My Deskmate Chapter 46
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 46
"If you encounter a question about this knowledge point, it’s a guaranteed freebie! It's so simple. All you have to remember..." Xu Guangqi's voice seemed to come from a distant place.
Beneath the desk, their fingers were intertwined, neither willing to let go first.
The faint scent of medicine filled the air, reminding Wen Xiao of Chi Ye's back, his spine, and the firm lines of his muscles. His palm grew warm, and he lowered his lashes to hide the emotions swirling within him. In a hushed voice, he asked, "What about you?"
"What?"
"You grabbed my hand, so are you going to take responsibility?"
"Shit." Chi Ye's lips curled into a half-smile. After a moment's feigned contemplation, he replied in a lazy voice like a summer afternoon breeze, "As long as you want me to, I'll take responsibility. How about it?"
Their heartbeats seemed to synchronize through their intertwined fingers. Wen Xiao didn't say anything but rested his head on his arm and closed his eyes.
Yet, their hands remained entwined.
No matter the subject, the teachers always placed immense trust and tolerance in Wen Xiao. Even when he was seen dozing off at his desk, Xu Guangqi couldn't help but wonder if his lecture had been too boring, or if the material was so simple that Wen Xiao thought it better to sleep than listen. He also fretted over whether Wen Xiao had stayed up too late studying the night before and had simply run out of energy.
As Wen Xiao's vision slipped into darkness, his other senses sharpened. He could feel the warmth of Chi Ye's fingers and the thin callus on his joints.
Unsure whether Wen Xiao was trying to avoid answering his question by feigning sleep or if he was genuinely tired and just wanted to rest, Chi Ye tried to pull his fingers free, but the next moment, Wen Xiao’s fingers curled around his again, even tighter than before.
Something inside him seemed to explode in that moment, only to swell and grow immediately after.
Unseen by others, Chi Ye’s gaze softened noticeably.
Wen Xiao was slim, his knuckles beautiful. Wrapped together like this, they feel a bit hard and cold, like the icy spring water flowing from a crack in a rock. Chi Ye didn’t know what it felt like for others to hold hands, but when he held Wen Xiao's, he didn’t want to let go.
He gave their joined hands a slight shake. Wen Xiao’s lashes fluttered, though his eyes remained closed — a silent consent.
Unable to help himself, Chi Ye smiled again.
When the bell rang to signal the end of class, both of them instinctively released their hold at the same time. After holding the same position for over half an hour, their fingers had gone numb. Zhao Yiyang turned around and saw the two people sitting behind him simultaneously flexing their joints.
There weren’t many notes to be taken in math class. Maybe Wen Xiao had been organizing notes for another subject? As for Chi Ye, perhaps he was just tired from playing games?
"Wen Xiao, I have a question. How did Old Xu determine the range of x in the second problem? I didn’t quite catch it."
Wen Xiao fell silent for two seconds before responding, "It’s simple. Just work through the solution backward, and you’ll understand."
"That makes sense. I can’t keep asking you for the answers. I need to think for myself!" Zhao Yiyang had an epiphany about his approach to studying, cupped his fists toward Wen Xiao in acknowledgment, and turned to review the solution in reverse.
Chi Ye, who had witnessed the entire exchange, struggled to suppress his laughter. His deskmate seemed to be giving Zhao Yiyang some serious advice, but it was highly likely that he had no idea what Old Xu had actually taught.
Wen Xiao turned toward Chi Ye with a slightly unnatural expression. "No laughing."
Chi Ye nodded obediently. "Alright, alright. I won’t laugh. I’ll listen to you."
Outside the classroom, there were sounds of chasing and the sharp reprimands of passing teachers. Inside, some students were fighting over snacks, others were discussing the names of the new boy group members. The noise filled the air. Yet, in the midst of all this, Chi Ye felt oddly at ease.
He had told Wen Xiao before that school was his favorite place, and that hadn’t been a lie.
After flipping through the book to review what Old Xu had gone over, Wen Xiao turned to look at Chi Ye, only to find that he had already fallen asleep. His face was turned toward Wen Xiao, one hand casually resting on the desk. There were noticeable dark circles under his eyes, but his expression was relaxed.
Wen Xiao's gaze traced the contours of Chi Ye's face. He quietly took off his own jacket and draped it over Chi Ye, shielding him from the harsh sunlight streaming through the window and the surrounding noise.
Sleep peacefully.
That evening, as Wen Xiao passed the vegetable stand, he picked up some greens before heading home. As he was boiling noodles, his grandmother called him via video.
The kitchen was filled with the steam of boiling food. Wen Xiao held his chopsticks and greeted the camera. "Grandma, are you back at the hotel?"
"Yes, I just got back. A senior from the same research institute I worked at years ago invited me to her room to chat for a bit. I came back to change into something more comfortable."
Seeing his grandmother dressed in a dark, embroidered qipao, Wen Xiao teased, "Wasn't it just this morning that you couldn't bear to wear this outfit?"
His grandmother gave him an affectionate, mock glare. "The dress is beautiful, but walking in it requires standing tall, shoulders back, and keeping your posture straight. I can barely manage it for half the day, not like when I was younger."
Wen Xiao tossed the washed greens into the pot. "When you're out visiting, remember to change into slippers. Otherwise, your feet will suffer."
"Alright, you’re more thoughtful than I am." Glancing at her watch, his grandmother sighed. "Oh dear, it's almost time. Finish your homework and get some rest. I’ll hang up now."
"Mm, take care and be safe."
After washing the dishes, Wen Xiao sat down at his desk. Without thinking, he glanced toward the window across the room.
The lights were on at Chi Ye’s place. Although it looked exactly like all the other windows nearby, Wen Xiao could spot it instantly.
By the time he finished two sets of practice papers and reviewed his mistakes, he looked up again. The light in that window had already been turned off.
It was just past midnight. Was he really asleep already?
Wen Xiao felt a bit uneasy. There was one problem he hadn’t finished, and he couldn’t help but glance across the way. But all he saw was darkness, nothing else.
Then, a knock at the door broke the silence.
The tip of his pen had left a small indentation on the paper. Wen Xiao froze for a moment, then dropped the pen and quickly made his way to the door.
When Wen Xiao opened the door, it was, as expected, Chi Ye.
The worry that had been weighing on him lifted immediately. Wen Xiao heard himself asking, "Is the water at your place cut off again?"
"No, the pipes have been fixed. It shouldn’t be shutting off again anytime soon." Chi Ye shook the bottle of medication in his hand. "I just came to trouble Teacher Xiao Wen for some help with the ointment."
After Chi Ye sat down on the edge of the bed, Wen Xiao turned the light up to its brightest. "Your back?"
"Yeah, I can’t reach there myself." Chi Ye observed Wen Xiao’s expression. "There’s another spot."
"Where?"
Chi Ye tugged his shirt collar down, revealing most of his shoulder and collarbone. "Here."
There was a thin scab on his collarbone, with a large red area around it, clearly a fresh wound that hadn’t been treated yet.
Before Wen Xiao could ask, Chi Ye spoke up first. "That coach offered three times the usual pay and asked me to be his sparring partner for two hours. He promised this time there wouldn’t be any dirty tricks. I thought about it and decided to go." He gave a small, apologetic smile. "Sorry."
"You don’t need to apologize to me." Wen Xiao looked at Chi Ye’s injury. "You shouldn’t be using that spray like this. I’ll grab some cotton swabs and disinfect it first."
When Wen Xiao went to the living room to fetch the first aid kit, he noticed his fingers were trembling. After taking several deep breaths, he managed to steady his nerves.
Chi Ye needed money. A lot of money.
His eyes suddenly felt swollen, and it wasn’t until his fingertips pressed firmly against the skin of his palm that the sting forced the tears back.
How could he not understand the desperate need to grasp at the faintest flicker of hope, one that was nearly extinguished?
Holding the cotton swab in his hand, Wen Xiao re-entered the bedroom, his face already returning to its usual indifference. Fearing it would be too obvious, he placed his non-prescription glasses on his nose.
Chi Ye stared at Wen Xiao’s eyes behind the lenses for a few seconds.
Opening the package, Wen Xiao took out the iodine-soaked cotton swab and said, “Unbutton your shirt.”
Chi Ye was wearing a white shirt. Too lazy to be bothered, he impatiently pulled open all the buttons and pulled down the left shoulder of his shirt. "Is this okay?"
"It’s fine."
The wound was fully exposed. Wen Xiao gently touched the skin with the cotton swab. Whether it was the pain or the cold, Chi Ye lowered his eyelids slightly and hissed softly.
Wen Xiao's lips tightened even more.
Once the initial pain had subsided, Chi Ye idly raised his right hand to touch the corner of Wen Xiao's lips. "What’s wrong? Are you angry? Or are you worried about me?"
Wen Xiao didn’t respond, not even looking at him. He just applied a bit more pressure to the cotton swab on Chi Ye’s collarbone. "I’m not worried."
Hearing the faint rasp in Wen Xiao’s usually cold voice, Chi Ye looked at his eyes behind the lenses, momentarily unsure of what to say.
After finishing, Wen Xiao stood up, tossed the cotton swab into the trash, and picked up the remaining supplies, intending to return them to the living room.
Seeing that Wen Xiao was about to leave, Chi Ye, sitting on the edge of the bed, grabbed his wrist. "Really? You’re not worried?"
The spark of emotion ignited instantly within Wen Xiao. He couldn’t tell what kind of emotion was surging up from deep inside him. There was anger, there was a kind of heartache that had been building up for an unknown length of time, a frustration that had no outlet, and a profound helplessness caused by the weight of everything real and impossible to change.
His other hand, hanging loosely at his side, clenched into a fist, only to relax uselessly again.
Wen Xiao lowered his gaze, locking eyes with Chi Ye. Before Chi Ye could say anything else, he suddenly turned his hand and grabbed Chi Ye’s, pushing him forcefully onto the bed. His voice was hoarse and his tone ice-cold, laced with a rawness that cut deep. "Yes, I’m worried. Is that what you wanted to hear? Satisfied now?"
The curtains were tightly drawn, and the overhead light in the bedroom was glaring, making both their expressions impossible to hide.
Wen Xiao’s legs pinned Chi Ye’s waist and abdomen, leaving him almost powerless against the weight.
Wen Xiao’s eyes were filled with a restless, turbulent shadow, as if he were a pile of dynamite waiting to be set off by a single match. His jawline was taut, and with the light behind him, his features were cast in deep shadow.
They faced off.
In that suspended moment, Chi Ye suddenly thrust his waist and back with force. Gripping Wen Xiao’s shoulder, he broke free from the pressure, rose up, and in a fluid motion, slammed Wen Xiao against the edge of the desk.
Wen Xiao stumbled back two steps, his palm pressing onto the desk to keep his lower back from crashing painfully into the edge.
Chi Ye's usual casual smile was gone, replaced by a fierce, almost feral aura. Yet his actions displayed a strange, incongruous gentleness. As if Wen Xiao’s silver-rimmed glasses were a nuisance, he reached up and slowly took them off.
No more hindrance.
Chi Ye was satisfied.
The next moment, he kissed Wen Xiao hard on his soft, pale lips.