Limited First Love Chapter 30
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 30 Sad and Broken
That evening, Guo Wei systematically searched a large amount of information online, staying up until late into the night.
He painstakingly created a document, methodically organizing the pivotal details, and categorizing every nuance of daily life to be mindful of.
Even during finals, never had he applied such profound dedication to his studies.
Among the wealth of information, there were particular aspects that he was especially concerned about.
Gender, besides being physiological, also involves psychological identity. Like Ruan Yiyun, who identified himself as Beta, many people, after experiencing repeated changes, find their psychological identity out of sync with their physiology.
For example, there was a post by someone, who should have been an Alpha but had been living as an Omega for over five years, complaining that regardless of how others treated him or his own mental reinforcement, he had fully assimilated into the identity of an Omega. Despite physically transitioning into an Alpha, he still psychologically defaulted to seeing himself as an Omega, which made him feel very conflicted and in pain.
In the replies, many people with similar troubles recounted their experiences.
Those were all sad stories. Guo Wei looked at them, feeling sympathy and empathy, but also harboring some ambiguous expectations.
Ruan Yiyun had said that he had long accepted himself as an Omega. If he couldn't digest such a transformation and still clung to his Omega mindset... that would truly be amazing!
In the dead of night, Guo Wei lay on his bed, gazing at the laptop screen, his heart pounding.
Ruan Yiyun, with such gentleness, even if he grew taller, was fundamentally an Alpha. Even if he were to take it out and compare sizes, it wouldn't change the fact that he could still be his wife. He didn't mind at all.
Another piece of information that caught his keen interest was that research indicated stable romantic relationships were beneficial for redifferentiation process.
Harmonious and sweet relationships could induce the release of various hormones beneficial for transformation. Especially for those transitioning from Omega to Alpha, the instinctual possessiveness would stimulate pheromone release, making the transformation process smoother and safer.
Many people expressed agreement in their replies, sharing their own personal experiences.
Guo Wei went through them one by one, only then realizing the deeper meaning behind Mrs. Ruan's words to him in the hospital. He had become so important to Ruan Yiyun now.
He regretted leaving early at noon due to the overwhelming shock-induced avoidance mentality.
How nice it would be to spend more time with Ruan Yiyun.
The next day, upon waking up at his usual time, he immediately sent a message to Ruan Yiyun, just like any other day, wishing him good morning.
After finishing his morning routine and having breakfast, Guo Wei finally received a reply from Ruan Yiyun once they were in class.
——Morning!
——I just woke up hehe
——😘
Despite being just a few simple words and a default emoji, Guo Wei found Ruan Yiyun increasingly cute as he read the message. Once again, he couldn't help but sigh in his heart. How could such a person be an Alpha? This was really a huge joke that the heavens had played on him and Ruan Yiyun.
——Did you have trouble sleeping again last night?
He asked.
Upon reflection, he realized that all the peculiarities from before now had reasonable explanations. It was precisely because of the redifferentiation that Ruan Yiyun experienced a sudden growth spurt at this age, accompanied by untimely growing pains.
Judging from the information he gathered online, Ruan Yiyun's discomfort was probably far more than just joint pain.
——Because I haven't been going to class lately and have been stuck in the hospital with nothing to do all day, my body clock got a bit messed up, which is why I overslept.
Ruan Yiyun replied.
With this person always downplaying worries and only sharing good news, Guo Wei couldn't help but feel uneasy.
He decided to be more straightforward in his inquiry.
——I looked it up online and read that redifferentiation is a risky process with a significant amount of pain involved. Are you sure you're completely okay?
Ruan Yiyun responded with a cheerful kitten sticker.
——Don't worry. If you search online, even sneezing could be considered a terminal illness. Just ignore those things. The doctor said I'm fine, so just relax~
His words made sense. Guo Wei breathed a slight sigh of relief, but then he saw Ruan Yiyun sending another message.
——Did you stay up late searching?
——You're really good to me, but you should also take care of yourself. If you get sick, you won't be able to visit me often.
His words served as a reminder for Guo Wei.
——I don't have class tomorrow afternoon. Can I come visit you?
Ruan Yiyun responded with a heart emoji.
——Sure, looking forward to it!
On his second visit, Guo Wei, his mindset now significantly shifted, navigated with ease.
Beyond the longing for Ruan Yiyun and the gnawing urgency it fueled, a thread of apprehension snaked through him. The closer he got, the more his unease intensified.
From Omega to Alpha, there must also be gradual changes in appearance, right?
Aside from his height, Ruan Yiyun had probably changed in many ways by now. He wondered if he'd become rougher around the edges when they finally saw each other.
If one day he became burly with thick eyebrows, deep voice, and muscular limbs, he might truly struggle to call himself Ruan Yiyun's husband. If, at that time, Ruan Yiyun with such an appearance still firmly believed himself to be a delicate Omega, cooing and calling him "husband" with a soft voice, it would truly send shivers down his spine.
Guo Wei comforted himself, reasoning that even if that happened, there would be time to adjust. Today, at least, he wouldn't have to face that dilemma.
Arriving at the service desk, he presented his identification and filled out the form as before. With experience now, he no longer needed guidance and was about to walk in alone when he noticed the flashing indicator lights accompanied by a beeping sound in the corner near the service desk.
The nurse glanced over and quickly got up, hurrying ahead of Guo Wei.
"What's happening?" Guo Wei asked from behind.
"You're headed to room 1458, right?" the nurse said, "The patient is calling."
Guo Wei suddenly felt a sense of foreboding.
He stepped into the area outside the ward, but the curtains behind the glass wall were drawn up, making it impossible to see inside. Guo Wei cautiously followed the nurse, waiting until they entered through the glass door, and was quickly taken aback.
Standing by the bed, Mrs. Ruan immediately rushed forward upon seeing them, extending her hand towards the bed. "Can you please take a look? He's started again..."
On the bed, Ruan Yiyun lay on his side, his body clearly curled up under the covers, his eyes tightly shut, his hands trembling visibly. Faint gasps could be heard escaping his lips.
The nurse quickly took his temperature and, after confirming it was within the normal range, bent down and softly asked, "Is it very uncomfortable? Can you bear it?"
Ruan Yiyun still kept his eyes closed, his brows furrowed. After a few seconds, he seemed to nod slightly. The continuous trembling of his body made this slight movement barely noticeable and difficult to discern.
Mrs. Ruan, beside herself with worry, exclaimed, "It's been a while. He's covered in cold sweat, and he can't speak when asked."
Ruan Yiyun's complexion was ashen, his tightly pursed lips devoid of color. He remained silent, evidently exerting all his strength to endure the pain wracking his body.
Seeing this, the nurse swiftly produced a notebook from behind the bed and handed it to Mrs. Ruan, asking her to sign. Then, she quickly fetched a syringe and medication, slowly injecting it into the IV line on Ruan Yiyun's hand.
The entire process lasted about five minutes.
Guo Wei, afraid of disturbing them, stood silently in the corner of the room.
After administering the injection, the nurse led Mrs. Ruan to a separate room outside, explaining the necessary precautions.
Guo Wei perked up his ears, eavesdropping discreetly.
The nurse advised against toughing it out in similar situations, suggesting it would be best to consult the doctor during the routine evening rounds. The injection administered just now might make him drowsy, and a nap would help alleviate it. She reassured them that they could seek her assistance anytime if needed. The pain relief injection given earlier was the last one available, so if such a condition recurred, they would need to contact the doctor promptly, as it couldn't be delayed.
Guo Wei listened while watching Ruan Yiyun on the bed.
As the medication gradually took effect, Ruan Yiyun's previously furrowed brows slowly relaxed. His whole body became less tense and he began to breathe deeply.
Mrs. Ruan finished her conversation with the nurse and walked back in, offering an apologetic smile to Guo Wei. "Sorry, we were occupied just now. Please, have a seat."
Despite seeming on the verge of sleep, Ruan Yiyun's eyes snapped open. He sat, flashing a smile at the somewhat awkward Guo Wei in the corner of the room. "Why are you here so early?"
Guo Wei indeed arrived nearly half an hour earlier than the agreed time.
The slight resistance in his heart was ultimately no match for the urgent desire to see Ruan Yiyun as soon as possible.
He had expected to be greeted by familiar scents, sweet words, and warm embraces.
With sweat still lingering on his forehead, Ruan Yiyun's smile appeared ordinary, but his voice betrayed a hint of weakness. Guo Wei wanted to return the smile but found his attempt only resulting in a strange and awkward expression.
He obediently sat down on the nearby chair, silently watching Ruan Yiyun, his hands clenched tightly into fists on his lap.
Ruan Yiyun seemed eager to say something more but lacked the strength. He opened his mouth briefly, then quickly closed it again.
Mrs. Ruan hurried over. "You should rest properly and take a nap."
Her eyes were noticeably red.
Perhaps fearing she might lose control, she tucked Ruan Yiyun in and then quickly adjusted her expression to smile at Guo Wei. "I'll step out for a moment. There are some formalities to attend to. Can you help take care of him? If anything happens, just press the call button by the bed, and a nurse will come quickly."
Guo Wei nodded quickly.
After Mrs. Ruan left, Ruan Yiyun, who had closed his eyes, squinted them open slightly and looked at Guo Wei, who remained quiet.
The two silently locked eyes for a moment, and then Ruan Yiyun softly said, "It's okay now. I don't feel uncomfortable anymore."
After speaking, he extended his hand from under the blanket and opened his palm towards Guo Wei. "Give me your hand."
Guo Wei quickly brought the chair closer, leaning in towards the edge of the bed before offering his hand.
Their hands clasped together. Guo Wei, afraid of disturbing the IV line on Ruan Yiyun's hand, refrained from applying pressure. He gently rubbed Ruan Yiyun's skin with his thumb.
"My mom overreacted," Ruan Yiyun said sluggishly, "Even without treatment, the discomfort usually subsides after about ten minutes."
Guo Wei finally spoke up, "Do you often experience this?"
Ruan Yiyun immediately denied, "No, it's very rare."
"Were you feeling this uncomfortable those nights?"
"No, that's just growing pains." Ruan Yiyun shook his head lightly.
Guo Wei fell silent.
Ruan Yiyun opened his eyes fully and looked at him, gently shaking Guo Wei's hand. "Really, I'm not lying to you."
Guo Wei nodded. "Hmm."
At the same time, large droplets of tears welled up in his eyes, quickly streaming down his cheeks and landing on their intertwined hands.
Guo Wei hurriedly lowered his head.
But the subsequent tears that followed, one after another, were impossible to conceal.