TPPYNG Chapter 13
Translated by Novice Translations
Executive Summary: Crafty plots and machinations, slut knocked down, Lu Wu Shuang is indeed skilled at this.
Chapter 13: Lu Wu Shuang's Love Poem
Zhao Zhi, the imperial princess, hated the Regent Lu Wu Shuang as much as she loved her.
How could she fall in love with Lu Wu Shuang, a snake-woman who was ambitious, selfish and sinister?
Was it because of her meticulous care in Zhao’fu?
Or was it because she was accustomed to her acting which easily transitioned between countless faces such as lovely, heroic, pitiful and so on?
Or was it because in those days of confusion and fear, she once took her hand and accompanied her through countless lonely and moonless nights; in the face of life and death, she was clearly greedy for life and afraid of death but was intertwined with her. She was willing to put down her most valued dignity to seduce Wang Shaoyan, the general manager of Jiangnan, just to save her life.
Fifteen years, ah, wasn’t too long to get along with each other, but in the years of war, there were countless entanglements, mixed with exciting passion.
These thoughts briefly passed in a blink of an eye, then immediately, the imperial princess with her folding fan—“pah”— opened and had a light, serene and elegant laughter that made the Regent’s blood run cold.
“Vice sect leader Qiu, old friend, I haven’t seen you in a long time. Why, you don’t know me?” Zhao Zhi significantly accentuated the words “vice sect leader”. She has been dealing with this vice sect leader Qiu for many years, but she had no good feelings for the female thief who wanted to dominate the Wulin and violate the martial law. If it wasn’t for Lu Wu Shuang, the leader of the Swallow sect, who joined the current court at the end of the previous dynasty and has done something similar with the royal guards, the imperial princess dian xia would have already boiled this group of Jianghu heroes.
When Qiu Wan’er saw Zhao Zhi, she could no longer pretend she didn’t know her. However, she was tired of being in the Regent jiejie’s arms. She raised her eyebrows and said, “Oh, isn’t it Zhao family jiejie?” This person wasn’t easy to deal with, she deliberately slighted the imperial princess—don’t forget, girl, I’m several years younger than you, young!
(TL Note: jiejie means she’s older than herself & it’s not explicitly written but she accentuated the word jiejie as her reply back to Zhao Zhi)
No woman would be calm when she was hinted by another woman that she wasn’t young, let alone this woman who jumped into her sweetheart’s bosom. Even if she knew that the Regent jiejie was innocent, she couldn’t help but cast a sidelong glance at someone.
The two martial arts experts, one forcibly held her while the other threatened her with her eyes. The Regent jiejie wanted to cry without tears.
However, the imperial princess, an old married wife, wouldn’t be cheated by her acting skills. This snake scorpion woman from the bottom of her heart wanted to act innocent, then take advantage of the fight to slip away while the sandpiper and clam war together1!
The imperial princess closed the fan and stepped forward, she said: “Shuang’er, you and Wan’er, why didn’t you tell me about your past with Wan’er jiejie?” The imperial princess sat beside her in the most noble chair. It can be said that it was the dream of countless people to “lie on the knees of beauties, wake up and be in control of the world.” The powerful majestic Wu Shuang heard her words that weren’t fast or slow and had a noble temperament.
Lu Wu Shuang noticed the princess referred to herself as “I” instead of “ben gong” which she naturally used in the past. She didn’t know why the princess dian xia was really angry. She quickly climbed up and backed away. The magnificent Regent in the hall sat down on the ground without fear of embarrassment. She broke free from the vice sect leader Qiu’s claws. She crawled back to her princess and fell down with a look of grievance. The long hair was deliberately scattered from the fallen hairpin which made her look more attractive: “Qing Qing, people were definitely not running away from home! It was because the Ministry of Works said that the disaster in Heishan county was serious. I suspected that officials were greedy for the imperial court money. People wanted to come to Wei’fu for a private visit. They came to Swallow Gate only to rest and find information. Who knows that people would meet vice sect leader Qiu…”
“Sect leader, what are you afraid of, just tell the Zhao family the truth?” Qiu Wan’er was also brazen and poised. She sat by the window. It wasn’t like a little mistress who was caught by the first wife. She shook her feather fan and drank wine. She looked at the little servant by the door and said, “What about the love poem that the sect master wrote for me just now? Go and fetch it for me. I want to look at it a few times today.”
The Regent wrote love poems which were very famous throughout the country, even in the surrounding countries. Just now, the Regent jiejie wrote a poem while she was drinking flower wine and placed it in Xiao Taohong’s bosom, which was seen by the male servant by the door. The little servant was also a gatekeeper of Swallow Gate. As a qualified thief of Swallow Gate, itching to steal was a normal reaction when seeing good things.
So, when Xiao Taohong and the others retreated, the poem fell into the hands of the male servant. Of course, this wasn’t concealed from Qiu Wan’er.
The little servant received the boss’s order but was a little hesitant.
Qiu Wan’er was furious. All the people in Swallow Gate were under her control. Unexpectedly, it was estimated that he was becoming more and more undisciplined because of the presence of the sect leader and the non-sect member that dared made him hesitate to obey her command. It was a crime that couldn’t be forgiven!
The little servant stared at her eyes and was so frightened he trembled from the powerful imperial princess’s sharp gaze. However, the sect master was like a little wife which looked like a little bird relying on people, nestling behind the imperial princess. The little boy servant was forced to take out the little poem and read:
“The sea, ah... you are all water...”
Zhao Zhi revealed some doubts. Qiu Wan’er’s brazen smile was also stiff.
“Turtle2, ah, you have four legs...” The boy servant felt some numbness on his scalp and didn’t dare look up at the great aunts’ knife-like eyes. He continued, “Little pink3, more and more beautiful…”
Zhao Zhi: “…”
Qiu Wan’er: “…”
The Regent blinked and was unable to restrain her smile, she looked at Qiu Wan’er’s innocent face and the imperial princess dian xia friendly face that was red with anger.
Qiu Wan’er, a top-notched martial arts expert in the Wulin may have forgotten that Lu Wu Shuang, the leader of the Swallow sect had great power, that could best a martial arts expert. It was her ability to craft plots and machinations and knock the sluts down. Lu Wu Shuang was indeed very skilled at this. In today’s world, in addition to the princess dian xia affection, who could humiliate her?
Then, the princess dian xia, who was really angry, extinguished her anger, smiled, her finger trembled while pointing at the paper in the little boy’s hand: “Vice sect leader Qiu, Wan’er meimei, when did you get the nickname “little pink”?
[The end]
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Footnotes:
Sandpiper and clam war together (fig) neighbors who can’t agree lose out to a third party
Turtle 乌龟 – alternate meaning is cuckold (poem meaning being cuckold 4x over)
Xiao Taohong – little pink; the name of the Queen of Flowers from earlier. Plus, little pink sounds perverted so princess has skewed thoughts.
The poem is funny because if this was a love letter to the vice sect master, she’s implying she has an embarrassing courtesan little nickname and the Regent wrote to her that she’s been cuckold 4x over. I’m assuming at the end, the joke was really funny at the end that the originally angry princess was trembling with laughter.