EnCoffin Me Chapter 31
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 31
The immediate priority now was to catch that skeletal chicken.
For Alexio, it was certainly easy, but it made no sense for him to do it himself. So after a brief moment of frustration, Alexio quickly composed himself and reached out to pat the lich's head.
“Lucy, you're a lich. You should be controlling the carcass, not the other way around.”
The lich's eyes blurred with tears. She raised her hand again, trying hard to manipulate the chicken carcass. But all she got was the carcass still hanging upside down on the curtain, shaking wildly and erratically.
Tears streamed down the lich's face.
“…Don't cry.” Alexio only had a basic understanding of necromancy. He couldn't actually perform this magic, which gave him a headache.
“Imagine there's a line connecting you and that skeletal chicken,” he said, trying to recall snippets of information the silver-haired lich had once told him, hoping to give Lucy a hint. “Then use your other hand to cut that line.”
Lucy wiped her tears and obediently lifted one hand. The skeletal chicken convulsed violently. Then she raised the other hand, fingers together, pretending to slash at the invisible line.
Alexio felt sure it had worked this time! He heard the sound of bones falling! He…
How terrifying! What he saw was truly terrifying!!!
Some bones had indeed fallen to the ground, showing that the connection had been severed. However, Lucy's skill was still unrefined. She only managed to cut the link halfway. The skeletal chicken split terrifyingly in two, one half still hanging on the curtain, twitching wildly, while the other half scattered across the floor. After an initial silence, the scattered bones began hopping and dancing in a circle.
The lich burst into tears again.
The skeletal chicken reassembled itself once more. Looking eager to explore the outside world, it dashed wildly around the room. The wolf cub, afraid at first, gradually peeked out from behind Alexio's leg and sniffed in the direction of the skeletal chicken.
Wolf cub: …It smells kinda good.
Before Alexio could react, he heard Dalph let out a sharp yelp. He looked up and saw the wolf cub guarding the path the skeletal chicken was running through. As it charged forward, the cub lunged to bite, but the skeletal chicken nimbly leapt aside, causing the wolf cub to crash face-first onto the floor.
“Awawaw…”
The wolf cub whimpered, scrambling up in embarrassment, thinking Alexio would definitely not pet his cute head now.
Unexpectedly, Alexio bent down and rubbed his head, praising, “Good job, sharp instincts.”
The wolf cub suddenly lifted his head. His two silver ears, striped with black on the inside, perked up instantly. His tail wagged so fast it nearly formed a flower shape as he happily nudged Alexio's hand.
Alexio, who just thought the wolf cub had awakened its wild instincts: ……
Helgodon had a special trait. Every time he was convinced he was a wolf, he would instantly act like a dog.
Seeing the praise go to someone else, the lich grew even more upset and began crying harder.
“All right, let's not rush to solve this problem just yet.” Alexio changed his approach, deciding it was better to let the two of them get some practice first. “Helgodon, try to catch it, no biting, only use your paws. Lucy, forget about that carcass for now. Let's start with some smaller bone pieces.”
Zhu Heng raised his hand like a schoolchild.
“Teacher Xixi, we didn't order any teaching materials in advance.”
They had no spare bones.
Alexio thought for a moment and hesitated. “Uh… maybe we can buy some grilled wings from the cafeteria?”
Everyone: “……”
Great idea!
Zhu Heng treated everyone and came back with a pile of grilled wings from the cafeteria. He also grabbed some cola, then some fries, then a few burgers, and then, on impulse, some spicy sauce and honey mustard. The two caretakers patiently picked the meat off the bones, saving the bones and eating the rest. Alexio held an extra wing in his mouth and called out to the wolf cub. The cub just let out a distracted “awoo,” still fully focused on the sprinting skeletal chicken.
The skeletal chicken's movement was completely erratic, but perhaps due to the lich's necromancy, it retained certain behaviors from its former life. As the wolf cub stared at it intently, some hidden instinct seemed to awaken within him. In his mind, he could almost picture a vast grazing field, where a colorful flock of healthy chickens pecked at grasshoppers and green grass.
At the head of the flock was a rooster, the most robust and striking of all. It let out a loud, clear crow, its feathers gleaming with iridescent colors under the sunlight. The hens gazed at it with admiration, full of longing, marveling at its regal bearing.
Then, someone's voice rang out, faintly amused.
【Wow, what a beautiful rooster. Truly the pride of our ranch.】
【Let's slaughter it, clean it up, and send it to the conservation center as food for the cute dark creatures.】
Rooster: …quietly produced a question mark.
Helgodon's vision ended, and his eyes brimmed with emotion. From birth to coronation to being eaten, he felt as if he had accompanied this chicken throughout its entire life. He now truly respected it, so there was no way he would let its dignity be sullied!
He had already figured out the skeletal chicken's movement patterns!
Alexio and the others gnawed on their grilled wings, watching the round little wolf cub inexplicably burst with fighting spirit. He even moved his short legs from one spot to another, running back and forth without seeming to tire. The skeletal chicken was faster than him, so the cub had to rely on predicting its path to intercept it, which was usually an opportunity that came after a long wait.
The cub crouched low to the ground, tail flicking slightly, his icy blue eyes locked onto the skeletal chicken. Suddenly, he sprang! A powerful leap, his chubby paw swinging out, silver-white fur glinting under the lights—
The skeletal chicken, with no leverage in the air, let out a cold laugh. It held a similar respect for this young enemy, after all, this was someone who understood its entire life. However, it also wouldn't sit idly by and wait to be caught!
The skeletal chicken performed a mid-air display of upper-and-lower-body-separation.
“Awawawawooo!” The wolf cub was terrified by this sight. All his grand ambitions, mutual understanding, and respect evaporated in an instant. He tumbled and scrambled back to Alexio's side. Alexio was calmly chewing on a fry when he suddenly felt something bump into his leg. Glancing down, he saw the wolf cub had buried his head against his calf, leaving only his trembling, round butt exposed.
Alexio paused mid-chew, then continued. He had long since stopped being surprised by anything.
He tilted his head, and with a sharp ‘whoosh,’ a chicken wing bone controlled by the lich whizzed past his ear like a boomerang. Lucy didn't lose heart. As soon as one failed, she launched another without hesitation.
“Anyone want the mustard sauce?” Alexio asked blandly. “If not, I'll eat it all.”
“Can you save me just a little?” came Ellie's quivering voice from under the table. “I want to dip my nuggets in it QvQ!” She even turned to check with Zhu Heng, who was crouching beside her. “Dr. Zhu, do you want anything?”
“A cup of cola, please. I feel a bit choked.”
“What about Dalph? Dalph, anything for you?”
“No, I'm full. Thanks.”
Alexio, the only one still sitting properly at the table, silently took in the entire conversation. Amidst a flurry of flying wing bones, he picked up a box of chicken nuggets, a cup of cola, and some sauce, and passed them down under the table. Then, with quiet sincerity, he placed a firm hand over the lich's.
“Lucy, take a break. Have something to eat.”
He meant every word, even as chicken wing bones continued to whiz through the air like boomerangs all around them.
The wolf cub let out a faint “awoo,” quietly indicating that he wanted something to eat too. But before Alexio could respond, a flying chicken wing bone struck him squarely on the butt! With a yelp of pain, he leapt into the air, spun around, only to once again lock eyes with the fully reassembled skeletal chicken.
“AWOOO!!”
The cub was genuinely terrified this time. He exploded with unexpected strength, clawed his way up Alexio's pants, and curled up into a tight ball in his arms, trembling, ears pressed flat against his skull. Alexio sighed and gently smoothed his fur, then looked up at the rigidly standing skeletal chicken.
The skeletal chicken gave him a bleak, sorrowful smile. It had thought it had found a kindred spirit, a worthy rival. It never expected its opponent to flee in the middle of battle.
Alexio: ……
Was he losing his mind? Why did it look like the carcass just gave him a bleak, sorrowful smile?
The skeletal chicken thought of the endless pasture, the little hens, the kind-hearted ranchers, and the lich who had granted it a second life. It wanted to crow once more, but as a roasted chicken, it no longer had a head. Caught in the depths of eternal regret, it could only think—
If only it hadn't been so beautiful.
Without the will to support it, the skeletal chicken collapsed on the spot. The lich reflexively raised her fingers to reassemble it, but Alexio firmly held her hand down.
“Please! Stop! Sure, the chicken had a tragic life, but isn't it better to let this nightmare end?”
The lich obediently stopped moving, but then tilted her head slightly, as if something had clicked in her mind. She looked around. Chicken wing bones were still flying chaotically through the air, but she seemed to sense something within them, faint traces of emotion. In fact, she started to believe that each bone had its own personality, shaped by the life it once lived.
Realizing this, she lowered her head and stared at her hands in a daze.
This sudden ability to animate bones seemed far more profound than she had imagined. In her hands, these bones were not just mindless remains. They were fragments of past lives, carrying echoes of former personalities. If she could understand and connect with those emotions and histories… maybe she could control them more naturally.
She tugged on Alexio's sleeve. When he turned to look at her, she gave him a small, closed-mouth smile.
She had made progress too, and she wanted to be praised.
Alexio blocked another flying chicken bone and gave her sincere praise, then suggested they continue this emotional breakthrough somewhere safer. The lich cheerfully got up. The bones, though out of control, didn't harm her, so she reached the door with ease. She glanced back in confusion, only to see Alexio passing around empty fried chicken buckets under the table.
“Put it on your head,” she heard him say. “When I count to three, we run. Got it?”
“No matter who falls, no one stops to help. I'll handle it!”
Lucy: …?
After a chaotic escape, Alexio, who was covering their retreat, slammed the door shut, sealing off the boomerang hell inside. The survivors exhaled in relief. Zhu Heng took the lead and clapped his hands, declaring it applause for everyone present, in honor of their successful escape.
Alexio felt utterly exhausted. He really, really didn't want to do this anymore.
The thought hadn't even fully formed in his mind when the coward wolf cub leapt onto his head. From around the corner, a massive shadow rapidly approached, and Alexio heard a familiar cry—
“Claus!”
The manticore pounced in front of him with a powerful leap, clearly having puffed itself up again from its daily dose of compliments. It proudly extended its tail.
Want a pat?
Alexio was just about to refuse when another staff member came rushing in from a different direction. The moment they saw Alexio and Dr. Zhu Heng, they looked as though they'd found salvation.
“Prince Alexio, Dr. Zhu! Something's wrong again! The night birds aren't eating again!”
This wasn't the first time the night birds had gone on a hunger strike. Zhu Heng sighed, clearly distressed, and instinctively turned to look at Alexio.
Alexio stood expressionless, the wolf cub clinging to his head like a terrified hat.
He felt like he could write a book.
“Work: From Clocking In to Quitting Forever.”