TDU Chapter 387
Chapter 387 Heaven?
My words left Xiao Sun visibly taken aback.
“Zhang jie… y-you, what are you planning to do?” he asked dazedly. “Stop this at once! You can’t throw away your whole life just for that scum!”
“Yes, I am ruining my own life, but it isn’t only now that it has begun to be destroyed.” I looked at Xiao Sun in utter despair. “So you don’t need to be involved in this. I’ll do it alone.”
“What?”
“I will stake everything I have. Even if I must pay the price, I will never regret it.”
I cannot let him simply rot in prison.
I want him dead.
Xiao Sun fell silent for a long time before forcing out a sentence from his throat. “Zhang jie, I told you before, no matter what happens, I want to face it with you. If you live in peace, then I can live in peace… if you walk the razor’s edge, then I will too—”
“Don’t be foolish!” With despair in my gaze, I shouted, “Can’t you see? I’m a monster!!”
“How are you a monster?!” Xiao Sun grew anxious. “You’re just someone struggling to survive. Zhang jie, don’t blame yourself for all that has happened.”
“You don’t understand… I am no longer who I once was. I am unworthy of love. I am a woman filthy beyond redemption!!”
Nightmarish images flashed through my mind, leaving me dizzy and reeling.
“What nonsense are you spouting!?” Xiao Sun’s eyes widened as he stared at me with earnest seriousness. “Jie, that man violated you, he’s the filthy one! He’s the one who should be despised, condemned, and punished by the law. Why should it be you? You were the victim! Since when is being a victim a crime?!”
Heh…
Yes, I am the victim.
But in this society, how many people are truly willing to accept a woman who has been raped? How many can look at such a woman without tinted lenses?
What difference does it make whether I’m the victim or not?
This is the original sin of being Zhang Laidi. No one else is to blame.
If this matter ever comes to light, my union with Xiao Sun would be met with countless strange looks, it would be unfair to him.
He is a young, promising lawyer, handsome, gentle, radiant as the sun, yet he would end up with an older woman who is vicious, brooding, and tainted by rape. Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.
If I were an onlooker, I would surely look down on him too.
He is too good. He shines too brightly.
And what am I?
I am a monster, fully matured and ice-cold inside, unmoved even by the warmth of the sun.
“Zhang jie, I know this may sound untimely… but I decided long ago that I want to walk with you through the rest of your life.” Tears welled in Xiao Sun’s eyes as he forced a wry smile. “If you choose a dangerous path, then… I’ll walk it with you.”
“Even if my life only has a short span left, you’d still stay by my side?” I asked coldly.
“Yes. If you intend to kill, then I’ll go with you,” he said firmly. “We’ll be sentenced together, and then leave this world together.”
I held his gaze for a long time before lowering my head. Why…
A helplessness hovered around me.
I wanted to kill that Butcher Ma with my own hands, but I couldn’t drag Xiao Sun down with me.
This matter had nothing to do with him. It would be unfair to involve him.
“Xiao Sun, can’t you just leave me be?” I asked. “You will never understand the life I’ve lived, so how could you walk it to the end with me?”
“Zhang jie, we’ve been together for many years. I do understand you,” Xiao Sun replied. “All you’ve ever wanted is to be treated like an ordinary person. That really isn’t asking too much. No matter what injustices you’ve suffered before, in the days to come I’ll repay you double. I’ll make sure that you—we—live this life without a single regret.”
I sat curled up, burying my head in my knees.
Why?
Some people can unleash every ounce of malice upon me without restraint, while others would risk everything just to be good to me. What kind of {balance} is this in the world…?
God, do you wish to torment me, or to save me?
Why do you build for me a fortress of hope again and again, only to let it collapse each time?
I cannot fathom it. I only know that I cannot drag Xiao Sun down with me, it would be unfair to him.
“I… won’t go.” I shook my head. “I’ll give it up. I don’t want you to be harmed.”
“Really?!” Xiao Sun looked at me with joy and surprise. “Zhang jie, you’ve come around?”
“Mhm…” I nodded with a bitter smile. “Let’s call the police.”
…
In the days that followed, I focused on recuperating in peace. All the affairs of the law firm, big and small, were handled by Mengmeng, while Xiao Sun took full charge of prosecuting Butcher Ma.
Because the evidence was irrefutable and the circumstances vile, the police quickly took action. Under cover of night, they broke down Butcher Ma’s door and arrested him on the spot.
All those photos of me stored in his phone were handed over for me to deal with. I couldn’t bear to look at them. Suppressing my disgust, I deleted them all.
Indeed, if I was willing to take the path of the law, everything could be this straightforward.
During those days, Xiao Sun busied himself tirelessly on my behalf, which pained me to watch. When I suggested paying him a lawyer’s fee, he flatly refused.
He claimed he wasn’t fighting a case, and that he was only helping a friend.
He truly is a good man, my second beacon of light in this life.
Other than Teacher Ning Wan’er, no one in this world had ever shown me kindness without expecting something in return.
He understood all my feelings, tended to all my thoughts, and treated me as if I were the one and only person in the world.
The feeling was so unreal.
I often wondered if I was truly worthy of someone so good.
Two months later, for the first time, I went to his home as his girlfriend, formally meeting Xiao Sun’s parents and younger sister.
No… I should no longer call him Xiao Sun.
He is my boyfriend, Sun Jiaqi.
Jiaqi’s parents were just as I remembered them. When they learned that I was his girlfriend, they were overjoyed and prepared a lavish table of dishes. His younger sister also took an immediate liking to me as her sister-in-law, clinging to my arm and chattering away endlessly.
As she held onto me, I felt a bit uneasy. Even after all this time, I still wasn’t used to being touched, not even by a bright and cheerful young girl.
“Don’t keep holding onto Chenze…” Jiaqi gently came to my rescue. “If you’re holding onto your sister-in-law, how is she supposed to eat?”
“I don’t care~” his sister responded coyly. “I finally have a sister-in-law! I’m going to tell her all of your embarrassing childhood stories!”
Such a family environment felt like heaven itself.
TL Note: Rant goes here ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)
