TPPYNG Chapter 2
Translated by Novice Translations
Executive Summary: Emperor, princess, Regent or Yong Zheng1, Xiaodie, Nian Geng Yao…This one’s young body had a harmonious relationship?
Chapter 2:Enter the Brothel, Ben Gong will Punish Your Nine Generations
The Regent was the villain of the era and always opposed the imperial power which represented a scoundrel that bullied the emperor, controlled the government and seduced the empress dowager and even the princesses and princes.
Look, at this moment, the Shang Dynasty fully reflects the Regent’s sinister intentions to take control of the government and single-handedly cover the sky.
Just a few days before founding the country, the Regent was shameless and sat across her highness the princess and the distance didn’t exceed 3 meters. In addition, her highness the princess, since you are “governing from behind the curtain”, would it trouble you to have a curtain screen? Sitting as the head of military and civil affairs, the Regent functioned as a rival, granted that her eyes and eyebrows come and go3, was this completely necessary? They both sat on a flight of steps4 to advance forward, ah, it didn’t matter if they sat in a standing crowd, did they have to display their superiority in a heap?
After a couple of months, the Regent suddenly had a thought to permit a chancellor to move their seat on top of the small wooden bench. And furthermore said, “to allow a chancellor of long standing that easily fall ill” to buy the people’s hearts. In fact, you just want to find a suitable justification to try and force the princess back to the emperor? In this way, the hypocrite underneath the crowd discussed crafty plots and machinations fearlessly where the princess could hear!
Also, don’t be so hypocritical to feign consultation towards the will of the emperor, how can this affair be decided by the Regent?
Now, a memorial was presented to the emperor for approval, “…thus, this minister believes this should be considered and requests Your Majesty’s approval.”
Over there, the emperor was deadly earnest to endorse the request, “En, Uncle Huang persuaded zhen5 to permit this request.”
Come on, does this foolish emperor know what they are talking about, what the hell is that? Treacherous court official, can you not set an example and don’t bully people again?
While the emperor repeatedly dozed off, Regent can you not always be so obvious in your tendency to kidnap? What the hell is this, “Your Majesty, for a while I insist to invite you to dine at this official’s residence, my cook’s pear blossom candies will satisfy!” Could it be that kind of thing, doesn’t it feel insulting to listen to? This is the imperial court, not your Wang Ye Fu’s6 dining hall!
Speaking of this matter, even her highness the princess wants to vomit blood: “Jie7, you once led a magnificent army with thousands of men and horses against the domestic and foreign resistance! At that time, you once wore women’s clothing and fascinated Ben Gong to the point of being disoriented and confused, where did that beautiful well-mannered woman went? You were a gentle, soft and virtuous (?) military counselor jie jie, ah! Don’t look righteous while clearly stating that you want to kidnap children? This will make Ben Gong think that those days were mentally deficient tricks to obtain and cheat an ignorant maiden, ah hey!”
Moreover, to be 99 flights of steps8 apart, her highness, Regent, don’t you think your voice is awfully small for several hundred civil and military chancellors to not be able to hear! As if nothing had happened, she continued to discuss official business brazenly with us ministers, how can this be endured!
Besides monopolizing the imperial court, the Regent’s origins depended on the long-time princess in which the civil and military officials were both envious and regretful.
The entire country knows all the Regent’s activities with the long-time princess as her gigolo. She casually goes to Changle Palace in Shufang palace hall to sleep with the princess. The next day, in the right and self-confident, she gladly and diligently returns fully dressed to the imperial court directly from Changle Palace. As if to shout her refreshing and crisp mood.
There were thirty-two people and a young lady who seemed to announce to the entire world, “they were both deeply in love with each other”, the princess was admired by the people in the capital but permitted this mad foolish young talented person, how could this be endured? How could the good-looking young ladies survive when her highness, the regent sounded her corrupt joy by her wholehearted desire of the red apricot tree that leans over the garden wall9? How could those girls and widows who coincidentally encountered her highness the regent, continue their schemes of climbing to usurp the throne and become the mother of the country? Is there any justice?
The former distinguished and accomplished, refined, elegant and out of the ordinary military counselor became her highness the incumbent Regent, at one point the gigolo wasn’t aware. She seemed to have usurped the country as some loyal officials desire to say, she seemed to have a good temper, but was outwardly kind but inwardly evil and extremely squeezed the officials from top to bottom.
Well, the authority to overturn the land under the heavens belonged to the Regent as long as she didn't marry a wife and didn’t lay eggs, so long as her highness the princess kept her as her gigolo and didn't get married and have offspring. As a result, the imperial court silently cursed the female chicken that crows at daybreak10, the young scholars gathered and were anxious of the royal family’s changes, the long-time royalists were oddly silent. The rest of the officials, big and small, watched how the world’s first gossip played out in court, while holding a glass of wine and cracking melon seeds.
Emperor, princess, Regent.
Wow, ah, look at how exciting and fascinating the title is! Don’t take the title to guide yourself to create all kinds of combinations! Even the Regent said that this title was similar to <Yong Zheng, Xiaodie, Nian Geng Yao>, it was wonderful as it played different tunes with equal skill11. Although the imperial court from top to bottom didn’t know who the hell Yong Zheng, Xiaodie, Nian Geng Yao were.
Well, now her highness the princess along with the Regent, evenly split the military authority between them. If they get along well and don’t quarrel, they won’t be able to stage a coup d'état, ah, is there a conspiracy to seize power on this program?
The “intellect” of the three cabinet ministers and six key assistance ministers were dejected and they arrived at the conclusion that the government was calm and collected. First there’s a clear line: Her Highness the princess clearly gave her big life for the purpose of Jiang Shan country! Her highness the princess used her beautiful figure in all kinds of ways to successfully calculate against the Regent by working on top of the bed – of course, it’s understandable that this pretext was concealed from the outside world at this moment in time – as the working Regent simply has an heir, there were sons who have usurped power and died, usurpers who have usurped power from the land under heaven and led to all kinds of peace and prosperity.
With a clear line it’s only natural that there exists a dark line! The dark line is that her highness the princess who fully used her beautiful figure to calculate since now has never before been married and no matter how much authority the princess has, if she gets married later on, would the imperial power still reside with her descendants or returned to the emperor’s descendants?
What the hell is this, the emperor’s son in law, the gigolo is entirely floating in the clouds. People can seize the land under the heaven by means of the long-time princess by steps!
There is someone!
Cough, the three cabinet ministers and six ministries froze like chicken and then took a moment to swallow their saliva then continued.
The eyes of the masses were bright as snow. Last time, the Regent disappeared together with the prime minister to drink at the Cuihua building to celebrate the 40th birthday of the outstanding official from the Minister of War. Half an hour later, the Regent entered the capital and soon afterwards the chicken flew and the dog jumped12. The ministers who were guests and present at the scene were alarmed and believed that some people conspired to rebel. Even more so when the distinguished assistant minister who was intoxicated took off his robe and took out a sword to shout his loyalty towards his country.
At this moment, a group of big imperial bodyguards arrived and her royal highness the princess foot trampled the distinguished and accomplished assistant minister and left a distinct shoe print on the face of the minister whom deeply admired her. It is said that after the incident, the assistant minister didn’t wash his face for five days and was unexpectedly sent away to serve a penal sentence by the Regent to Lingnan.
Her highness the princess, of course, sneered and reprimanded the misconduct of the official for violating the royal decree by openly entering the brothel, her inappropriate manner caused her to forfeit her salary until March. At last, she left with a vicious sentence towards the Regent: “Enter the brothel and Ben Gong will punish your nine generations!”
It is said that the Regent had a deathly pale face and followed the princess back outside the city, as others stood in a circle and watched, she received an imperial edict as if she been caught in the act of adultery (?). The 100,000 army at long last was relieved that the entire way back they would show off their military strength.
Her highness the princess was quite pleased to threaten the Regent and simultaneously threaten some opposing outstanding founding ministers’ status and they began to stir in their glazed hearts.
After that day, her highness the Regent firmly ordered: “There is no sale, exchange, or transfer of washboards within the imperial city, otherwise it will be a punishable crime!” Although her highness the princess revoked the order the next day. However, it was awfully clear that among the common people in the land, they comprehended a drop of the secret.
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Footnotes:
Yong Zheng – the name of the Qing Emperor (1722-1735) & Xiaodie is his consort; there’s a drama adaption of this.
Nian Geng Yao – a historical person that helped Yong Zheng get his throne but was later betrayed by that emperor and convicted of treason. Title has a historical meaning that’s difficult to grasp.
Eyes and eyebrows come and go (idiom) – to make eyes/to exchange flirting glances with
Flight of steps (fig) a means of advancement; stepping stone
Zhen – how an emperor refers to himself in a sentence
Wang Ye = prince/marquis/noblemen; Fu – official residence
Jie – sister
Flight of steps – a means of advancement; stepping stone
The red apricot tree leans over the garden wall (idiom) a wife having an illicit lover
The female chicken that crows at daybreak (idiom) a woman usurps authority; women meddle in politics; the female wears the trousers
Different tunes played with equal skill (idiom) different methods leading to the same result; different approach but equally satisfactory outcome
Chicken flying dog jumping (idiom) The chicken is too scared to fly and the dog is too scared to get away; describes the panic that became a mess.
TL Note: Not going to lie, I really do enjoy this story that’s why there’s early releases BUT I am not the best person to do this series. I don’t have enough experience in ancient china hierarchy and feel that my work result is unsatisfactory…
Even though this is much shorter than Don’t Be Jealous, I Will Bend Myself, the difficulty is actually higher than Lovable Beauty, which I had to drop from 2x to 1x per week due to the difficulty level. In order to complete this series, I might have to change the schedule releases from 3x to a much lower rate.
I don’t really like fan translating something that isn’t accurate per the author’s intent. I’ll try my best and see if my skill improves! Sorry guys, I don’t know the novel’s difficulty until I do a few test runs.