My Deskmate Chapter 73
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 73
When Wen Xiao arrived home, his grandmother was on the phone with one of her students. He dropped his black backpack on the sofa and turned toward the kitchen to bring out the late-night snack.
Autumn had already set in, and the indoor temperature was noticeably warmer than outside. Wen Xiao shrugged off the school uniform he had been wearing over his hoodie. The unfamiliar design caught his eye for a moment. Unlike the standard blue-and-white uniform of Mingnan High, the uniform of Qingzhuo High was predominantly white, with red accents on the sleeves and "Qingda Affliated High School" printed on the back, giving it a distinctive look.
Just as he sat down, his phone buzzed with a WeChat notification. It was from Zhao Yiyang, who had sent a slightly blurry photo. Whether it was due to shaky hands or bad focus wasn’t clear. The caption read:
"Urgent, brother! How do I tackle the second part of this problem? Even Shangguan and Xu Rui don’t get it, and I’d rather not go to that jerk Zhang Siyao!"
As Wen Xiao ate, he scanned the problem and thought it through. After a moment’s consideration, he jotted down a rough solution and sent it back.
Two minutes later, Zhao Yiyang replied with a series of exaggerated bowing and saluting stickers, followed by another message: "Hey, you done with evening self-study? Are you home yet?"
Wen Xiao typed back: Yeah, just got home.
At Qingda High, evening self-study for first and second year students ended at nine, while third year students had an extra half-hour.
Zhao Yiyang: Tonight’s evening self-study were brutal! First period was hijacked by Old Xu, and then physics took over the second. Don’t these people have any conscience?! Speaking of conscience, even Chi-ge doesn’t have one! He never speaks unless poked, and even then, half the time it’s useless. Plus, he hasn’t posted anything on his Moments in ages! I mean, sure, he’s probably busy as hell, but still, it makes me feel like he’s gone off to some alternate dimension or something.
Wen Xiao’s gaze lingered on the screen. No post on Moments...?
Zhao Yiyang: Man, this is just how people are, right? I didn’t know how to appreciate you when you were around, and now that you’re gone, I regret not asking you more questions!
Wen Xiao refocused on the conversation. "You can still ask me."
It wasn’t just Zhao Yiyang. Shangguan Yu and Xu Rui also occasionally messaged him with questions. Sometimes, this gave Wen Xiao a strange sense of dissonance, as if he were still in Mingnan, still studying at his old school. He could almost believe that after finishing evening self-study and heading back to his bedroom, all he had to do was look out his window to see Chi Ye’s across from his.
That lingering habit had stayed with him for a while after moving to Qingzhou. He would unconsciously glance past the window toward the opposite side, only to be greeted by nothing but darkness. There was no familiar view, no trace of the life he had left behind.
After their chat, Zhao Yiyang enthusiastically returned to solving problems. Wen Xiao set his phone aside and resumed eating.
Once her call ended, his grandmother came over, draping a plain shawl embroidered with orchids around her shoulders. She asked, "Isn’t your first monthly exam of the semester coming up soon? I got a text from the school-home communication app reminding parents to keep an eye on the mental health of third year students."
"Yeah. The teachers announced today it’s on Thursday and Friday." As Wen Xiao held the spoon, the scar on the middle finger of his hand was exposed. The wound, which had been bitten hard, had completely healed, the blood scab had fallen off, leaving only a light white mark.
His grandmother picked up a tangerine and began peeling it. Casually, she added, "Your homeroom teacher called me recently. He said now that you’re in your third year, you must pay attention to adjusting your mindset. It's neither good to be too relaxed nor too tense, and you also need to be careful not to fall in love, as it greatly affects your college entrance exam performance. You know, back when you were younger, I used to wonder how I’d handle it if you started dating early. I even looked up advice on the subject. After thinking it over, I decided the best approach would be to pretend I didn’t know anything. Don’t you think that’s ideal? No stress, no worries."
This was the first time in over three months since they had moved to Qingzhou that the topic had come up.
"And later?" Wen Xiao looked up at her. "Why didn’t you pretend anymore?"
"Because you looked so miserable," his grandmother replied gently. She carefully separated the peeled tangerine into sections and placed them into a small bowl. As she continued, her voice softened. "You probably didn’t realize what a mess you were back then. You’d leave for school and forget your bag, or take your bag but leave your books and homework behind. You drank water without checking if it was hot or cold, couldn’t eat, and had sleepless nights, tossing and turning until dawn. You were like... like someone who had plunged headfirst into an icy river in the middle of winter, curling up from the cold, your soul almost frozen out of you."
She paused and gave Wen Xiao a knowing look. "Then I thought to myself, this kind of hidden affection is too painful. Maybe, if there’s someone you can talk to about it, things would feel a little easier." She winked at him playfully. "See? Now Grandma and you share a little secret."
"Right." Wen Xiao’s fingers tightened slightly around the warm spoon. "Was it… obvious?"
"You mean that you were in love, that you had someone you liked?" His grandmother pretended to think hard before making a confident conclusion. "Oh, it was very obvious. As obvious as can be — anyone could tell at a glance. That’s the thing about liking someone. It’s impossible to hide. Your eyes were like ice melting into spring water. How could anyone miss it?"
So he hadn’t hidden it after all. All this time, he had thought he had done a good job concealing it.
At his desk, Wen Xiao spread out the test papers in front of him. He managed to solve two problems before setting his pen down and reaching for his phone. Opening WeChat, he clicked on Chi Ye’s profile picture.
It hadn’t changed. A bright star still stood out against a pitch-black background. Tapping into Chi Ye’s Moments, the most recent post was from yesterday: a photo of his hand, injured and wrapped in a black adhesive bandage.
Wen Xiao noticed the edge of the bandage’s packaging peeking into the frame. He instantly recognized it. It was the same kind he had once bought for Chi Ye at a convenience store.
In his memory, Chi Ye had hardly ever posted on Moments. Yet now, there was something new every day, sometimes twice in one day. With Wen Xiao’s WeChat friends still in the single digits, his feed updated so slowly that Chi Ye’s posts always stayed pinned at the top, making them impossible to miss.
And yet, Zhao Yiyang had said Chi Ye never posted on Moments.
Every day of third year felt like a monotonous cycle, as calm and uneventful as a still lake. It was filled with endless test papers and exams, bullet-pointed knowledge points and highlighter marks, mornings clouded by drowsiness, and nights weighed down by exhaustion. Only when lifting his head from the towering piles of practice books and textbooks did Wen Xiao realize that the harsh winter had already passed.
March 19th.
Eighty days until the college entrance exams.
Xu Guangqi's face was beaming with so much joy that the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes appeared even deeper. Leading Chi Ye to the back row of the classroom, he said, "I saved your and Wen Xiao’s desks and chairs. I didn’t let anyone move them. Our Class 1 has 42 students. Maybe not everyone is here, but the desks and chairs must remain perfectly aligned."
Turning back to look at Chi Ye, who had a black backpack slung over one shoulder and was wearing the old blue-and-white school uniform, Xu Guangqi noticed he seemed a bit taller than he had been over half a year ago. Pleased with himself, he added, "This just proves my foresight is as sharp as ever!"
Chi Ye set his bag down, but instead of returning to his own seat, he sat in Wen Xiao’s place.
Even though that desk had been empty for more than half a year, when his hand brushed against the edge of the table, Chi Ye felt as if, in that moment, he was closer to Wen Xiao than he’d been in a long time.
After Xu Guangqi happily left from the back door, Zhao Yiyang and Shangguan Yu turned around. Both of them were so excited they felt like running a few laps around the sports field. "Chi-ge!"
Chi Ye leaned back lazily in his chair, a smile in his eyes. "Your Chi-ge isn’t deaf. No need to yell."
Zhao Yiyang gave Chi Ye a once-over from head to toe.
He couldn’t pinpoint what exactly had changed, but he felt that the person in front of him was very different. Chi Ye still carried himself with the same air of nonchalance, his school uniform zipper left undone as always, but there was something undeniably altered, something deep in his bones.
By the time they returned from the sports field after morning exercises, nearly the entire school had heard that Chi Ye was back. Not only had he resumed his studies, but he had rejoined the third year to prepare for the college entrance exams. Rumors flew fast. Some said he was just giving up and going through the motions, while others claimed he simply wanted to scrape by with a high school diploma.
Ignoring the gossip, Zhao Yiyang sat at his desk, glancing at the girls lingering outside the hallway, peering through the classroom windows. Clicking his tongue, he said, "Tsk, tsk. The first year girls are in an uproar! They’ve all come running to see you. The hallway must be on the verge of collapsing! And if Wen Xiao were here, this crowd would be even bigger! Haha, you and Wen Xiao are both legends of our school!"
The black gel pen spinning between Chi Ye’s fingers slipped and clattered onto the desk. For a moment, his mind drifted, and before he could fully gather his thoughts, he heard Xu Guangqi calling his name from the doorway.
As Chi Ye stepped out through the back door of the classroom, the hallway lit up with eager stares from the girls. Their gazes practically glued themselves to him. Shielding his student like a bodyguard, Xu Guangqi frowned and barked, "What are you all standing around the third year classroom for? Disperse! Or should I get your homeroom teachers to escort you back one by one?"
A few reluctant stragglers hesitated, prompting Xu Guangqi to unleash his trump card. "Director Cheng is doing a hallway inspection. Inter-year wandering is strictly prohibited!"
Mentioning Cheng Xiaoning was like dropping a tactical nuke. Within seconds, the hallway was completely cleared.
Satisfied with the results, Xu Guangqi nodded approvingly.
Instead of heading to the office, he led Chi Ye to a quiet corner of the hallway. "There are only eighty days left until the college entrance exams. Can you manage?"
Chi Ye stood tall, his back straight, and answered firmly, "I can. Over the past six months, I’ve nearly worn my textbooks out from studying."
Xu Guangqi hesitated, trying to find the right way to phrase his next question, but Chi Ye had already continued speaking.
"My mom passed away on New Year’s Eve," Chi Ye said, his voice steady but soft. "My little sister cried in my arms the entire night. She only stopped when she was too exhausted to stay awake. Even though she’s young, I think she understood that we no longer had a home."
He could still remember that night vividly. The three of them had spent New Year’s Eve in the hospital room. By then, Shen Lanting was rarely lucid. A tube was inserted in her throat, and every breath she took seemed like a monumental struggle.
Yaya had leaned against the edge of the bed, too scared to touch her mother with any force. Instead, she had gently hooked her tiny fingers around Shen Lanting’s frail hand and whispered, "Mommy, you have to get better. Once you’re better, we can all have New Year’s dinner together, watch the fireworks, see the lanterns, and watch TV shows. We can even put up couplets and ‘Fu’ characters like Auntie next door. Everything outside is so beautiful right now. The trees along the streets are all decorated with lanterns..."
Close to midnight, as lively performances blared from the TV, Shen Lanting unexpectedly regained consciousness.
Sensing what was coming, Chi Ye pulled Yaya to sit by the bedside with him.
Holding both of their hands in hers, Shen Lanting’s heartbeat stilled amidst the thunderous sound of fireworks outside.
Chi Ye shoved his hands into the pockets of his cargo pants, exhaling slowly as he steadied himself. "After that came the paperwork and arranging the funeral. Then I sold off all the leftover materials and hardware in the store to someone I knew. They gave me a decent price, and I also terminated the lease on my mom’s storefront. The money left over was enough to get me and my sister through the summer. Oh, and I found a babysitter for her. She picks Yaya up from school, makes her meals, and takes care of everything. So now, Old Xu, you’ll be seeing me in the classroom during the evening self-study sessions."
Chi Ye’s tone was light, as if all of it were no more than an afterthought. But Xu Guangqi was an adult, and he knew better. Every word Chi Ye spoke, no matter how weightless they seemed, carried a weight that could crush someone’s shoulders.
And Chi Ye was just a seventeen-year-old boy. Raising his sister on his own, what could he do but grit his teeth and endure?
"Is there anything else you need help with? Is the living allowance enough? If it's not—"
"It's enough, and I'll have some income after the college entrance exams."
Xu Guangqi didn’t quite catch it. "What income?"
Chi Ye gave a slight smile. "Isn't there always a prize for the top scorer in the college entrance exam? Isn’t there one this year?"
Xu Guangqi narrowed his eyes in disbelief. "Look at you, so cocky! Are you planning to sell your notes too, make some extra money? With your notes that only you can understand, don’t even think about it. That road is closed!"
As he said this, Xu Guangqi couldn’t help but laugh, patting Chi Ye on the shoulder. "Well, if you really do become the top scorer, at least I’ll have something to boast about. Every class I teach will have its own story to tell."
After the evening self-study session, Chi Ye went downstairs with Zhao Yiyang and the others.
The lights in the academic buildings for the first and second years had already been turned off, leaving only the lights of the second academic building behind them still blazing.
Xu Rui was holding his vocabulary book. "Old Xu's motivational speeches are getting better and better. During tonight's self-study session, he said, 'The young have lofty ambitions, they can reach for the stars.' I was completely motivated! It's just vocabulary, I can handle it!"
Zhao Yiyang took a sip of his drink. "Last semester, I lost ten points on the math test. Then in the first monthly exam, I dropped eight spots in the rankings. I was completely demoralized. Old Xu took me into the office and fed me a bucket of motivational soup. After listening to him, I felt like if I felt down for another second, I'd be disrespecting the universe! Then, I jumped into the top 15 in the mid-term exam. So, I ask you, what level is Old Xu at?"
Shang Guan Yu: "Cheng Xiaoning would be willing to pay to attend Old Xu's class on how to give motivational speeches to students."
Zhao Yiyang laughed loudly. "Damn, doesn't Cheng Xiaoning charge an appearance fee?"
Walking in the middle, Chi Ye thought back to the last words Old Xu had written to him before he took his leave from school the year before.
He thought to himself, no matter how fate tried to challenge him, he would never lose that spark of youthful passion.
Because Wen Xiao was his youth, his own spark of that fiery passion.