SLLBTT Chapter 5
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
⋇⊶⊰Chapter 5⊱⊷⋇
Regarding the matter of attending court...
Although it was already the modern era, the Northern Kingdom still strictly adhered to ancient customs.
Of course, it also depended on the personal preferences of the monarch.
For instance, the previous king couldn't get up in the morning, so court sessions involved holographic projections. In the past, court officials only needed to have a secretary write a speech, but now, secretaries had to help with making PowerPoint presentations.
Fortunately, the current king disliked ppts and preferred "one-sentence briefings." If he saw an issue, only then would he permit the court officials to speak. In the past, the court officials found it bothersome when they had to give presentations. Now, with fewer opportunities to speak, the court officials fear losing their presence. Consequently, many bizarre "one-sentence briefings" were born— "Shocking! This year's crop yield in Liangtian County is unexpectedly..." "Even giant prawns are envious as the northern regions welcome their strongest harvest!" "WHAT? THIS STATE OFFICIAL ACTUALLY WORKS LIKE THIS?"
The Snow Wolf King browsed through these shocking headlines, his expression surprisingly composed.
After a few questions, the morning court dispersed.
The Snow Wolf King returned to his study for electronic office work. The system recorded how many memorials the Snow Wolf King approved, how many briefings he read, how long he used the surveillance footage for "electronic private visits," and so on, all accounted for in office minutes. Achievements like "Keeping Vigil Day and Night," "Untiring Effort," "Handling Thousand Affairs Daily," "Grasping Hair and Spitting Food," and "Enduring Hardship and Tasting Bitterness" could be obtained upon reaching a certain level. Conversely, if the king failed to clock in regularly or complete tasks, he would face accusations from the Censorate. For this reason, the previous king even hired someone to play in his stead, which became one of the reasons for his impeachment.
Newly in office, the Snow Wolf King devoted himself to task completion, only taking a break for rest and a meal around noon.
Hong Huli asked with a sly smile, "Great King, um... was Liu Jiao's service satisfactory last night?"
The Snow Wolf King frowned. "Do I need to answer such private questions?"
Hong Huli replied, "Yes, it needs to be recorded. Please log in to the office system, go to the 'Harem' menu, and select 'Crimson Chronicles.' Previously, this was the responsibility of specialized chamberlains, but the twelfth generation king complained to the court about privacy infringement, so now kings fill it out themselves."
The Snow Wolf King hesitantly said, "Alright."
"Hmm, the first section, duration..." The Snow Wolf King thought he couldn't lose, so he reluctantly entered an unreasonable number. "Satisfaction rating, A, very satisfied... Any rewards? Hmm..." The Snow Wolf King looked up and asked Hong Huli, "What would be an appropriate reward?"
Hong Huli replied, "The simplest is to grant a meal. Since it's precisely lunchtime, just look at the table and choose something delicious to be sent over."
The Snow Wolf King pointed to a plate of chicken legs and said, "Then, send this."
As he was about to fill in "chicken legs" in the "reward" section, the Snow Wolf King felt it lacked dignity. After a moment's thought, he entered "Royal Feast."
Hong Huli continued, "May I ask if you want to bestow a title upon the snow leopard?"
The Snow Wolf King pondered and said, "Let's grant the title Beautiful Lady."
And so, while nibbling on the chicken legs, Liu Jiao was bestowed the title of Beautiful Lady.
When this news reached the snow leopard tribe, Liu Ming was particularly delighted. "Our tribe is saved!"
Other tribes were especially envious, putting in extra effort to select beautiful and charming demons to send to the Wolf Palace.
Lanmao and Hong Huli both persistently urged the Snow Wolf King to sacrifice himself for the kingdom.
The Snow Wolf King mused, "But there are so many demons. I can't sacrifice for them all."
Hong Huli said, "Then choose the best and keep them. If none are kept, it might have a negative impact."
The Snow Wolf King pondered. "You have a point. Let's conduct assessments."
"Assessments?" Hong Huli was puzzled. "How do we assess them?"
"As everyone knows, the fairest assessment method is to give them an exam."
A group of demons, as beautiful as flowers, couldn't believe they had to take exams on Chinese, Mathematics, and English just to enter the palace!
And it was academic English!
The demons exclaimed, "Oh my, does His Majesty really has a thing for this?"
While the demons were scratching their heads over the questions, the Snow Leopard Beauty was busy enjoying a chicken leg.
The attendant accompanying Liu Jiao was named Ah Ye, who had been with Liu Jiao for many years. Watching him carefreely munch on a chicken leg while playing games, he couldn't contain his frustration, "Do you know how many beautiful fairies came to the palace today?"
Liu Jiao paused and asked, "What do you mean?"
Ah Ye shook Liu Jiao's shoulders and said, "Your position is not secure!"
Liu Jiao thought for a moment, then asked, "What should I do then?"
"You... you should go show your face to His Majesty!"
After some thought, Liu Jiao lowered his head again, pressed a button, and said, "Okay, I'll go after finishing this round."
"......" Can my master really win favor?
Translator's Notes: about Grasping Hair and Spitting Food: I don't know the English equivalent so I'm just going to paste the origin of the phrase.
The Duke of Zhou said, " [...] Yet each time I bathe, I am called away three times, wringing out my hair in haste; each time I dine, I rush off three times, spitting out my food in haste, in order to wait upon some gentleman. I do so because I am always fearful that I may otherwise fail to gain the service of a worthy man."