Real Missy Relies on Food to Counterattack Chapter 13
Translated by Serena Love
TLCed by Pure
Edited by Azure and lullaby
Chapter 13: Acting As a Fox Spirit
Is there anything more frustrating than a pepper shell stuck in your throat?
Yes: half a pepper shell stuck in your throat.
When half of the pepper shell is buckled upside down at the base of the tongue, it sticks tightly like a squid tentacle. While not quite as painful as a fishbone stuck in the throat, it remained as a reminder of the existence of a foreign object.
It's like wanting to sneeze but not being able to let it out. It's maddening, but you are helpless.
When the netizens learned that Tang Qiaoqiao was choking on a pepper shell, the barrage in the live broadcast room was silent for a few seconds, followed by a lively "hahahahaha" flashing past the screen.
【Haha. An epic fail during Tang Qiaoqiao's first live broadcast. The reason for the failure is also so hilarious】
【I feel the same way. I have to say that once a pepper shell was stuck in my throat for a month】
【Qiaoqiao, listen to me. Hurry up and swallow a big mouthful of rice. Swallow it】
【It's useless. A peppercorn shell is too small. Qiaoqiao, try my method and say "Hei Tu" out loud to make your throat vibrate. The method is effective】
【If it doesn't work, go to the hospital. After a long time, you may get inflammation (I swear I didn't laugh hahaha)】
Tang Qiaoqiao read the barrage and frowned. After that, the netizens saw her swallowing rice for a while, drinking water for a while, then tossing up and down, but the peppercorn shells still did not go down. On the contrary, her small face was flushed, her eyes were red, and her teardrops rolled down her face, which made her look especially pitiful.
Tang Qiaoqiao wanted to cry, but her tear ducts were already dry. "Is there any other way?"
She wanted to broadcast her cooking for the first time and leave fans with a beautiful image of a lady. Why did it turn out like this? What made her even more gloomy was that immediately after, the live broadcast displayed:
【Xiaoxiao rewarded a gold coin】
【The lazy lamb rewarded a handful of fireworks】
【Lanka who wanted to eat Qiaoqiao's dishes rewarded 50 love hearts】
Tang Qiaoqiao: '... Netizens are really poisonous.'
Lanka joined in as soon as Tang Qiaoqiao started the live broadcast. She wanted to watch Tang Qiaoqiao cook and serve food, but she didn't expect to witness the whole process of Tang Qiaoqiao's epic fail.
While donating to Tang Qiaoqiao, she quickly clipped the video and posted it on Weibo: 【"Go and watch Tang Qiaoqiao's live broadcast. I am almost laughing to death. Tang Qiaoqiao is performing a hundred ways to take peppercorn shells out of her throat. I think my bias is a silly female artist."】
As soon as Lanka's Weibo was posted, Tang Qiaoqiao's live broadcast room suddenly flooded with a large number of netizens. The number of viewers rose from a few hundred at the beginning to several thousand, and it continued to rise.
【I'm here, has Qiaoqiao taken out the pepper shells yet?】
【Sightseeing tourist checking-in】
【Look! Tang Qiaoqiao getting a peppercorn shell stuck in her throat is on the hot search.】
【Laughing and crying. My idol has strange headline skills】
'It's over. Everyone’s laughing.'
Tang Qiaoqiao didn't dare check the hot searches on Weibo. Her image as the cute and charming girl she had worked so hard to maintain had completely collapsed by then.
"What are you doing?"
Just as Tang Qiaoqiao sighed, Shen Yue rolled over in his wheelchair and stopped at the kitchen door.
Fortunately, his voice wasn’t loud enough to be captured by the phone.
Tang Qiaoqiao said curtly to the live broadcast room, 'I’m going to look up how to remove the pepper shells, so the broadcast ends here today, bye." After speaking, she hung up the live broadcast in a hurry.
Shen Yue slid his wheelchair closer again while frowning. "Why is dinner still not ready after so long?"
Tang Qiaoqiao wrinkled her eyebrows. "A peppercorn shell got stuck in my throat."
"So stupid." Shen Yue sighed.
Tang Qiaoqiao felt aggrieved. “It was an accident. Even if you’ve never had a peppercorn shell stuck in your throat, you must have had a fishbone once or twice, right?”
"No, I never eat fish with bones."
"A fish without a bone lacks a soul."
"I only know that a fish without a bone is expensive."
Tang Qiaoqiao: So angry.
Shen Yue: "You won't die. Just cook."
Tang Qiaoqiao said angrily, "I'm not in the mood to cook right now. I just made braised beef, but I originally wanted to make spicy shrimp."
'Spicy shrimp?'
Shen Yue's movement of rolling his wheelchair stopped. He stared silently at the woman in front of him.
"Open your mouth, let me take a look." Tang Qiaoqiao immediately squatted down in front of Shen Yue, raised her head, and then opened her mouth wide. "Ah!"
Shen Yue looked at her being obedient. He paused for a few seconds and slid the wheelchair towards her.
The woman closed her eyes tightly, her long eyelashes trembling slightly.
In fact, he couldn’t see anything at all. In her throat, all he could make out was her small pink tongue and tiny, pointed tiger teeth.
And the sweet peach scent on her body.
Tang Qiaoqiao didn't know what was wrong, but when the man's breath suddenly got so close, she felt a little hot on her face.
Aunt Wang saw that it was past seven o'clock, but Tang Qiaoqiao hadn’t finished cooking yet, so she thought that she might need some help. As soon as she approached the kitchen door, she saw Shen Yue's wheelchair.
The Master actually got down by himself and went to the kitchen!
From Aunt Wang’s perspective, Shen Yue was facing the other direction with someone squatting in front of him—undoubtedly his wife.
'What are they doing?'
Tang Qiaoqiao's face was completely blocked by her husband, and her head swayed from side to side.
Aunt Wang's face flushed. She didn't expect that Master and Madam would have this kind of fun in the kitchen during the day.
She slowed down while smiling, quietly turned around and left. She shouldn’t disturb the young couple expressing their love.
Tang Qiaoqiao waited for a long time with her eyes closed, but there was no movement. She asked, "Did you see it? Just a little bit above the throat."
"No." Shen Yue suddenly sat upright, and his wheelchair also slid back.
Tang Qiaoqiao had put her hands on his wheelchair, but when he retreated suddenly, her whole body was unsteady, and she fell to the ground.
The charming atmosphere disappeared without a trace.
Tang Qiaoqiao complained, "If you didn't see it, you didn't see it. Why did you suddenly retreat."
"Your breath is stinky."
"Nonsense, fairies' breath doesn’t stink!" Tang Qiaoqiao almost jumped with anger. "Oh! Wait a minute."
"Cough cough cough..." She coughed for a while, then cheered and said, "It went down! The pepper shell is swallowed."
Shen Yue's mouth twitched slightly. "It's all thanks to me, but you don't need to say thanks. Just add another fish dish without a single fishbone."
"I see that you also have a shameless side."
Finally, Tang Qiaoqiao gave in and made a fish ball soup in addition to the spicy shrimp. The fish was pounded until it was incredibly delicate. The taste was smooth and tender. Of course, most of the fishball soup entered Shen Yue's stomach.
---
"I have an acting role?"
Tang Qiaoqiao was inexplicably excited after learning that she had received a script. The original owner had not acted in a movie since her debut.
Brother Qian also couldn't hide his excitement. Tang Qiaoqiao had stayed in his hands for two years, and everyone thought she was a waste. Until now, when her live broadcast of a pepper shell stuck on her throat became a hot search, more offers have been handed over to him.
"Although they are just guest appearances in online dramas, this is the starting point for your acting career. In the future, you will have to make big hit dramas, become the best actress, and claim the title of Film Queen."
Brother Qian was boasting again.
Tang Qiaoqiao: "I haven't given much thought to being a queen. As long as everyone likes me, it's enough."
"Yes, that's what you should say to reporters in interviews in the future. You are very good." Brother Qian nodded in satisfaction. He had never found Tang Qiaoqiao so insightful before.
After Tang Qiaoqiao and Brother Qian discussed the date to join the filming group, Tang Qiaoqiao rushed to tell Shen Yue the good news. "I have a movie. I'm an actress now."
"What kind of drama?"
"What's it called... "The Evil Demon Lord's Three Generations of Love"? It's a xianxia drama. I may be acting as a cultivator or at least a monk." Therefore, she could play in her natural element.
Shen Yue left her without telling her his thoughts. Just by the name of the show, he knew what sort of shitstorm it would be. What kind of good role could this type of bad show have?
---
"I'm acting as a fox spirit?"
Tang Qiaoqiao was amazed. Fox spirits were the most infamous type of yaoguai in her original world. They exclusively relied on absorbing the essence of others, so everyone was entitled to kill them.
[T/N: Yaoguai (妖怪) are a class of creatures in Chinese mythology, folk tales, and literature that are defined by their supernatural abilities. A popular translation for them in Western texts is "demon". They are described as possessing powers beyond the ordinary, such as shapeshifting, enchantment, creating illusions, hypnosis, controlling minds, causing disease, clairvoyance, and draining life force. Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yaoguai]
The producer explained, "Because we found that you have a special sexy charm. You are very suitable for this role."
"Well, then hurry up and put on my makeup." She was willing to play a "sexy and charming" fox spirit.
Tang Qiaoqiao played the eighth sister of the female lead of the so-called drama "The Evil Demon Lord's Three Generations of Love," which took place in the demon world.
The eighth sister acted as a tool to promote the emotional development of the male and female protagonists. Whenever they encountered difficulties, she would jump out to assist them.
In the first shot, the female lead danced for the male lead. All other members of the fox demon family were onlookers.
The female lead wore a dress full of warm-yellow feathers. She waved her left hand and her right hand, jumping like a big flapping moth.
Tang Qiaoqiao really admired the male lead. He could still show obsessive eyes.
'Life as an actor is not easy.'
Tang Qiaoqiao was near the door. She saw that everyone's eyes were focused on the female lead, so she set her gaze on the dinner plate in front of her.
After a bite of roasted chicken legs, she noticed it was a bit overcooked and woody. The eggplant plate was a bit greasy, but the cucumbers weren’t bad, and the purple grapes were quite sweet.
Tang Qiaoqiao took one bite, looked up, and took another bite, but she didn't know that a camera had been aimed at her.
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