TDU Chapter 378
Chapter 378 My name is Zhang Chenze
My name is Zhang Chenze, and I distorted the truth.
I’m thirty-three years old this year and have been trying to make a living in Chengdu for ten years.
Were I to publish my experiences online, I could very well be lifted up as a role model of modern independent women. After all, a girl from a small mountain village who, through her own efforts, became one of the most renowned lawyers in Chengdu is, no matter how you look at it, someone worth learning from.
But I don’t wish to do that.
My desire is to discard all that once belonged to me, and to carve out a new beginning in this place untouched by my past. If it were possible, I would never have anything more to do with that village in the mountains.
I have my own ambitions, and my own ideals.
I want to become an outstanding person.
For that goal, I am willing to do anything.
Back when the law firm had just been founded, I couldn’t afford to rent a place, so I slept on the office sofa for three years.
Every morning at five, I would get up to tidy the office, then wash up and put on makeup in the office restroom. In the evenings, I’d make an excuse to work late, then head to a public bathhouse that charged five yuan per visit.
For three years, not a single subordinate knew I lived there.
I endured all this hardship simply because I carried a dream in my heart.
If I couldn’t become an outstanding person, I would be trapped in that mountain village forever—not just me, but my descendants too.
Yet I often wondered whether I would ever even have descendants.
If I could live my life in brilliance and splendor, that would be the best outcome possible.
My childhood was so wretched that, in terms of fairness, my future ought to hold some measure of happiness. I didn’t dare hope for a luxurious life, I only wanted to muddle through in a way that felt comfortable to me.
“Zhang jie! Zhang jie!!” Xiao Sun tapped me on the shoulder, startling me.
This young man had been working at my firm for three years, helping me resolve more than a few thorny cases. Among all the young people, he was the one I had the highest hopes for.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Why are you spacing out?” Xiao Sun chuckled. “Look! The bride’s here!”
Following the direction of his pointing finger, I saw today’s bride, Mengmeng, in a pure white wedding gown covered in sequins. Under the spotlight, she walked toward the stage step by step, arm in arm with her father.
Aside from Xiao Sun, Mengmeng was my most capable partner—we had fought side by side for six years.
Now, seeing her walking down the aisle, I truly felt happy for her.
The handsome, gentle groom strode toward Mengmeng and her father with a bouquet in hand. The guests around them clapped and cheered, offering their sincerest blessings.
But to be honest, I didn’t care for the next part.
At the emcee’s request, Mengmeng’s father was to personally place her hand into the groom’s.
Then, in front of Mengmeng, the groom, and hundreds of guests, he solemnly said to the groom, “From now on, Mengmeng will be in your care.”
Quite a few guests dabbed at the corners of their eyes, as if wiping away tears.
The emcee’s voice grew emotional: “From this day forward, this man will take the father’s place and care for you always—whether in poverty or wealth, he will never abandon you…”
On stage, Mengmeng looked at her emotional father, then at the groom, and then at the tearful crowd nearby. She turned to me, shrugged, and gave a wry smile.
I understood Mengmeng, and I knew exactly what she was implying.
Were it not for the weight of convention and tradition, for the precedent set by all her kin, she would never have permitted this segment in her wedding.
A handful of words all but negated everything Mengmeng had striven for in her life. As though without her father’s and her groom’s care, she would be no more than a helpless, mewling child—
—someone who might starve to death at home at any moment.
Why must marriage be about finding someone to rely on? Why can’t it be for love?
All these years working with me, Mengmeng had been earning at least sixty thousand yuan a month. Even without anyone ‘taking care’ of her, she could still live perfectly well.
Her efforts had been no less than mine. She was an exceptionally capable lawyer, and everything she had now was well deserved. That was only fair.
She hadn’t asked for a single cent in bride price[1], nor caused either set of parents the slightest trouble.
She and the groom had simply used the money they themselves had saved to buy a small apartment of just a few dozen square meters. Then, pooling their funds again, they bought furniture. With their combined efforts, they had officially begun the second chapter of their lives.
In the days to come, they would continue to work hard together; until they could buy better furniture, until they could live in a bigger home.
This, to me, was the finest form of love—like a perfectly balanced scale, steadfast and unshakable.
When would people finally realize that the purpose of marriage is to give love its culmination, not to provide one side with someone to lean on?
“Zhang jie! Zhang jie!!”
Xiao Sun’s bright voice rang in my ear once again.
I turned to him, snapped back to the present, and smiled. “What is it?”
“Your phone’s ringing!” he said. “It’s been going off forever!”
I glanced down at the number flashing on the screen. In an instant, all trace of joy vanished from my face, replaced by a chill as if I had plunged into an ice cellar.
“Excuse me for a moment.”
Phone in hand, I left the banquet hall. My gaze swept the area until I found a staircase exit. Only once I confirmed no one was around did I step inside and, with a heavy heart, answered the call.
“Hello.”
“Zhang Laidi*!!” Her shrill voice screeched through the speaker, making my brows knit tightly together.
(TLN: 莱娣 (lái dì), this is an awful name usually given to daughters of highly son-preference families. It literally translates to ‘come younger brother’, as the parents want their next child to be a male. This son-preference behavior may be seen in very rural areas of China, in small villages cut off from society.)
“Mom, my name is Zhang Chenze now.”
“So ya still remember your damn surname is Zhang?!” she yelled through the phone. "Why ain’t ya answerin’ my calls?! Why didn’t ya pick up yesterday?!"
“I was busy,” I replied.
"Busy? Busy my ass! But ya ain’t stupid, ya know how to put yer strength inta takin’ a shit," she cursed. "Ever’body envies the Zhang family fer being blessed with both son and daughter, but they don’t know you, ya useless brat—can’t even fork over twenty thousand!"
Heh, blessed with both son and daughter?
In the village where I grew up, those with sons looked to them for support in old age, while only those with daughters longed to be ‘blessed with both son and daughter’.
How ironic.
“Mom, I don’t understand,” I remarked coldly. “When Chengcai gets married, I can give him a big red envelope, but why do I have to give him two hundred thousand?”
“You’ve got money!” she shouted. "You make more’n Chengcai does, and you’re his big sister! Yer own baby brother’s fixin’ to get married, what’s so wrong with you buyin’ him a house?"
“I don’t understand how you can see this as something that goes without saying,” I sneered. “The money I earn is mine, what does it have to do with him? Since childhood, you’ve given him the best food and clothing, more education than me—he should be able to earn his own money by now.”
"Chengcai still ain’t found hisself no good job! Dammit…” Her tone grew even sharper. "You really fixin’ to nickel-and-dime yer own brother?"
“Mom, I’ll be straight with you. I’m expanding the firm, all my savings are tied up, and I don’t have anything to give.”
TL Note: In comparison to Zhang Chenze’s crude given name, her younger brother’s name (chéng cái; 成材) means ‘to make something of oneself’ or ‘to become a person who is worthy of respect’. The irony
Footnote:
[1] Bride price (彩礼) - Many people confuse this with ‘dowry’, which is the wealth a woman brings to her husband as a part of the marriage. The dowry is usually provided by the woman’s family at the time of the marriage; the idea behind the dowry is to aid the beginning of the new household, aiding the new husband in the provision for his wife. While the bride price is a specific price (property, money, etc.) paid by the bridegroom (or his family) to the bride’s parents. The custom serves multiple social functions: it acts as a test of the groom’s financial capability and commitment, a form of insurance for the bride in case of divorce or abandonment, and a way to establish goodwill between families. Unfortunately, the this concept gets taken advantage of, while this money should be handed to the bride, many selfish parents will keep it for themselves.
