My Deskmate Chapter 68 (Part 1)
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 68.1
It didn’t seem like much of a big deal.
It didn’t seem like it mattered much to say that either.
In the bedroom, the only light came from the desk lamp, casting its glow on the narrow space. Everything else was submerged in shadows, the outlines barely visible.
Wen Xiao curled up on the bed, his side profile pale, the thin black T-shirt clinging to his body, revealing only the slight curve of his cervical spine. His every joint seemed to be filled with cement, heavy and unable to lift even a finger. He felt as if he were lying alone in the freezing cold, his body stiff and numb from the cold.
His eyes were dry and sore, but his tear ducts had long since closed, unable to release a single tear. With each breath, sharp pain shot through his stomach. Instinctively, he drew his legs in tighter, arching his back to the limit, stretching it to the point of tension and pain.
The bedspread was smooth, but his movements caused it to wrinkle. Wen Xiao stared at the window, not even blinking, his eyes wide open.
His heart felt ice-cold, as if he were holding a knife and carving out pieces of himself, leaving him hollow.
The pain and emptiness made him tremble uncontrollably. Instinctively, he pressed his left hand to his lips, forcing his knuckles between his teeth and biting down hard.
The wound, which had only just stopped bleeding, was torn open again by his teeth, but the numbness dulled the pain. It was then that Wen Xiao finally let out a soft sob.
By June, the weather in Mingnan had been consistently beautiful, with bright sunshine flooding the city, making everything appear brilliantly lit.
When Wen Xiao came out of his room, his grandmother was wearing a peacock-blue embroidered qipao, having just finished watering the plants.
"It's still early," she said, glancing at him. "There’s eight-treasure porridge and purple yam buns in the pot. Have some before you go?" She frowned slightly after a quick look. "Why does your face look so bad? Are you feeling unwell?"
"Last night, suddenly... stomach pains," Wen Xiao's voice was hoarse, as if he had a severe cold. He walked into the kitchen, brought the breakfast to the table, pulled out a chair, and sat down, lost in thought.
His grandmother gently reminded him, "You haven't taken your chopsticks or the spoon for the porridge."
Wen Xiao moved slowly, as if his body were malfunctioning. After a few seconds, he got up and reached for his utensils.
She noticed the wound on his lower lip and the new scar on his left knuckles. He hadn’t had that when he entered the room yesterday. It didn’t look like an injury from an object. It seemed more like… something he had caused himself, by biting.
She wondered how much force he must have used, how hard he must have bitten, for the injury to be this severe, almost to the bone.
Her gaze followed Wen Xiao’s movements. Her lips parted, but she didn’t immediately ask him what had happened. Instead, she observed him carefully as he slowly sipped his porridge with a porcelain spoon. She knew that he was always reserved, always bearing things in silence, but to have inflicted such a wound on himself... it pained her to think about it.
"Xiaoxiao," she said gently, "If something’s bothering you, you can talk to me. I’m here if you want to share."
Wen Xiao didn’t look up. He simply murmured a low "Mm."
After finishing his breakfast, the sounds of the outside world had already begun to stir. The noise of traffic and people filled the air. Wen Xiao propped himself up against the doorframe and slipped on his white sneakers. His hand rested on the metal doorknob as he pressed it down, but the door didn’t open. After a few seconds, he pushed harder, and only then did the door creak open.
When Wen Xiao started to head out, his grandmother quickly called him back. "Xiaoxiao, you forgot your backpack."
She turned and grabbed the black bag, zipping it up before handing it to him with concern. "You look like you've lost your soul. What's going on?"
Wen Xiao slung the bag over one shoulder and shook his head. "It’s nothing, just didn’t sleep well last night." His pale lips were pressed tightly together, and he lowered his eyes, murmuring, "I'm going to school now."
At the school gate, Cheng Xiaoning was already in position. He was wearing a striped shirt, his belt tightly fastened, and his hands clasped behind his back, his voice still booming with energy.
"Do you think wearing something that looks like the school uniform will fool anyone? Are you deceiving your conscience or my eyes? Clothes without the Mingnan Affiliated High School emblem have no soul!"
"How many times have I told you? It’s fine to study, but stop reading while walking! Do you think you’re Erlang Shen, with three eyes?"
"Wen Xiao!"
Wen Xiao turned slowly at the sound of his name and saw Zhao Yiyang waving at him, with Shangguan Yu standing beside him.
The three of them walked together toward the classroom.
As they walked, Zhao Yiyang greeted people along the way while complaining, "Did I really study until two or three in the morning last night? I swear, if I keep losing sleep, I’ll never grow taller! If I can’t hit 185 cm in the future, I’ll send a banner to the school!"
Shangguan Yu: "You’ll write, 'Heartless school robbed me of my height'?"
Zhao Yiyang slapped Shangguan Yu on the shoulder and laughed loudly. "Hahaha, Your Majesty is truly sharp-witted and eloquent! I’ll write that down, but I really hope I never have to use it!"
He turned to Wen Xiao again. "How did you get that cut on your lip? Doesn’t that hurt? And did you stay up late last night? Your complexion looks awful, like you’ve just recovered from a serious illness. Old Xu has a point — studying is important, but so is your health!"
As he finished speaking, he realized Wen Xiao was walking mechanically, his attention seemingly lost somewhere, as though he had blocked out everything around him. It was clear that his words had not reached the other person.
Zhao Yiyang fell a step behind and asked Shangguan Yu, "What’s going on with Wen Xiao? Did I speak too softly?"
"You have a big voice," Shangguan Yu adjusted his glasses. "Big boss here might be lost in thought, solving a five-star difficulty problem."
Zhao Yiyang nodded. "Makes sense!"
In the last row of the classroom, Wen Xiao pulled out a chair. His gaze fell on the empty desk next to him, and his hand, resting on the back of the chair, suddenly tightened.
He remembered the first time he saw Chi Ye in the classroom, just after waking up. He had opened a can of Sprite to wake himself up and had asked, "Why are you here?"
But now, his mind instinctively asked—
Why aren’t you here?
If only… if only you were here.
It wasn’t clear if it was because the college entrance exams had just ended, but the atmosphere in the classroom was unusually focused. During morning self-study, Xu Guangqi quietly stood by the back door to supervise, only to find that not a single person in the class was playing with their phone, reading manhua, or chatting. For a moment, he couldn’t help but look up at the class sign, making sure he hadn’t walked into the wrong room.
After returning from morning exercises, Zhao Yiyang had just unfolded his chemistry test paper to ask Wen Xiao some questions when Xu Rui rushed in, looking as though his clothes had caught fire. "Something’s happened! Something huge!"
Zhao Yiyang dug at his ears. "Academic officer, is the earth about to explode, or has the college entrance exam been moved up to next year? Here’s the mic, you explain."
Meanwhile, no one noticed Wen Xiao’s pen tip resting motionless on the paper for a long moment.
Xu Rui, out of breath and anxious, glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention. Lowering his voice, he said, "It’s Chi-ge! Chi-ge’s here at the school!"
Zhao Yiyang’s expression shifted, his heart skipping a beat. "And then?"
Shangguan Yu also put down his pen and turned to listen.
Xu Rui pressed his hand to his chest. "After morning exercises, I was about to go ask Old Xu a question. When I reached the office door, I saw Chi-ge standing next to Old Xu’s desk. It looked like he was about to talk about taking a leave of absence!"
Zhao Yiyang sprang to his feet. "Damn, that’s really huge! Let’s go!"
Xu Rui didn’t understand. "Go where?"
"To the office to eavesdrop, of course! You’re not coming?"
"Of course, I’m coming!" Xu Rui hurried after him. "Wait, they’re not in the office anymore. They’ve gone to the conversation room!"
Each office at the school was equipped with a small conversation room, designed for teachers and students to have private, relaxed conversations while also ensuring student privacy. It hadn’t been used much until one teacher brought in a pillow, and since then, it had become a favorite napping spot for teachers who didn’t go home for lunch.