly worthless…”
Butcher Ma stood up, pulling on his trousers. Just when I thought it was finally over, another cruel blow struck.
From his pocket, he pulled out a phone so old I could not tell how long it had been in use. Then, from every angle, he began taking photos and recording videos.
Anything he could capture, and things he should never capture.
…He was breaking the law again…
But wait… why should I even care whether what he did was legal or not?
This is my life from now on. I’m no lawyer. I’m Zhang Laidi.
At the moment when I was most helpless, most desperate, most defiled, he recorded me in detail, frame by frame.
I couldn't even raise a hand to shield my own face.
"Didn’t ya love runnin’ ’round reportin’ folks, bitch?" He flipped the phone around, waving it before my eyes. "You dare report me, I’ll spread these pictures all over, ya hear?"
With that, he spat on the ground, muttered in disgust, then slammed the door shut and locked the chain.
He left… again?
No! Don't abandon me here, I will die!
I’m hurt… sick… and nearly starving…
Don’t leave me here…
My whole body ached, and in my daze I felt a cockroach crawl across my face.
Don’t touch me… please, don’t touch me anymore…
With the last of my strength, I lifted a hand and grabbed the cockroach.
I wanted so badly to crush it in my palm.
But that wouldn’t be fair.
This cockroach had done nothing wrong. To kill it just because of my own anguish, it would be forcing death upon it without cause. That wouldn’t be fair.
My own suffering was already unbearable enough; there was no need to drag another living creature into it.
TL Note: Rant goes here ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)
