My Deskmate Chapter 69
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 69
After lunch, Xu Rui found himself cornered at the back of the classroom by Zhao Yiyang and Shangguan Yu.
Not wanting to draw attention from others around them, Zhao Yiyang lowered his voice, speaking in a hurried, almost frantic tone. "Damn it, Xu Rui, is it you who spread the news?"
On their way to the cafeteria, they had overheard countless conversations about Chi Ye's leave of absence. Some were laughing and making wild guesses, others were spreading rumors with a venomous edge.
Xu Rui leaned back against the tiled wall, raising both hands in a gesture of surrender. He shook his head rapidly. "It wasn't me! My brain isn't made of wood. Sure, I like being the center of attention, but there's no way I’d gossip about Chi-ge. And besides..." His head drooped slightly, his voice losing its usual energy. "And besides, it’s been two years. Two whole years. We haven't been able to help him even once, and we didn't even know what was going on. We're such shitty friends."
Yeah, really shitty.
Zhao Yiyang took half a step back, his heart heavy with sadness. The three of them stood there, exchanging glances, as if they were back in that moment when they were eavesdropping outside the conversation room. Their emotions were a tangled mess, but no words could escape their lips.
Why was life so hard? Why was fate so unfair? But what good was complaining? It did no good at all.
Xu Rui adjusted his glasses, his voice softer now. "When Chi-ge came out of that conversation room... I had it all planned out. I was going to say, Chi-ge is amazing.' But just that simple sentence... I couldn't even get it out. I was like a mute."
Zhao Yiyang sighed in frustration. "I was even more of a mess than you. My head was spinning, I couldn't think straight, and I didn't even know what to say. Damn it."
The three of them stood there, heads hanging in dejection, until finally, it was Shangguan Yu who spoke up. "We have to do something."
Xu Rui pressed his hand against the tiled wall, his nails scratching at the fine cracks on its surface. "I agree. Once Chi-ge leaves, he probably won’t come back to school. He won’t make it before we graduate. Damn it... if we don’t get to see him again... We won’t even have him in the graduation photo. My youth won’t feel complete without him!"
Zhao Yiyang, tearing up at these words, snapped at Xu Rui. "Can you stop being so dramatic?" His voice was sharp but thick with emotion, his throat tight.
Shangguan Yu, the calmest of the three, looked first at Xu Rui, who was sniffling, then at Zhao Yiyang, whose eyes were now swollen and bloodshot. "So, we really have to do something."
Xu Rui’s voice was nasal, still tinged with emotion. "Just the three of us? What about Wen Xiao? Should we get him involved?"
Zhao Yiyang turned, his gaze drifting to the last row, where Wen Xiao had claimed two desks for himself.
Wen Xiao was lying there, taking a nap. His bent arm rested across the empty desk next to him, his profile bathed in the soft afternoon light. His fingers lay carelessly on the desk, two symmetrical scabs visible on his knuckles.
After a moment, Zhao Yiyang withdrew his gaze, a thought brewing in his mind. "Wen Xiao... probably knew about this before any of us. His emotional state isn’t okay right now, so we shouldn’t involve him this time."
Xu Rui and Shangguan Yu trusted Zhao Yiyang’s judgment. Given Wen Xiao’s condition, they agreed. It wasn’t just that he was "not okay." They had all noticed his strange behavior — he had little appetite at lunch, would unconsciously stare at nothing while walking, or suddenly freeze in the middle of solving problems as if his mind had wandered off. Even when they were chatting, he would sometimes zone out, as though his body and soul were no longer in sync.
They were all worried about him, but when it came to approaching Wen Xiao... even though they had been friends for nearly a semester, hanging out together and joking around, they still felt like probing into his state would be too much.
It wasn't out of fear, but more like a gut feeling to back down.
After their discussion, the three of them returned to their seats to rest, but their minds were too tangled to sleep. With no way to calm their thoughts, they pulled out their problem sets and began working through the exercises to pass the time.
The lunch break lasted until 1:55, a long stretch of time during which most either napped or studied. Others flipped through celebrity magazines, manhua, or secretly played mobile games. As a result, the low murmur of conversation in the classroom never really stopped.
A few students were discussing their grades from the past three years of high school. One of them was speaking a bit too loudly, his words easily carrying across the room.
"I don’t get it. I did well in middle school, and high school was fine at first, but once second year hit, it’s been a rollercoaster. I’m getting worse and worse. What if I keep falling behind in third year? If I don’t make it into the top 25 for the final exams, my mom will skin me alive!" He was clearly upset. "Zhang Siyao, if I had grades like yours, always at the top, I wouldn’t be worried."
He changed his tone with a sigh. "But you’re suffering too. You used to be first in the class, now you’re always second, getting crushed without a chance to fight back."
Zhang Siyao, who was sitting nearby, was marking his mistakes with a red pen. He had little patience for idle chatter, and the comment struck a nerve. He subconsciously glanced at Wen Xiao, who was lying on his desk, taking a nap. The sight made him feel even more frustrated and envious.
Still, he forced a smile and responded in a tone that seemed almost comforting. "You’re still in the top twenty, right? That’s not bad." He glanced again toward Wen Xiao, then added, "Look at Chi Ye. His scores in the middle school entrance exams were off the charts. He was so impressive. But now, before he even reached his third year, he’s skipping classes every day, probably out there causing all sorts of trouble. Now he’s on a leave of absence. Hah, serves him right. Hey, compared to that trash, do you feel any better?"
He didn’t bother to lower his voice, and the words reached almost everyone who was still awake in the classroom. Many turned their attention to Zhang Siyao.
Zhao Yiyang and the others, who had been listening, nearly exploded with anger. Just as they were about to stand up, they heard a sound.
A chair scraped across the floor, and Wen Xiao stood up.
Without his silver-rimmed glasses, Wen Xiao’s features were strikingly clear. His dark eyes were intense, like a boundless wasteland under a layer of ice and snow. His skin was pale, and his lips were set in a tight line, giving him an air of cold hostility.
The chatter in the classroom gradually dwindled to silence.
Walking from the back of the classroom to Zhang Siyao's seat, Wen Xiao looked down at Zhang Siyao's deskmate. "Move."
The student jumped in surprise, taking a moment to process the words before hurriedly standing up, clutching his books and stepping aside.
Wen Xiao's gaze shifted to Zhang Siyao. He didn’t act immediately, instead letting the silence stretch. His voice was frigid. "Do you have anything to explain about what you just said?"
Zhang Siyao swallowed hard. With Chi Ye gone, his words had been deliberately aimed to provoke Wen Xiao.
Ever since Wen Xiao transferred to the school, all the attention had been on him. Whether it was teachers or students, everyone was focused on him. Behind his back, people even called him a genius or a powerhouse, terms that made him feel disgusted.
A mocking smile tugged at Zhang Siyao’s lips. He wasn’t afraid, not in the slightest. Instead, he felt a surge of excitement and satisfaction as he spoke again. "Am I wrong? Can't I talk about someone like Chi Ye, who beat someone up so badly they had to be hospitalized and who caused trouble everywhere outside of school? Oh, that's right, you're good friends with that piece of trash, so you must have done a lot of shitty things too, right? He even brings you breakfast, haha. Is he maybe gay and has a crush on you? Or maybe you guys—"
Before he could finish, no one saw how quickly Wen Xiao moved. By the time they realized what had happened, Zhang Siyao was yanked by his collar and slammed hard against the wall with a sickening thud.
Everyone could imagine just how painful that impact had been.
Zhang Siyao’s face contorted in pain. He tried to cry out, but the words were caught in his throat. Wen Xiao’s grip on his collar was unrelenting, his fingers turning white with the force. He wasn’t loosening his hold, not even a little. Instead, the pressure seemed to increase with each passing second.
The tightness around his neck and the suffocating sensation sent sharp waves of pain through Zhang Siyao’s throat. His breathing became erratic, his veins pulsing painfully. His vision began to fade to black, and the overwhelming feeling of suffocation drove him into a panic, his body trembling with fear.
In his blurred vision, he met Wen Xiao’s cold, piercing gaze. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, and his body froze in terror, unable to move.
After what felt like an eternity, Wen Xiao slowly loosened his grip, withdrawing his hand from Zhang Siyao’s collar. His voice was deep and chilling, each word pronounced with a deliberate coldness. "You don't have the right to say a single word about him."
As soon as Wen Xiao released him, Zhang Siyao’s legs gave out beneath him. He collapsed to the floor, kneeling and unable to lift his head in shame.
Wen Xiao turned away, no longer sparing him another glance. Straightening his back, he swept his gaze across the classroom, his voice carrying clearly and coldly as he asked, "Is there anyone else who has something to say?"
The silence in the classroom was so thick it felt suffocating. No one spoke, and many instinctively looked away from Wen Xiao’s piercing stare.
He counted silently in his head, waiting for thirty seconds in the unnerving stillness, before he spoke again. "Since no one has anything to say now, let’s make sure it stays that way. Continue with your lunch break."
At their desks, Zhao Yiyang swallowed repeatedly, still in shock. He grabbed Shangguan Yu’s arm and whispered, "That was so cool, so badass! But for some reason... Wen Xiao kinda looks like—like—"
Shangguan Yu, his gaze following Wen Xiao as he walked toward the empty seats at the back, finished the thought. "Like Chi-ge"
Zhao Yiyang nodded eagerly, his face lighting up. "Exactly! I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s definitely a resemblance..."
On Thursday, Chi Ye had scheduled a time to submit his leave of absence paperwork, and Xu Guangqi accompanied him the entire way.
Once the formalities were completed, Xu Guangqi led him to the statue of Confucius, where he paused. "I have class next period. I won’t walk you to the gate."
Chi Ye nodded. "Alright."
Xu Guangqi shifted his gaze to the side, then added, "Actually, I don’t have class next period. I just didn’t want to see you leave the school."
Chi Ye smiled slightly, his lips curling up, then nodded again. "I know."
His gaze drifted toward the second academic building, briefly resting on the door to the 2nd year science class. He stared at it for a few seconds before pulling his gaze away.
Xu Guangqi gave Chi Ye’s shoulder a reassuring pat. "You promised, you’ll come back next year." Without waiting for a response, he turned and hurried off toward the second academic building, not looking back.
Standing there for a while, Chi Ye slowly took off the school uniform jacket he had been wearing and held it in his hand. He walked out of the school gate.
The moment his foot stepped past the threshold, he lowered his head and quickened his pace, fighting the urge to look back. What was the point of being so dramatic? He was coming back, after all.
But as he walked, his steps slowed slightly, and the familiar ache in his chest returned. When I come back, things won’t be the same.
That person wouldn’t be there anymore.
The sunlight was blinding, but to Chi Ye, it felt strangely cold. His heart felt hollow, like a gem had been ruthlessly gouged out of it, leaving only a void — an emptiness that no matter how hard he tried, could never be filled again, surrounded by deep and shallow scars from the carving.
Chi Ye walked along the wall, moving forward until, after a stretch of road, he slowed his pace beneath the shade of the tall trees, finally coming to a stop.
A few meters away, Zhao Yiyang, Shangguan Yu, and Xu Rui stood in a row. Each of them was wearing a set of old-fashioned suits, their ties crooked and uneven, resembling red scarves rather than proper neckties.
The suits didn’t fit properly. Some were too short, leaving their ankles exposed, while others were too long, gathering in folds around their shoes. The shoulders either too tight or sagging, the overall look unintentionally comical. They resembled boys who had borrowed their father’s clothes, trying to wear something that wasn’t quite theirs.
The three of them were visibly uncomfortable, fidgeting with their sleeves, tugging at their collars, trying to look serious but failing. They bumped into each other, trying to maintain an air of formality. Finally, Zhao Yiyang spoke up. "Chi-ge, we’ve taken off our school uniforms today and put on the clothes adults wear."
The moment the words left his mouth, Zhao Yiyang’s voice caught in his throat, unable to continue.
Xu Rui cursed inwardly at Zhao Yiyang for losing his composure, then quickly took over. "Adult clothes are hard to wear, and the road ahead isn’t easy. But—"
His eyes reddened, and his nose tingled with emotion, but he couldn’t go on. He instinctively turned his face away, hiding his expression from the others.
It was Shangguan Yu who finally said the lines they had rehearsed.
"But we all believe that Chi-ge will do better than any adult, that you’ll be even stronger! Fate’s a bitch, but we’ll beat it! Nothing can bring you down, Chi-ge. We’ll always be your brothers!"
With those words, the three of them finally finished speaking.
"Damn." Chi Ye couldn’t help but curse softly, his lips curling into a wry smile as he glanced at the three of them standing across from him, out of breath, their chests rising and falling.
"If you wanted to make your Chi-ge cry, you could’ve just said so. No need to go through all this trouble."
He took a deep breath, forcefully suppressing his emotions. With his hands in his pockets, he resumed his usual nonchalant pose and smiled. "Yeah. Forever. We’ll always be good brothers."