EnCoffin Me Chapter 29
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 29
“What kind of package did you order?!” Alexio turned around in shock. “Is it because of the discount? Is there a newlywed package discount?!”
He had been wondering why that little robot was so strange. Its personality was made to be childlike, even trying to mediate between the two of them and feeding them cheesy romantic speeches about spending life together. It was clearly designed for newlywed couples!
Lucius searched the order on his lightbrain. He remembered that the home-assistant robot package had been marked ‘for two’ at the time. Now he found that order again. The product name did have ‘for two’ in parentheses, but underneath there was a line of small text…
【A World For Two Home Decoration Service.】
Adding ‘a world,’ an entirely other world.
Lucius calmly hid the page.
“That was my mistake,” he admitted, “but the home decoration plan was decided separately, so it wasn't affected.”
That was indeed the case. Alexio glanced around. There were things he had ordered, like the table and the latest-model screen, but also things that lunatic had bought, like the rug in the living room and those brightly colored throw pillows.
He had originally thought the lunatic would follow the Holy Temple's aesthetic and dislike these lively but rather informal colors. But the lunatic said that in some northern town he'd once visited, the winters were long and harsh, so the residents' homes were full of these bright little things, giving an extraordinary sense of warmth.
“Are we getting ready for a livestream?”
After finishing the dinner delivered from the center, the saint asked this question.
Alexio remembered that Ellie had indeed hoped he would start the livestream once he had tidied up enough. He glanced at his lightbrain. He hadn't posted any updates himself and could only read the comments under Ellie's posts. Sure enough, they were full of desperate cries.
【When is Xixi going live... Will there be a livestream tonight…】
【I'm dying without my Xixi fix…】
【My gift won't send out, it's burning my hands!】
“Go ahead, just film the room or something. Where's the camera the center gave us?” Alexio decided to livestream once. The camera was the newest, most fully featured product the center had gifted them, apparently still in an unopened box somewhere.
“I'll help you find it,” Lucius said, turning around. He faced away from Alexio and opened a box. After fiddling with something, he turned back.
“Here, try turning it on first?”
But the livestream comments was already going wild.
【Aaaaahhh, History Book, what kind of saint from ten lifetimes are you aaaahhh!】
【I almost jumped when the stream suddenly popped up, then saw History Book making the shushing gesture. It's so cute!】
【So this means we're secretly watching without telling Xixi?】
【I'm shamelessly excited!】
Alexio took the round, chubby camera into his arms. The comments instantly scrolled frantically with ‘I'm being hugged by Xixi.’ He then raised the camera, looked at the lens seriously for a moment, and then blinked.
“How do I turn this on?”
【I'm commenting from my grave!】
【He killed me! He killed me, waaahhh!】
Lucius, pretending to be serious, held the manual and explained to Alexio.
“The second button from the top on the left side is the hover mode.”
Alexio pressed it. The camera unfolded two metal wings and floated in the air. It adjusted its focus automatically and locked onto Alexio as the target. No matter which way Alexio moved, the camera quickly followed. Alexio walked it around the sofa a few times, then suddenly crouched down, disappearing behind the sofa, and popped up half his head to see if the camera could keep up.
The camera was confused for a moment before it found him again, and the live comments expressed what the camera was ‘thinking.’
【Camera: This is way too hard for me.】
【Hahaha, vanished in an instant!】
【So cute! Ah Wei is dead!】
(T/N: awsl)
“Use the command ‘Name’ to start the naming program. After that, just call the camera by its name to begin filming,” Lucius said, already closing the manual. He knew all these functions by heart, but Alexio was so focused on the camera he didn't notice Lucius was speaking off script.
“Now you can also use the command ‘Live Comments’ to bring up the comment assistant.”
Alexio followed the instructions and summoned the live comments. A dense stream of messages spread across the transparent screen on one side in front of him. As Alexio thought about what to name the camera, he suddenly noticed the phrase that appeared most in the comments.
【Ah Wei is dead!】
Then, he decided to call it ‘Ah Wei.’
【Wh-what a cruel name…】
【G-good name… Xixi is awesome!】
The comments gave reluctant praise. Even if Alexio said the moon was square, they'd probably respond ‘Yes, yes,’ and then send someone to make the moon square. That was the frightening influence of these dark creatures in this era.
Lucius watched the livestream for a while, then stood up and picked up his box of files and books.
“You keep livestreaming. I'm heading upstairs.”
“Huh?” Alexio let out a questioning sound. It wasn't that he wanted to keep him, but being watched during a livestream was indeed a bit awkward. However, the living room was a shared space, and he wondered if he had taken away the lunatic's right to stay there.
“It's fine. I need a relatively quiet environment to continue revising history. Going back to my room works perfectly.”
Since he said so, Alexio didn't insist further. Watching the saint carry the box of books upstairs, he returned his attention to the comments.
“Want to… chat first?” He wasn't sure what about himself was worth curiosity, but since the viewers thought just talking casually was enough, he certainly wouldn't refuse this easy task. He sat down on the new sofa, thinking the lunatic back in his room would probably be revising history and then going to bed on time. Hunters from the Holy Temple were always strict and disciplined.
Lucius returned to his room. After a day of tidying, the house was perfectly habitable, and many details were designed to blend both his and Alexio's tastes, making him feel very comfortable. He took some documents out of the box and placed them on the desk but didn't fully set them down. His hand rested on the lower right corner.
Work?
No! Watching the livestream!
He pushed the documents aside to make room for his lightbrain. He set his notebook in front of it and prepared screen recording and audio recording.
He searched ‘vampire’ directly on the lightbrain. The first result was Alexio's livestream. Just as Lucius was about to click in, he noticed another livestream next to it, also titled ‘Daily Life of a Vampire,’ streaming at the same time. He was puzzled. Alexio was the only known vampire. What was this other livestream about?
He glanced at its description. The streamer said they really liked the vampire in the videos posted by Pupil, so they had dyed their hair, styled their eyes, and gotten minor cosmetic work to look more like a vampire. They hoped for everyone's support. The channel had been created before the vampire's resurrection.
Lucius guessed this was probably someone riding the hype train. He clicked in and saw a young man with flaxen hair and green eyes livestreaming himself singing.
Lucius: ……
He understood. It was definitely a case of riding the hype. Unfortunately, the first video edited by Pupil, compiling many clips, was merely a primer, or a test run. The vampire featured in it was a fifth-generation vampire. Lucius didn't think even Alexio knew who that vampire was. Meanwhile, the streamer in this channel had gone so far as to get cosmetic surgery, but it was Alexio who had actually resurrected from the coffin.
Understanding the full truth, he exited this livestream and, while he was at it, reported it anonymously.
Reason: Insulting dark creatures.
After finishing all that, he re-entered Alexio's livestream. In just a short absence, Alexio had moved in front of a large screen and installed the holographic gaming device Andrei had given him. He was searching the game market for something to play while casually chatting with the viewers.
“Yes, this one on my face is called【Sword Embracing the Roses】What? Based on the design, should it be【Roses Embracing the Sword】?”
“This… naming logic is probably like the tenderloin flatbread?”
(T/N: tenderloin flatbread — it literally means ‘pork tenderloin wrapping the flatbread (里脊夹饼),’ but in reality, the flatbread wraps the sliced pork tenderloin)
Tenderloin flatbread was some kind of snack from the eastern faction.
Lucius tightened his mouth, narrowly holding back a laugh.
Alexio was struggling to decide what to play. Without any guidance, he asked the viewers to recommend something. The live comments immediately flooded with a bunch of casual puzzle and shooting games. Alexio looked over the string of sweet and cute game titles and firmly declined.
“I don't want to turn into a cat, and I don't want to fly freely,” he said. But even after scrolling through the game catalog, he hadn't found a single game with a relatively normal art style. Everything was overwhelmingly cutecute, .
Alexio picked up the box containing the game console and glanced at it.
【Special supply for dark creatures.】
【Xixi, let me take care of you for the rest of your life QAQ! —By Andrei】
There was a big chibi unicorn head as the signature.
Alexio: ……
He pulled out his lightbrain. The viewers only saw him find Andrei's contact among a few people. Without a second's hesitation, Alexio blocked him on the livestream.
【Mr. Andrei is truly the most pitiful one…】
【Oh no, that profile picture is too demonic. My image of a political elite is completely shattered!】
Upstairs in his room, Lucius, saw Andrei's silly messages on the console. He quietly took out his own lightbrain, found Andrei in his contacts, and sent a friendly reminder.
【Lucius: You've been blocked by Alexi.】
【Andrei: ???】
Before Andrei could even process his confusion, Lucius coldly tapped his fingers again, blocking him a second time.
Andrei, blocked by two people in one night: ???
With nothing else to play, Alexio settled on a cute shooting game, but he blew apart every opponent with every shot, leaving them deeply shaken. After a yawn, he announced the end of the livestream. Before logging off, he noticed a comment asking about his plans, so he replied casually.
“The new place is basically sorted, just some finishing touches left. I'll finish them tomorrow morning.
“And… the conservation center hired me to look after some dark creatures.
“Playmates? Mm, that's probably what the center expects, but I don't see it that way.”
His red eyes narrowed slightly as he thought of Helgodon, who still stumbled when walking. The heart that had once nurtured an outstanding wolf king began to stir with restless ambition. He and the lunatic had confirmed that remnants of the Holy Temple still existed in this era. So whether for the revival of the three pillars of darkness or to remain vigilant, at least some dark creatures had to gain the ability to protect themselves.
“Helgodon, Lucy, maybe you're watching. Listen up.”
The wolf cub and lich in front of the screen instinctively straightened their backs.
“I'll be back at the center tomorrow afternoon. I'm not as easygoing as your caretakers, so be prepared.”
The wolf cub tucked his tail tightly, and the lich nodded obediently. As if sensing their reactions, Alexio's expression softened slightly.
“Get some rest.”
The chat flooded with messages of ‘Goodbye Xixi’ and ‘Good night Xixi.’ Alexio ended the livestream and exhaled deeply.
He sensed the lessons ahead would be extremely tough.
Meanwhile, in another room at the conservation center, amid colorful drapes and feather decorations favored by the eastern faction, a lightbrain floated. Below it, Zhen rolled from one end of the bed to the other, grumbling resentfully.
“He didn't even call my name… I want to play with Xixi too…”
After rolling around, he picked up his lightbrain and sent a message.
【System notification: You are not a friend of this user. Your message has been rejected.】
“……”
Hmph!!!