EnCoffin Me Chapter 28
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 28
Alexio not only picked up the coffin lid for him but also thoughtfully put it back on and found a rope to tie it up. Ellie came over and said everything had been packed up. The center's truck was on its way to help Alexio move to his new home.
“Take this too. Put it on the truck,” Alexio said, patting the dust off his hands. Although Ellie was confused, she followed his instructions.
“By the way, where's Mr. Lucius?”
Alexio didn't answer directly. He simply glanced at the coffin and said slowly, “Ellie.”
“Huh? I-I'm here!”
“When a vampire gets into a coffin, it's called sleeping. Do you know what it's called when a human gets into a coffin?”
“…What is it called?”
“It's called being buried.”
Ellie was completely bewildered, her head full of question marks. Still puzzled, she carefully watched as the coffin was loaded onto the truck. Just as the compartment door closed, she thought she heard a sigh from inside the coffin.
Ellie: !!!
It's haunted. Oh my god!
Even though it was only a temporary departure from the center and he'd be working there again in the future, a few sentimental staff members still teared up. They brought all sorts of gifts to celebrate Alexio's move to his new home. Holding the complete gaming gift set from Andrei, Alexio waved goodbye to the staff he'd gotten along with during his time there.
As the gray barrier rose along the way, Alexio looked down at the schematic of his new home on his lightbrain. The more he looked, the more satisfied he felt.
Yes, it wasn't just a house. It was a home, a place of rest unlike the vampire's ancient Blood Moon Castle or the Moon River Manor he once owned. Even though he had to share half the space with that lunatic, they could still discuss the interior design.
Just as he was thinking about him, a message from the lunatic popped up on his lightbrain.
【Lucius: …Let me out.】
【Lucius: They're unloading.】
【Lucius: Where are they taking me?】
【Alexio: Hahahahahahahahaha!】
【Lucius: ……】
No more messages came through. He was probably thinking of a way to escape. Alexio looked out the window and saw the house that now belonged to him. The truck was being unloaded, and efficient robots were moving the boxed luggage and gifts into the house. Online orders were also arriving one after another. The delivery teams from both sides exchanged a few words and designated separate areas to stack the goods.
Because the new home needed a lot of new things, the small garden quickly filled up. The coffin was by far the most space-consuming item. Alexio saw the staff on both sides exchange a few words. One person shook their head, then another said something. The first person looked at some document before nodding in agreement.
They stacked the excess boxes on top of the coffin.
Alexio: Hahahahahahaha!
Coffin: “……”
Once everything was delivered and signed for, the staff gradually left, leaving only the home-assistant robots behind. Ellie also returned to the center, telling Alexio to enjoy the fun of home decorating in this world after ten thousand years. Of course, she also reminded him to find time to livestream once everything was tidied up.
【Lucius: Are you sure you're not letting me out?】
【Alexio: No.】
【Lucius: …Won't you regret?】
【Alexio: Never!】
The other side went silent. Feeling victorious, Alexio even moved a few boxes aside and sat down on the coffin. The gray barrier covered the small garden as he hummed ‘Praise the Stars,’ swinging his legs and surveying the scattered cardboard boxes and the dumbfounded robots.
Slowly, his legs stopped swinging. Alexio realized the problem he was facing.
【Alexio: I'll untie the ropes for you. Come out.】
【Lucius: No.】
Alexio: ……
Retribution came so fast. He had forgotten someone still needed to do the work!
He untied the ropes binding the coffin and removed the lid. The saint lay inside peacefully, eyes closed as if napping. Feeling the light, his eyes cracked open slightly before closing again.
“Get up and work!” Alexio said angrily. The saint inside the coffin gave a faint laugh and replied slowly, “As you wish.”
“……”
This lunatic always found a way to nearly burst his lungs in an instant!
Alexio took some measures, and finally the two of them sat peacefully on the sofa in their living room. The sofa was a freshly unpacked fabric couch, and the home-assistant robots had been a huge help, even cleaning up leftover boxes. They were very advanced. After scheduling their tasks and organizing the goods, they rolled over to Alexio and Lucius, lifting their round heads and displaying smiling faces on their electronic screens.
“Please come help us~ Please come help us~” The smallest robot shook Alexio's hand in a coaxing manner. “Please join us both in decorating this new home.”
“The designers of these robots seem to have their own set of philosophies,” Lucius said. He was the type who liked to prepare in advance, and since these home-assistant robots came as part of the package, he naturally accepted the designers' ideas.
“The designers believed that as time progressed and machines replaced human labor, the distance between people would only grow.
“People would gradually stop doing things together and instead leave everything to machines. So they proposed the concept of humans and machines working together. With machines as a safety net, people wouldn't have to rush their work, and with human involvement, machines could achieve better creativity.”
Alexio was already softening as the little robot shook him gently, prompting him to get up from the sofa. The robot happily followed its program and introduced its two partners. The medium-sized robot could assemble all kinds of furniture and vacuum up any debris generated in the process, while the tall robot handled heavy lifting and tasks at higher elevations. The one holding Alexio's hand was the guide robot, leading them to each item while carrying preloaded decoration plans, as if a designer was on site.
“Isn't this great?” Alexio liked the three robots very much. Even though he had been a prince who had never done manual labor before, he was willing to try. Lucius, with the Holy Temple's education, had no aversion to working.
“Let's start with the living room! You two compete to find boxes labeled A1 and A2 first! Ready—”
The little robot's screen curved into bright, smiling eyes.
“Go!”
With a whoosh, the people in front of the little robot were gone. It didn't realize how strongly the word ‘compete’ had spurred them on. Confused, it spun around a few times before jumping up and chasing after them.
“Hey, you two! Wait for me!”
The entire house was shrouded in a gray curtain, so Alexio didn't have to worry about sunlight. He quickly found the row of boxes labeled ‘A’ and his eyes lit up. But before he could grab one, a long chain suddenly wrapped around two boxes at once and pulled them aside. Naturally, he lunged and missed.
Alexio looked up in anger. The saint showed no expression as he picked up the two boxes and ran off.
“You lost,” Lucius said without missing a chance to taunt. Alexio coldly smiled at his recklessness and instantly teleported in front of him. With two boxes between them, they were about to start fighting—
“Don't fight, boo-hoo-hoo!” The little robot finally slid over and stood between them. The tall robot quickly took the two boxes and carried them inside, leaving Alexio, Lucius, and the little robot facing off outside.
“Boo-hoo-hoo…” The little robot sniffled pitifully and looked at Alexio, extending a mechanical hand for him to hold. Alexio softened a little and took the tiny robotic hand. The robot repeated the gesture, grabbing Lucius' hand with its other.
“Don't fight. This is your new home, and you two will be companions on life's journey from now on.”
Alexio: …?
The reasoning was sound, but he couldn't help feeling something was off.
The little robot held Alexio's hand in one and Lucius' in the other, joining their hands together with a bright smile.
“Isn't this nice?”
Alexio: ???
Lucius: !!!
Alexio felt a faint callus on the saint's fingertip.
Strictly speaking, vampires were already dead, so they didn't bear scars or calluses. As long as their blood was sufficient, they could quickly restore themselves to peak condition. So, touching a hand that truly belonged to a human made Alexio instinctively pull back. But before he could, he felt the saint's index finger unconsciously brush against his palm.
“What kind of freaky friendship program is this?!” Alexio jerked his hand away sharply and shoved it into his pocket.
“Maybe it's because two people fought over decorating,” the saint speculated rationally, though his index finger curled slightly.
The program was pretty thorough, though the handling method could use some improvement. This was way too awkward.
The little robot looked left and right, then automatically moved on to the next task.
“Let's hang the curtains together!”
Alexio found himself doing an incredibly difficult job. For the first time, he realized how hard decorating a house could be, even with robots helping. No wonder the Moon River Manor he lived in ten thousand years ago required so many servants just to keep things running.
The tall robot transformed into a ladder so Alexio could hang the high-up paintings. After he finished, he tilted his head to check if they were straight. Just then, the saint passed by outside the sliding glass door, carrying a hammer and a garden fence. Alexio called out to him.
“Is it straight?”
“It's crooked, a bit to the left.”
Alexio shifted the painting slightly to the left.
“Now it seems a little too far left, move it to the right.”
Alexio moved it back to the right.
“Looks like now it's…”
Frustrated, Alexio jumped down and grabbed the tall robot, still in ladder form, preparing to toss it at Lucius!
The little robot quickly slid in between them.
“Boo-hoo-hoo…”
As soon as Alexio heard it crying, he knew trouble was coming. But robots stuck to their programmed routines. In the end, Alexio begrudgingly took the saint's hand, and the little robot even suggested they ‘share a tender hug.’
That was absolutely impossible!
The day ended with most of the house decorated, and the rest left for them to finish on their own. The three robots lined up to say goodbye to their two clients. The little robot stood in the middle, its screen displaying a bright smile as it bowed deeply.
“Our mission is complete!”
Then, all three robots spoke in unison with different electronic tones—
“We wish you both a happy marriage!”
The robots shut the door behind them and left. Alexio stood there, dumbfounded, staring at the closed door.
“…Huh?”