My Deskmate Chapter 40
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 40
Doubting this answer, Wen Xiao didn't hang up. He took out his well-worn textbooks and study guides, ready to start doing exercises. Seeing that Chi Ye in the screen had also picked up his pen, he asked, "Translation?"
"Yeah, it's quite a lot of work. I need to hurry, or I'll be up all night," Chi Ye replied, spinning his pen between his fingers. "By the way, what homework are you doing?"
"Physics and English listening."
"Speaking of which, Wen Xiao, don't you feel like an emperor flipping through his harem? Chinese, math, English, physics, chemistry, biology, they're all concubines in your harem, and you flip whoever's card based on your mood."
Wen Xiao: "Didn't you always say you're someone who’s loyal and devoted?"
"In studies, I'm fair to all. In emotions, I’m loyal and devoted," Chi Ye said with a smile, clearly in a good mood. However, the black band-aid beneath his eye stood out. He absentmindedly tapped it with his finger. "Tsk, you always tempt me into talking. I was supposed to be focusing on translating."
Wen Xiao shot him a look. "Who’s tempting who?"
Chi Ye smirked, his smile mischievous. "You, you're tempting me."
Wen Xiao: “......”
Unable to win the argument, he simply lowered his head to do exercises and ignored him.
The video was still on, but neither of them spoke. The only sound that reached their ears was the soft scratching of pen tips against paper. Despite sitting at two separate desks, each with its own lamp, it somehow felt like they were in the same classroom, with their desks pressed together.
Wen Xiao was writing "E3 - E1 = 12.09 eV" when he heard Chi Ye ask, "Deskmate, what does 'horseman' mean?"
"A knight. A horse rider."
Chi Ye asked again, "What about 'pass by'? How do you translate that?"
Wen Xiao lifted his gaze, his eyes meeting Chi Ye’s, whether close or far, and translated, "Knight. Move forward."
In the youth's eyes, there seemed to be a cold flame, enough to burn away all the dirt and obstacles on the road ahead. But the smile that spread across Chi Ye's face softened the chill in his eyes. "Thanks for the encouragement, Teacher Xiao Wen."
Realizing he'd been tricked again, Wen Xiao noticed that Chi Ye was holding a notebook, not a translation text. "What are you writing?"
"I was just calculating again, going over my recent expenses and income," Chi Ye replied with a self-deprecating smile. "I know there won’t be any mistakes. I know I should focus on the translation, but I can't help it. I finish one round and end up checking again, confirming the numbers over and over."
Wen Xiao’s sharp eyes caught the hint of unease in Chi Ye’s voice. "Chi Ye, you're anxious."
"Yeah, although I don’t want to admit it," Chi Ye said, leaning back in his chair, staring at the ceiling for a few seconds. There was a trace of weariness in his voice. "Go ahead and keep working. I’ll get some water."
It was already past midnight, and the world outside had grown eerily quiet. Somewhere in the building, a dog barked, its distant cries breaking the stillness. It grated on the nerves, as though a small seed had been planted in Chi Ye’s heart, trying desperately to push through the soil, stirring up his restlessness.
He went to the kitchen and drank a glass of cold water, feeling the restlessness inside him ease, inch by inch, with each swallow.
His gaze returned to the phone screen, and before he knew it, Chi Ye found himself entranced.
The phone was positioned neither too close nor too far, perfectly framing Wen Xiao’s face. The bright light made his skin appear even paler than usual, almost like jade.
Chi Ye had always thought there was something uniquely strange about Wen Xiao’s presence. The other person rarely displayed any obvious emotions. His temperament, from inside out, was genuinely cold. If he could write something on his school uniform, it might have read on the front: "None of your business," and on the back, "None of my business," with a horizontal inscription saying, "Don’t bother me if there’s nothing important." Few things or people could catch his attention long enough to make him look twice.
It reminded him of the time before they knew each other, when he had been stabbed in the waist. Wen Xiao had walked by, only to turn back, tossing a jacket over his shoulders without a word.
At the same time, this person’s inner strength was unwavering, as immovable as a mountain.
The light from the desk lamp illuminated a small, confined area. Wen Xiao kept his head lowered, his lashes brushing his cheeks, his expression almost emotionless as he focused intently. The faint sound of his pen moving across paper came through the phone, as if he were sitting just an inch away.
Although the rhythm of the sound was erratic, it gradually calmed the anxiety that was welling up in Chi Ye's heart.
Leaning back in his chair, he stared at Wen Xiao on the screen, noticing how his breathing gradually slowed, his mind growing clear and calm, as though submerged in a cold spring.
He needed this stillness to face the chaos around him.
The video lasted until 2:30 in the morning.
On the screen, Wen Xiao capped his pen and tilted his head back, pressing his fingers to his brow. His voice, a little rough from staying up late, lacked its usual clarity. "How much have you translated?"
"Halfway. I should be done by five," Chi Ye replied, stretching lazily as his fingers absentmindedly twirled his pen. "Are you done for the night?"
Wen Xiao shared his progress. "Yeah, with today’s work, I’ll be nearly finished previewing physics."
Chi Ye couldn’t help but laugh. "Your version of preview is topping the year rankings. The people behind you, who’ve already completed a whole round of study, would probably have a heart attack if they heard that."
Noticing the fatigue around Wen Xiao’s brows, Chi Ye remembered something Old Xu had once said: There are many people in the world who are smarter than you, but the ones who are hardest to beat are those who are not only smarter but also work harder than you.
His deskmate was clearly one of those types — astonishingly self-disciplined, diligent, and relentless.
"I don't want to watch such theatrics," Wen Xiao rejected Chi Ye's hypothesis with a casual wave. He held the phone closer. "I’m going to wash up and get ready for bed. See you tomorrow?"
Hearing those last three words, Chi Ye’s smile deepened. "See you tomorrow."
The screen went black, signaling the end of the video. Chi Ye tossed his phone aside casually.
After looking up several technical terms in his English-Chinese dictionary, he glanced out the window. He noticed Wen Xiao seemed to have been standing by his window for a while. Not long after, the lights in his room went out. He must have fallen asleep.
Staring at the scattered papers and pens under his desk lamp, Chi Ye let out a soft sigh. "Good night, deskmate."
On Thursday and Friday, Chi Ye didn't show up at school. Cheng Xiaoning, still in the habit, stood at the back door of the classroom, sighing as she looked at Chi Ye's empty seat. After a moment, he turned and headed to his next patrol point.
Zhao Yiyang, on the other hand, was in distress over his phone, which had just been confiscated. He had been cautious enough. To watch the live stream of the game during evening self-study, he had spent a lot of time carefully carving a rectangular hole in a thick reference book, perfectly fitting his phone into it.
But despite all his careful planning, he hadn’t counted on Old Xu taking an interest in the book as he passed by and asking to take a look. After that, Zhao Yiyang could only watch helplessly as his phone was taken away, unable to do anything about it.
Furrowing his brows to the point that they almost creased, Zhao Yiyang groaned, "I went to Old Xu again just now. He said I could get my phone back, but I have to write a self-reflection."
Shangguan Yu was puzzled. "A self-reflection? Old Xu would just let it go that easily? There’s definitely something fishy about this."
Zhao Yiyang continued, "Your Majesty, this self-reflection... Old Xu wants me to write 150,000 words! Originally, he wanted 200,000 words, but because of our long-standing friendship, he said he would give me a discount."
Shangguan Yu paused for two seconds before replying, "I used the wrong adjective. Calling it 'easy' without considering the length is irresponsible."
"Exactly!" Zhao Yiyang grabbed his hair, a bit on the edge. "I even went to Taobao to find someone to ghostwrite the self-reflection. I told the customer service I needed 150,000 words, and they replied, 'Dear customer, are you planning to publish a book?'"
He said the last sentence in a high-pitched, squeaky voice.
Shangguan Yu burst out laughing without holding back.
While working on his problems, Wen Xiao casually remarked, "I've come up with a title — Thirty Common Self-Reflections for Campus Use."
Zhao Yiyang: "Even Wen Xiao is mocking me!"
He tore a page from his notebook, folded it into a palm-sized rectangle, and carefully wrote on it, "The Tomb of My Beloved Xiao Hei." With both palms pressed together in prayer, Zhao Yiyang bowed seriously towards the "tomb" and said, "Don’t blame me for being fickle. Rest well over there with Old Xu. Tomorrow’s the weekend. I’ll go buy a new Xiao Hei. You can't be without me, but I can't go a day without my phone..."
Shangguan Yu: "Scumbag."
After carefully folding the makeshift tomb away, Zhao Yiyang turned to Wen Xiao. "Are you free tomorrow, Saturday? There’s a really good hotpot place on the south of 2nd Ring. Want to join us?"
Wen Xiao: "I have something to do tomorrow, can’t make it."
"Alright," Zhao Yiyang sighed dramatically. "Looks like it’ll just be me and Shangguan then. Xu Rui can’t go either, but don’t worry, I’ll definitely take photos for you guys tomorrow!"
On Saturday morning, when Wen Xiao went out, the sun had already climbed halfway up the sky. The sunlight was so bright it was a bit dazzling. He pulled up the hood of his sweatshirt, making his already small face appear even smaller.
Wen Xiao arrived exactly on time. Dr. Lin, seeing him, offered a gentle compliment. "You're one of my most punctual patients. Every time you come, it's always right on the dot."
"Hello," Wen Xiao said, sitting down in the chair across from Dr. Lin. His face remained expressionless, clearly not interested in small talk.
He had the slender build typical of his age. His wrist, exposed just above his sleeve, looked particularly delicate. His back was straight, and when interacting with others, he gave off a cold, untamable aura.
Dr. Lin lowered the volume of the soft music that had been playing continuously. "Shall we begin today's treatment now?"
In the hospital lobby on the first floor, Chi Ye was messaging with Yaya’s homeroom teacher. To be more precise, it was part of the elementary school’s family-school communication plan. The teacher was very diligent, sending voice messages that lasted almost a minute each, and soon the screen was filled with them.
Saturday at the hospital was as noisy as ever. Chi Ye found a slightly quieter spot by the glass door that opened outward. He stood there, patiently listening to each voice message one by one.
When he replied, he shed his usual careless and irreverent tone, his voice steady. "Thank you, teacher. I’ll also be tutoring her at home in math, so you don’t need to worry."
After sending the message, Chi Ye sighed. This felt more complicated than dealing with Old Xu at school. No, it was even more troublesome than dealing with Cheng Xiaoning. He suddenly understood why so many parents dreaded attending parent-teacher meetings.
He thought for a moment about how he would approach tutoring Yaya in her dreadful math. He couldn’t help but doubt whether she was even his real sister. He had aced every math test in elementary school, breezing through fifth and sixth grades and even starting to study middle school math on his own with ease.
Meanwhile, Yaya was in first grade, struggling with basic math.
Just as he was about to search for free online math tutorials for first graders, his peripheral vision caught a familiar figure. Chi Ye turned his head, and immediately spotted Wen Xiao.
The hospital lobby was crowded with people, but the hallway leading to the mental health center was relatively quiet. Wen Xiao had pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up, his head slightly lowered, hands tucked into his pockets. He looked like a slender bamboo stalk.
"Wen Xiao," Chi Ye called out.
But Wen Xiao didn’t respond, as if he had shut out all outside noise and was completely unaware of his surroundings.
Chi Ye furrowed his brows.
He couldn’t help but recall the time during the chemistry experiment when Wen Xiao had shrunk into the corner of the wall after hearing the alarm bell. The memory made him uneasy. He quickly maneuvered around the pedestrians, stepping up to Wen Xiao and grabbing his arm. "Wen Xiao?"
It seemed as though Wen Xiao’s reaction was delayed. After a few seconds, he slowly turned his head, staring blankly at him.
He was crying.
Or rather, he had just cried, as his eyelashes were still wet.
Chi Ye glanced toward the building at the end of the hallway, tightening his grip on Wen Xiao's arm. His voice was rough as he asked, "Are you... okay?"
Wen Xiao had heard this question countless times before.
His teachers had asked, "Are you okay?" His classmates had asked, "Are you alright?" His grandmother had asked, and the doctors at the hospital had asked. He would patiently repeat the same answer every time — I'm fine, I'm okay, there's nothing wrong with me.
But at that moment, facing Chi Ye, the walls he had built up over time suddenly crumbled into dust. The shadow of fear reached out, its tendrils probing.
Wen Xiao’s fingers trembled slightly. To control the trembling, he gripped Chi Ye’s arm tightly, so hard that Chi Ye frowned in discomfort.
Noticing some bystanders casting curious glances their way, Chi Ye shot them a fierce glare. Then, without another word, he half-embraced Wen Xiao and pushed open the glass door, guiding him to the corner on the right side of the door to shield them from the stares.
Chi Ye’s rough hand pressed gently against Wen Xiao’s head, applying a bit more pressure until Wen Xiao rested against his shoulder. His heart felt suffocated, and even feelings of anxiety, helplessness, tension, and anger all surged up, making him suspect that he had just locked a wild beast in his heart.
His lips were near Wen Xiao’s ear. Chi Ye tried to soften his tone, but there was still an unmistakable edge to his voice. "It’s okay if you’re not okay. Chi-ge will coax you."