TPPYNG Chapter 12
Translated by Novice Translations
Executive Summary: What the hell, as a result, how to explain to a hateful martial arts expert.
Chapter 12: You and I are the Same Forest Bird, We Should Run Away Together
The Regent was well-known throughout the world as the number 1 henchman. In fact, Lu Dashan was one of the people who had unspoken criticism towards Lu Wu Shuang every day. All of this stems from that snake scorpion woman’s personality, as well as years of oppression and bullying.
She was a typical little woman who fought for power and profits. At the same time, she was vengeful, narrow-minded, ruthless and insidious. This was the image Regent Lu Wu Shuang had in the eyes of the elite guard captain Lu Dashan for the past fifteen years.
Look, he knew that the imperial princess dian xia was a black-bellied person, but she did all kinds of mischievous things that made the imperial princess dian xia gnashed her teeth. She obviously likes the imperial princess, but there should be some semblance of a woman who follows her husband in death like “Marrying the chicken, should follow the chicken, marrying the dog, should follow the dog1!” In order to survive, she would run away and abandon the imperial princess dian xia without hesitation under the banner of “You and I are the same forest birds, you should run away together with me”! Therefore, even Marquis Lu, Lu Dashan, also despised the Regent in his heart!
Fourteen years ago, Dashan was a gatekeeper. He wasn’t originally a guard, but because of his strong body and flexible mind, he learned a lot of things from Lu Wu Shuang. He was more knowledgeable than ordinary people, so as an exception he was taken into the team and followed Lu Wu Shuang as a personal guard and was bestowed the surname “Lu” by Lu Wu Shuang. Since then, Dashan was renamed “Lu Dashan”.
At the time of his youth, Lu Wu Shuang followed Zhao da xiaojie, dressed in men’s clothes who found some horsehair to make a fake beard, and took some gray powder to mask her beauty. But her body shape and voice still gave away her gender to her peers, the guards.
The eastern part of Hedong road was one of the worst disaster areas that was severely flooded. Therefore, it was also the place where the insurgents gathered. Along the way, they could see many groups of victims sitting or walking on the roadside, staring at Zhao Zhi and her party with a creepy look that caused her blood to run cold.
That look, what was it? It was like wolves that saw fresh meat.
Although Lu Wu Shuang saw this situation for the first time, she studied liberal arts, but her memory of history was very good. She has heard more or less of stories of ancient disasters. The meaning from these people’s eyes made her whole body be full of goosebumps, and the air was full of strangeness, which made her shiver from the bottom of her heart.
At about three or four o'clock in the afternoon, Zhao Zhi gave the command to stop for the meal.
Because they were rushing their journey, they didn’t have a pot to cook with, they ate dry food and drank cold water. To be honest, Lu Wu Shuang has never received such treatment in her two lives? Ah, in her past life, she never had such treatment. In this life, she was an intimate servant girl of da xiaojie of the Zhao’fu. Lu Wu Shuang’s means of eating was as if she hadn't experienced much hardships. She has taken advantage of Zhao Zhi’s power who had cleaned up half of Zhao’fu. The servant girls of the da xiaojie in Zhao’fu were hot and spicy.
“Why, not hungry?” Zhao da xiaojie glanced at her, took the rice cake from her hand and began to nibble it.
Lu Wu Shuang looked at her empty hand, then at the rice cake that was being quickly demolished by da xiaojie. It seems that it wasn’t right to take it back. Don’t take it back, wouldn’t she starve?
After a while, Zhao da xiaojie finished eating, drank a few mouthfuls of water, patted her clothes, stood up, ignored her and walked towards the horse. Lu Wu Shuang didn’t know how she offended her, but the woman’s ability to adapt was very strong. As if nothing had happened, she immediately took out a piece of rice cake from the package again and continued to eat. She also said to Lu Dashan, who had his ears pricked up to listen to the gossip and the many other guards who were watching: “Da xiaojie didn’t have enough to eat, so she took mine…It’s this servant’s blessing to give some strength to our da xiaojie.”
Lu Dashan, the future Marquis Lu, had no idea that his eyes could express deep feelings of contempt.
......
[Fourteen years later.]
When Lu Wu Shuang left home and went to Heishan county, the first thing she thought of was this tragic past. She also remembered the hard and dry feeling of eating rice cake for the first time which was difficult to swallow. However, the last piece of rice cake was mercilessly plundered by the little tigress. Then, it was difficult to eat, and she had no choice but to suffer in silence. Not only that, she could only dumbly watch her eat the rice cake as if it was awfully delicious.
Therefore, it wasn’t difficult to understand the first thing the Regent did once she arrived in Heishan county, it was to find a big restaurant to eat exotic delicacies.
Really, it was purely to taste the best food and wine.
“Lu gongzi, look how fragrant this braised lion’s head is, ah, come, this slave will feed you…”
“Lu shaoye, drink another cup—"
“Lu gongzi...”
Lu Wu Shuang’s face was pleasant as she enjoyed her meal while leaning against a certain queen of flowers2 bosom.
What? It’s not that the Regent jiejie likes to enjoy the beautiful spring scenery3, but rather it happens to be this sort of place!
After a while, the female brothel keeper entered, clapped her hands and said to the group of girls: “All out.”
The girls immediately put away the wonderful flattering and charming smiles from their faces and quietly retreated from the room. When everyone left, the female brothel keeper bowed and saluted: “Sect leader.”
Lu Wu Shuang smiled, her white fingers held her chin, she leaned on the table, wine stains on her cheeks. She looked less heroic and more charming. “Hahaha, Wan Ting, why are you here? As the vice sect leader, it’s not good to rob your subordinates of their rice bowl4.”
Wan Ting sat beside her with a happy smile. Her long fingers were painted with bright red nail polish that pulled her messy hair. She was full of charm, mature and enchanting. Her every move was seductive. “Didn’t Wan’er specially come here to see the sect leader?” The word specially was called out as if it had a deeper meaning.
Lu Wu Shuang also looked back affectionately: “Wan’er you treat me…I misunderstood you! What the hell, vice sect leader! Come to my Wang’fu! You can choose to be my wangfei, ce fei, teng qie, or maidservant!”
“Hehehehehehe...” Wan Ting grinned and covered her mouth, she skillfully avoided Lu Wu Shuang’s index finger which tried to pick up her chin. “Sect leader, how dare Wan’er fight with your family’s tigress? Wan’er should continue being the “vice” sect leader!”
One of them seemed to be deeply affectionate while the other pretended to look happy.
In fact, what were these two people thinking of?
Lu Wu Shuang: This damned meddlesome woman came to show off her ability to control the Swallow Gate’s intelligence! Don’t think that when I entered the hall and fell in the soft and gentle countryside, I couldn’t get up! This great aunt still wants to live until the next life! Does she think with that half-a-foot thick powder, others wouldn’t know that she’s 31 years old, what eyes would believe she’s only a 19-year-old girl? This coquettish taste isn’t like a pure and fresh girl, ah!
Xi Wan Ting: Why did this vicious and merciless demoness come to the hall? Wasn’t she held captive by the imperial princess? That damned demoness is only 30 years old and looks like an 18 years old girl as if she was a woman with implicit charm. Seeing that this old lady hooked up with dozens of lords in Swallow Gate, did she come take a special trip to investigate? How does this person know that this old lady embezzled 5 million liang of silver from affection? She was surprised to see me in Heishan county. Did she anticipate this? Did she deliberately lead me out to warn me? This demoness is as insidious as ever!
Wan’er jiejie…you think too much. The Regent jiejie is merely running away from home and nothing more, ah…
At this time, the door suddenly rang with a little servant’s voice: “Hey! Gongzi, ah, you can’t go in…please wait in the lobby…hey! Gongzi, you really can’t go in, ah—”
As soon as Wan Ting’s eyes turned, she immediately realized something. She instantly retreated into Lu Wu Shuang’s arms with her soft body. “Lu jiejie, it turns out that you came to see people5 specially. People is really overjoyed…”
Lu Wu Shuang was vigilant against her. When she saw her coming over, she immediately wanted to retreat and get out of the way. However, the Regent jiejie’s jack of all trades kungfu couldn’t compare against this genuine sect expert of Swallow Gate from the Jianghu, it was like a firefly in front of the sun.
Then, when the handsome gongzi with a familiar face entered, he saw a scene that caused a misunderstanding.
What the hell, as a result, how to explain to a hateful martial arts expert!
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Footnotes:
If you marry the chicken, follow the chicken, marry the dog, follow the dog (idiom) A woman should follow whatever the husband orders.
Queen of flowers – nickname for a famous beauty or courtesan
To enjoy the beautiful spring scenery (idiom) to frequent brothels
Rice bowl – livelihood; job; way of making a living
人家 (Renjia) – family; so, she’s referring to herself as Lu’s family and being intimate as heck. I just dubbed it as people to make sense out of the English translations.