Evening Stars Chapter 28
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 28
The weather finally cleared on the third day of the National Day.
When Fang Shiyou returned home around nine in the morning, Xu Nanheng was on the phone. The young man stood tall and straight by the half-open glass window.
Sunlight reflected off the snow outside. Xu Nanheng was wearing one of Fang Shiyou's white crew-neck sweaters. It was a bit loose at the shoulders, the fabric slipping slightly, with the cuffs covering half of his hands.
When Fang Shiyou opened the door, Xu Nanheng was still talking. Xu Nanheng gestured at his phone to signal he'd be done soon. Fang Shiyou nodded, stepped inside, and closed the door.
Fang Shiyou had brought breakfast. He set it on the dining table and went to the kitchen to boil some water. Only then did he remember that every dish, cup, and chopstick in his kitchen was for one. He was about to tear open an instant noodle cup to borrow the plastic fork inside when he noticed two porcelain bowls and two wooden ones sitting by the stove.
“I bought them,” Xu Nanheng said after hanging up the phone. “Your place is so bare. If you had a dog, you wouldn't even have a bowl to give it water.”
“……” Fang Shiyou chuckled. “You want something to eat?”
“Yeah.” Xu Nanheng nodded.
Fang Shiyou had bought steamed buns and milk tea. It was Tibetan milk tea, which came in both sweet and savory versions. Fang Shiyou was afraid Xu Nanheng wouldn't be used to the savory one, so he bought the sweet kind.
Once they sat down, Xu Nanheng said, “There's a meeting for the volunteer teaching posts in the city. It was supposed to be after the holiday, but the teaching post in Gonggar adjusted its holiday due to the climate, and they start class on October 5th. So they asked if we could come to Shannan tomorrow.”
Fang Shiyou opened the bag and asked, “Tomorrow morning?”
“Afternoon,” Xu Nanheng said. “Do you need the car tomorrow? Can I borrow it?”
“I've got surgery in the city in the morning,” Fang Shiyou said. “Let's just go together.”
That worked out nicely. Xu Nanheng nodded. “Alright.”
After eating, Fang Shiyou needed to get some sleep, while Xu Nanheng wanted to go out for a walk. So after finishing, he stood up and started tidying up the bags and wrappers, planning to take them down to the trash bin on his way out.
“Wear sunglasses,” Fang Shiyou said. “The snow's piled up. It'll be glaring outside.”
Xu Nanheng gathered up the trash. “I almost had to wear your underwear, and you think I'd have sunglasses? Do I look like the type who owns a pair?”
Fang Shiyou had been up all night and wasn't thinking clearly. It took him a moment. “Oh, right.”
Then he realized……
He wore his own underwear…… wait, no, almost.
The words slipped out before he could stop himself. “Then wear mine. I'll get them for you.”
(T/N: the word used is 穿 (chuān), which means ‘to wear’ clothes, pants, shoes, or anything you put on your body as clothing.)
“No.” Fang Shiyou nearly bit his tongue. “I mean, wear mine. My sunglasses. Wear mine.”
(T/N: the word used is 戴 (dài), which means ‘to wear’ accessories like glasses, hats, gloves, jewelry, or a mask.)
Xu Nanheng studied him. “You must be exhausted. You're talking nonsense.”
“Yeah.” Fang Shiyou had finished surgery in the early morning and then read an article from a top journal. By his usual workload, today wasn't even that bad. Normally, he could handle it fine. But when he came home and saw Xu Nanheng standing by the window on the phone, his brain just stopped working.
They were about the same height and build, though Fang Shiyou's frame was slightly broader. As Xu Nanheng took the garbage to the hallway to grab his coat, Fang Shiyou pointed over. “There's a pair of sunglasses in the first drawer of that cabinet.”
“Got it.”
Then Fang Shiyou noticed that not only was Xu Nanheng wearing his sweater, but the sweatpants underneath were also his. The sweatpants had a drawstring, and when Xu Nanheng lifted his hand to get his coat, the bow tied at the front was exposed.
Fang Shiyou couldn't bear to look any longer. He got up and retreated to the bedroom, muttering quickly, “I'm going to sleep.”
Xu Nanheng had gone out specifically to buy underwear.
He'd stood in front of the wardrobe earlier, his hand reaching out to Fang Shiyou's underwear, twice, before pulling back and deciding to go without for now.
It wasn't that he had a hygiene issue about wearing someone else's. As long as it was clean, he didn't care. But Fang Shiyou's somehow made him…… hesitate. After tossing the breakfast trash, he headed toward the county town's streets. There were no big malls, but he had seen a few supermarkets when he was looking for a restaurant yesterday.
He bought disposable underwear, a razor, and other personal items, plus a few cans of coffee. He was also planning to find a repairman to help him change his door lock. Conveniently, there was a small shop across the street from the supermarket, so he went over and got a contact number.
By then, everything he needed to do was done. Xu Nanheng rarely found himself standing around on the street, holding a bag and spacing out. If this were Beijing, he wouldn't even step outside. He'd just order takeout. He wasn't fond of going out, which explained why his skin was soft and fair. Back in college, whenever he played basketball, he'd end up bedridden for three days afterward just to recover.
Standing there blankly in the middle of the street was a first for him.
The county town had few people and was quiet. Snow had been shoveled neatly to the roadside. Suddenly, an idea came to him.
Fifteen minutes later, he was standing in front of the Hunanese restaurant he'd visited the day before. The snow on the steps had been cleared. The door wasn't locked, but it was clearly outside business hours.
Xu Nanheng walked up, took off his sunglasses, gently pushed the door open a crack, and peered inside. “Hello?”
The owner at the counter looked up. “Hello, sorry, we're not open yet, oh? It's you.”
The moment he recognized Xu Nanheng, the owner's expression visibly changed several times, conveying a sense of despair, as if being reminded of a socially awkward moment. Still, he kept a polite smile, stood up, and said, “Please, come in. Are you here to eat? The kitchen's not quite ready yet, so you might have to wait a bit.”
“Oh, no,” Xu Nanheng said, shaking his head as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “Last time you treated me to fruits and fried chicken. I just happened to pass by, so I brought you some coffee.”
As he spoke, he took out the cans, and placed two on the counter.
“You really didn't have to,” the owner said. “That's too kind of you.”
Just then, the chef came out from the kitchen. When he saw Xu Nanheng, he paused briefly, then gave a small nod in greeting. Xu Nanheng nodded back politely. The man wasn't much of a talker, but from his expression, it seemed he wanted to ask why Xu Nanheng was showing up at a restaurant at ten in the morning, so he turned a questioning look toward the owner.
The owner explained, “Oh, he…… brought us some coffee to thank us for treating him yesterday.”
“Oh.” The man nodded, then straightforwardly picked up a can, popped it open, and drank it down in a few gulps. He must have been busy in the kitchen earlier and was thirsty, because half the can was gone in seconds.
The owner quickly turned back to Xu Nanheng. “That's really kind of you. Thank you so much.”
Xu Nanheng waved a hand. “It's nothing…… I just happened to pass by.”
“Ah. Are you here for vacation?”
“Work,” Xu Nanheng said.
“Work, huh.” The owner was clearly making an effort to keep the conversation going. “Haha, and are you getting used to it here?”
Xu Nanheng could tell the owner was a bit socially awkward, so he decided to wrap it up quickly. “It's fine. Well, I'll get going then. Thanks again for yesterday.”
In Xu Nanheng's social world, the only gay couple he'd personally encountered were the restaurant owner and the chef. They were his known variables. And once there were known variables, one still needed a formula to deduce and arrive at the answer.
He'd come to check on them, to make sure those known variables were still stable. They seemed to be. Before turning to leave, Xu Nanheng glanced once more at the owner, as if making one last quiet confirmation.
“Wait a second!” The owner had to summon his courage to call out to him.
Xu Nanheng turned around.
The owner looked at him. “You look like you have something you want to ask.”
Xu Nanheng was silent for a moment, then gave a small, measured nod. The modest little restaurant was quiet. The candid older brother was still out of the loop, silently finishing off his can of coffee.
The owner was observant. He could tell Xu Nanheng hadn't shown up at this hour just to drop off two cans of coffee. This was a restaurant, and apart from food, what it had was people. Since Xu Nanheng didn't come during a mealtime, it wasn't for the food. It was for the people.
And what was special about the people here? The answer was obvious: the relationship between the owner and the chef.
That was why the owner had stopped him. Xu Nanheng did have something on his mind, but the problem was……
“I just don't know how to ask,” Xu Nanheng said with a helpless little smile. “So forget it. Sorry to bother you.”
“Actually,” the owner said, “sometimes it's okay not to be so rational. Let your emotions get ahead of your reason.”
Xu Nanheng stood still for three or five seconds. Then he gave a slow, half-understanding nod. “Thank you.”
After leaving the restaurant, Xu Nanheng didn't take a rickshaw. The air was still cold, and he remembered the way. He walked along the sidewalk all the way back to Fang Shiyou's apartment.
He opened the door quietly and stepped inside. The warmth of the room eased the tension in his body. Moving softly, he set his things down, went to the bathroom to put on the disposable underwear, then came back out and turned on his laptop.
There really wasn't much to do that day. Normally, during holidays, he would stay home watching a movie or playing some games. But he couldn't do that at Fang Shiyou's place. Not only would the sound of the keyboard and mouse disturb someone, he hadn't even brought a mouse with him.
Teacher Xu decided to approach his confusion in a scientific way. He logged into CNKI, typed ‘Gay’ into the search bar, and filtered for academic journals. Xu Nanheng browsed the search results and tapped the touchpad to sort them by download count, from most to least.
One after another, the titles appeared: ‘Homosexuals,’ ‘Gay men,’ ‘Psychological Identification and Mental Health.’ A few pages later came ones like ‘Homosexual Behavior.’ Just reading the titles made Xu Nanheng's throat tighten.
It was clearly an academic database, yet he still felt awkward. Maybe it was because, in recent years, the internet had started using words like ‘fruit body’ to replace ‘nude,’ blurring or pixilating statues like David, and turning to puns, abbreviations, or English terms for anything sensitive. So when he suddenly saw a page full of the word ‘sex,’ his first instinct was to recoil a little.
He quickly adjusted his mindset. This was a research site, and he needed to adopt a serious, professional attitude. He downloaded a few papers that seemed helpful based on their abstracts, then propped his chin on his hand and began reading the first one carefully.
Being particular as always, Teacher Xu wouldn't drink straight from a can when he had a cup. While reading, he slowly pulled the tab open and poured the coffee into his cup. His eyes were glued to the screen, his hand movements like a 1.5x slow-motion replay. The more focused his eyes were, the slower his hands became.
Occasionally, when encountering a difficult term, he would squint his eyes to give his brain enough time to analyze it.
This went on until Fang Shiyou woke up and came out of the bedroom. Xu Nanheng was so engrossed that he only noticed Fang Shiyou when he reached the table.
Bang!
The laptop was slammed shut with a sudden motion.
The room instantly filled with an awkward silence. Fang Shiyou had no idea what had just happened. He hadn't even walked far enough to see what was on Xu Nanheng's screen. He swallowed, confused.
As for Xu Nanheng, who couldn't hide anything on his face, he might as well have had ‘I was looking at something I don't want you to see’ written across his forehead.
Xu Nanheng gave two awkward laughs. “Haha, you're awake.”
“Mm……” Fang Shiyou nodded, his gaze dropping from Xu Nanheng's face to his laptop. He clearly wanted to say something. He licked his lips but said nothing in the end.
Xu Nanheng figured Fang Shiyou probably wanted to say, ‘Go ahead, I won't look at your screen,’ but that would sound even stranger, like he really had been watching something explicit. However, he couldn't exactly explain to Dr. Fang that he was trying to understand and analyze himself through a more scientific and rigorous method.
Moreover, if the topic was sexual behavior, perhaps Fang Shiyou, as a doctor, could naturally contribute to the discussion from a professional perspective.
Xu Nanheng's heart was pounding. The two of them stared at each other for a moment before he suddenly remembered the coffee. He grabbed the bag on the table, pulled out a can, and said, “Here, for you.”
“Oh.” Fang Shiyou reached out and took it. The dining table was long, and he was standing at one end. He set the can down, pressed his middle finger against the tab, hooked his index finger and thumb, and opened it with a crisp click.
Fang Shiyou's fingers were long and strong. He was wearing a white cotton long-sleeved T-shirt, and with that hand, he casually lifted the can and tilted his head back to take a sip.
Xu Nanheng watched the whole thing. It was an ordinary action, uhm, a handsomely ordinary one, but since he'd just been overloaded with information about gay men, his head was now full of words related to male homosexuality.
Fang Shiyou took a few sips to wet his throat, which also served to wake him up.
“I'll make something to eat before heading to the hospital,” Fang Shiyou said. “Is noodles okay?”
“Okay.” Xu Nanheng answered quickly, and a little too loudly, the overreaction only making it more suspicious.
Fang Shiyou still felt something was off. He set down the coffee and looked at Xu Nanheng. “Teacher Xu.”
“Yes, Dr. Fang.”
“You seem a bit strange.”
“Really? I don't think so.”
Fang Shiyou thought for a moment. “The way you're looking at me right now…… it's kind of like how I looked at the frog the first time I dissected one in biology lab.”
“That bad?” Xu Nanheng was surprised. “I really don't want to dissect you.”
He wanted to analyze him on a mental level, not a physical one.
Fang Shiyou pressed his lips together and decided to head into the kitchen first. There was some yak meat in the fridge. He put a pot of water on the stove and took out a few vegetables, asking, “Teacher Xu, is beef and vegetable noodle soup okay?”
“Okay.” Xu Nanheng stood up, took a steadying breath, patted his laptop, and muttered inwardly, ‘It doesn't hurt, good boy. Daddy didn't mean it,’ before following him to the kitchen. “Anything I can help with?”
After all, he was already staying at Fang Shiyou's place. It didn't feel right to just sit and wait to be served.
“No need. It's just noodles. Go wait outside,” Fang Shiyou said.
Xu Nanheng leaned closer, watching him wash the two small bundles of bok choy. On the windowsill above the sink was a small, delicate green potted plant. Xu Nanheng asked, “This little plant's cute. What's it called?”
“That's coriander,” Fang Shiyou said, holding back a laugh.
“I shouldn't have asked,” Xu Nanheng muttered, looking away.