Translated by Serena Love (ko-fi)

Edited by Choko (ko-fi) and Pure (ko-fi)

Chapter 12: Playing Self Pity

When Lin Xiaocha realized that Han Yu was awake, she rolled on the bed and rubbed her eyes as if she had just woken up. She then sat herself up and asked, with drowsy eyes, "Is this your room? Why am I here?"

She woke up in a man’s room but instead of panicking, she seemed surprisingly composed; her expression betraying no hint of alarm, observed Han Yu.

It's probably not because she was promiscuous, but rather because she was oblivious to the potential consequences or dangers that might arise from her present situation.

If she was to ever get kidnapped, she’d help the kidnappers count the ransom money just to be nice and save them time. She obviously lacks awareness, and is always oblivious to the situations she ever gets in. 

It's just like when she blamed him because he was a little cold towards her at that burial ground.

"Did I drink too much last night?"Lin Xiaocha asked hesitantly, observing Han Yu’s silence as he calmly sat up, then walked to the table to pour himself a cup of tea.

However, Han Yu simply gazed at the overnight tea inside the cup and answered her question with silence once again.

So, Lin Xiaocha didn't speak anymore, and an awkward atmosphere settled between them.

Finally, he put the teacup down and asked in a soft voice, "Do you have a brother?"

Lin Xiaocha’s eyes widened in surprise, but soon understanding dawned upon her. Nervously clutching the fabric of her skirt, she stammered, "Did I treat you like my brother last night?"

Han Yu's face was as cold as ever.

Even if they were brother and sister, it would not be appropriate for them to hug and be intimate like last night. After all, she looked fifteen or sixteen years old.

Lin Xiaocha held her dress tightly, "My brother passed away when I was five years old..."

Han Yu was taken aback for a moment.

Lin Xiaocha seemed to return to the fond memories she had of her brother, and her eyes had a sweet and gentle look in them. "My brother always protected me and treated me the best when I was younger... Father always said that I followed him like a tail..."

These anecdotes were all true. However, it was not her personal experience, but Lin Wu's.

She didn’t feel bad for using the original female lead’s dead brother to get to Han Yu. After all, a green tea who can't pretend to be pitiful is not qualified to be called one.

As she talked about her brother, tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. She sobbed softly, her voice barely audible.

But she quickly stopped crying, and wiped her face with the back of her hand.

"Did you bring me back?" She asked Han Yu with red eyes, wanting to change the topic.

Han Yu brought the teacup back to his lips, and just stared at her with semi-closed eyes, his eyelashes casting a shadow on his face.

He didn't say a word, but his body language conveyed an unmistakable acquiescence.

"Why?"

"Feng Ziying has some thoughts about you." He finally stated.

"Thoughts? I am a refugee, what sort of thoughts could he possibly have for me?" Lin Xiaocha perplexedly asked.

Han Yu: ...

After a while, he said, "He wants you to be his concubine."

Lin Xiaocha's face suddenly turned pale, and she shrank back in fear, "So you actually saved me yesterday?"

Han Yu finished his tea, and continued, "Whether you are willing to be with him or not, that decision should be made when you are sober."

After he finished speaking, Lin Xiaocha remained quiet for a while.

Han Yu's eyes lightened a bit, it seemed as if he was very interested in what was going on inside the girl’s head.

After a long time, Lin Xiaocha whispered, "Since when did I have a choice?"

Her tone felt helpless.

Han Yu saw tears glistening once more in her eyes as she stared blankly into the void.. Her gaze seemed haggard, devoid of focus.

She resembled a piece of driftwood, helplessly tossed in every direction by the mighty waves of the ocean.

"In this place, if the City Lord says I can live, then I will live. Should he pronounce my demise, then I will die. You saved me last night, but once you leave, how will I be able to refuse his advances?"

Han Yu knows that her reasoning was accurate. And, considering that she mistook him for her brother last night, It’s clear that she is subconsciously looking for someone to rely on.

"I'll take you out of Dongling City."

Lin Xiaocha’s heart filled with delight upon hearing those words, as she had been eagerly waiting for this moment.

In contrast, her face had a hesitant look on it as her small hands held her skirt tightly.

Nonetheless, she seemed to have quickly made up her mind. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and cautiously said, "Thank you, Xianjun, I am sorry to trouble you."

Finally, she was willing to call him "Xianjun" again instead of calling him "you."

Han Yu glanced at her and said, "Go wash yourself and change clothes."

He was a very tidy person because his five senses were hypersensitive. He made an effort to endure the wine’s smell on her during their walk last night, but he couldn’t take it anymore.

Oblivious to his discomfort, Lin Xiaocha did not leave immediately. Instead, she made his messy bed and neatly folded the quilt.

"Xianjun, I need to attend to something before we leave; I promise to return shortly. Will you wait for me?"

He simply nodded in agreement. The details of where she planned to go or what would happen there didn't matter to him.

Until he overheard that she went to General Zuo with a token.

Unexpectedly, during the short interaction she had with the General when they got out of the burial ground, he gave her his identity token so that she could pass through the city.

She actually asked him to wait for her while she went to meet another man.

He banged his fresh cup of tea on the table, then turned around and returned to recline on his long chair.

After a short time, he heard the sound of her footsteps , coming towards his chambers with the general.

General Zuo didn't say a word, and his breathing sounded dull.

Lin Xiaocha was also very quiet.

Finally, General Zuo couldn't help it and said, "Xiaocha girl, must you go?"

"What's the matter, General?"

The two people walking side by side fell into silence again.

General Zuo broke the silence first, "I..."

Lin Xiaocha let out an "um?" to show that she was listening carefully.

General Zuo blushed, and was heaving for the first time in his life.

"Truthfully, the outside world is not much better than Dongling City. I heard it’s very hot in summer." He gripped the hilt of his sword with his cocooned hand and finally squeezed out some words.

"Really?" Xiaocha looked at the gray sky, "but I am more afraid of winter."

In the past, her family was reluctant to turn on the heater in order to save on electricity. Every time winter came, she was so cold and was afraid to take baths. When she was a child, she was always full of frostbite every time after taking a bath.

Seeing that General Zuo was not speaking, she smiled and said, "With someone like you, General, in Dongling City, I know the city will only get better with time."

General Zuo blushed and scratched his head, " Many people in the city like you very much."

"Really?"

"I, I..." he waited for the guards who were on patrol to pass by, then he stopped walking; Lin Xiaocha also stopped.

"General, what's the matter?"

His face flushed, and the palm of his hand that was holding a sword was all sweaty. "I actually like you quite a lot..."

At this time, Han Yu slowly opened his eyes.

"Really?" Lin Xiaocha smiled, and her eyes were bent, "I also like the General very much!"

Han Yu frowned, and his eyelashes trembled. However, it only lasted a few seconds before he closed his eyes again. And soon enough his brows were peacefully stretched out.

What she does has nothing to do with me.

He liked to be alone anyway. So, if she decided to stay in Dongling City because of the General’s confession, he would be more at ease.

On the other side, General Zuo's brain was melting, "Really, really?"

Lin Xiaocha nodded earnestly, "I used to have an older brother who was like the General. I liked him the most when I was a kid."

General Zuo: "Ah ......"

In order to alleviate the embarrassment, he scratched his head and said in a small voice, "So it was like this."

"Can I call you brother?" Lin Xiaocha looked at him expectantly.

"This, this... Of course, you can." After he agreed, he drooped his head and sighed, rubbing his palms on his clothes.

Han Yu, who closed his eyes: ...

It seems that he had been thinking too much. She doesn’t understand anything about relationships between men and women.

But if she didn't have that kind of meaning, why did she call General Zuo to her room?

Han Yu, soon, got the answer to his question.

Lin Xiaocha didn't let General Zuo enter her room but went in to wrap everything she received from the Lord in a piece of cloth.

"Brother General, please help me exchange these things for winter clothes and distribute them to the refugees. I can only be certain they will receive the clothes, if Brother General is the one in charge of the task..."

General Zuo looked at her in surprise. He knew any refugee who suffered from poverty would kill if they could get their hands on these gifts.

In fact, Lin Xiaocha is no exception. She loves money very much and can't wait to take everything she can from this world back to her reality with her.

But the true identity  of the body she is occupying does not belong to a refugee girl but to Lin Wu, the daughter of the City Lord of Banxia City. As soon as she returns to Banxia City, ​​these things won’t have any value for her since she’ll be able to get much more if she desires it.

Moreover, Feng Ziying himself tried to take advantage of her infront of Han Yu. If she still kept the things he sent, it would lower her image in the male protagonist's heart.

It's better to give these things to the refugees, take a wave of favorability points, and consolidate her simple and kind little white lotus image.

Lin Xiaocha added, "These are the things from the City Lord, but we can't pretend to be the City Lord and donate in his name. Therefore, please clearly announce that these were rewards given to me by the City Lord. I was just ‘borrowing flowers to offer to Buddha[1]’. This way, the City Lord will not make things difficult for you, General."

General Zuo has a straightforward character, so if anyone were to ask about who donated these rewards, he will naturally not take credit and will truthfully answer that it was Lin Xiaocha.

General Zuo looked at her, "Xiaocha, you are really kind-hearted."

Han Yu's eyes gradually softened, and he went back to sleep.

Soon, Lin Xiaocha came inside the room radiating with joy.

Seeing Han Yu resting with closed eyes,she shut the door gently. She sat on the stool and waited for him without saying a word.

Obviously it was hard to peacefully sleep with someone else just sitting and staring at you, so Han Yu slowly opened his eyes.

"Xianjun, did I wake you up?"

He sat up without answering. He looked at the girl, sitting in front of him with a bright face. Her gentle brows could not hide her joy.

"Xianjun, shouldn't you ask me why I am so happy?"

The little girl finally couldn't hold her words back anymore.

"You tell me." Han Yu's faint tone was gentle.

Lin Xiaocha was really not a good person, so she never considered doing good deeds anonymously. Nor was she like those heroines who allowed themselves to be abused in the literary works, and helplessly let all the credit for their good deeds go to the female supporting characters.

To her, there was no point in being philanthropic if she could not profit from it.

Lin Xiaocha sat down, "I asked General Zuo to exchange the things from the city lord for winter clothes and distribute them to the refugees."

She moved a bit closer to him, her clear eyes shining brightly.

"Then?"

"Xianjun, shouldn't you praise me?"

"Goodness that you want people to know; It is not true goodness." He said sternly, but his eyes were very soft.

Lin Xiaocha blushed when he said that. She pursed her lips and muttered in a low voice, "I am not the same as Xianjun. I don't have such a high level of consciousness."

Han Yu stood up and turned his back to her.

Such an innocent girl, she was not a scheming person.

He moved his gaze back to her face, "That night, it was my fault."

—

Footnotes:

[1] ‘borrowing flowers to offer to Buddha’ is an idiom. It means to win favor or influence using somebody else's property.

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