Who Moved My Ashes Chapter 8
Chapter 8
It was impossible. Secretary Jiang’s heart was like a needle at the bottom of the sea, unable to discern. Even if they had gathered the entire company, they still wouldn't be able to predict her thoughts.
In the evening, Jiang Xichu and Chen Man returned home together. Jiang Xichu entered the kitchen immediately. Yesterday, she had bought food for the next three days. The dishes she made weren’t heavy; two vegetables, one meat, a hot soup, plus some fruit after. They were homely and nutritious.
Tonight’s menu was stir-fried leek with bean sprouts, stir-fried shredded pork with garlic, small fried meatballs and a bowl of soup with white gourd ribs.
While marinating the shredded pork and the filling, Jiang Xichu busied herself cutting the vegetables and chopping ginger. She was very fast - in less than three minutes, they were all prepared. Then, she turned the gas stove on and began to cook.
The chopped vegetables, still glistening with droplets of water, let out a loud sizzle as they dropped into the hot pot. Chen Man stood quietly behind her, taking some cloves of garlic she had taken out in advance and started to carefully peel them for her.
Jiang Xichu glanced at Chen Man but didn't say anything. She continued to stir the pot.
Jiang Xichu's skills couldn’t be compared to a chef, but her food was very delicious and had reached the highest level of home cooking.
The two vegetarian dishes soon came out of the pot. She opened a drawer and found a bag of disposable gloves, putting a pair on and beginning to make the meatballs.
When Chen Man saw, her eyes lit up, “Let me do it.”
Jiang Xichu saw her look and knew that Chen Man thought it was fun to shape meatballs with her hand. Jiang Xichu raised her eyebrow, handed the gloves over and turned away, filling another pot with water and preparing to stew the pork ribs.
(TN: There’s a specific way to shape smaller meatballs in China, using the 虎口 (lit. ‘tiger’s mouth’), where you squeeze out the ball by funneling it through the space between the pointer finger and thumb. See image below)
It took an hour for Chen Man to prepare and serve the meal. During this time she also plated the table and laid out the utensils. Afterwards, she was also responsible for putting the dishes in the dishwasher.
The three dishes and one soup were all served on the table. Chen Man happily sat down and picked up the chopsticks. Just as she was about to take a bite, Jiang Xichu slapped her wrist, “Did you wash your hands?”
Chen Man smiled and stood up immediately. “I forgot to, I’ll go now.”
At six o'clock in the evening, the sky outside was still bright, the windows were open, and the warm wind passed through the room. It blew on their skin, both of them smiling, obviously enjoying such a peaceful life.
When they ate, they didn't talk much, meaning they had their heads buried in their plates and waited until they had finished eating. When they were almost done, Chen Man took a sip of soup, then glanced up to look at Jiang Xichu.
Jiang Xichu didn’t bother looking but slowly said: “You’ve been looking at me all day like this. What is it?”
Despite being caught, Chen Man didn’t feel embarrassed. She put the soup bowl down and looked at her curiously. “Did something good happen recently?”
Jiang Xichu looked at her, baffled. “No.”
Chen Man’s expression showed that she was even more puzzled. “Then, why are you suddenly treating me so well? You’re not even scolding me.”
Jiang Xichu: “...Do you want me to scold you?”
She smiled. “It’s okay, I can satisfy your needs.”
Chen Man: “...”
Chen Man laughed and waved her hands around. “No, no, I just thought it was strange. Your character is a little different now…There are always reasons for people’s characters to suddenly change.”
Jiang Xichu paused for the first time and nodded. “There’s a reason. I know I’ve changed a lot now compared to before. However, I think this change is very good and you will have to adapt slowly.”
She wanted to have a chance with Chen Man, and the only possible result of that chance was the two of them living out their days together. Chen Man was so fond of her and she…she couldn’t say for sure. Jiang Xichu didn’t know what she was feeling, but what she did know was that she couldn't imagine life without Chen Man. She knew that if they began, they could no longer part ways; they would have to keep walking forward, side by side, without end.
The companions and subordinates were different identities. She couldn’t spend another lifetime with Chen Man by quarreling. Therefore, Jiang Xichu wanted to change herself to make Chen Man’s life happier.
Chen Man didn’t know about the painstaking efforts Jiang Xichu was taking, so she still asked curiously: “What’s the reason, tell me about it.”
Jiang Xichu looked at her. After a while, she chuckled. “Okay, I’ll tell you.”
Chen Man also laughed. She sat forward a little and waited for Jiang Xichu’s next words.
Jiang Xichu slowly said: “Yes…I didn’t tell you before, but I want to try with that person. You said my temper isn’t good, so I thought, I can’t be someone’s girlfriend with a bad temper. Since we will be together, we must work hard for a lifetime together. So, I want to change my temper. It’ll be good for both of us.”
Chen Man sat stunned, and was quiet for a long time.
She couldn't see herself, but Jiang Xichu saw all her emotional changes. Maybe Chen Man didn’t even know how pitiful her expression was right now.
She dazedly looked at Jiang Xichu, who sat there without a care in the world. Her eyes were slightly red, and tears were building up. As soon as she blinked, they would immediately fall. At first, Jiang Xichu was savouring her expression, but quickly realised something was wrong and started panicking. She quickly stood up and walked over. “Hey, I…”
Chen Man suddenly realized she was acting out on her feelings. She smiled stiffly. “The soup was a little hot. Ah, my tongue hurts. It hurts so much. I will go to the bathroom to deal with it. You just sit here. I’ll come back later to clean it up.”
After that Chen Man stood up and left. Jiang Xichu didn’t think and immediately followed her, but Chen Man walked so fast she couldn’t catch up. She could only watch her run into the bathroom like a gust of wind.
Standing outside the door, Jiang Xichu opened her mouth, a little upset.
It seemed that the joke was too much.
At the same time, she also felt a flicker of irritation. If things really were as Chen Man thought - and she had already said this - then wouldn’t she soon be heading into someone else’s arms? And yet, Chen Man still hadn’t said a word. There was no sign she was planning to fight for her.
Jiang Xichu silently returned to the dining room. She wanted to talk to Chen Man, but Chen Man didn’t give her the opportunity. As long as the topic was mentioned, Chen Man would quickly turn it around. After the latter cleaned up the dining table, she went back to her room and stayed there for the rest of the evening.
Jiang Xichu lingered outside her door for a while, finally sighed, and returned to her room.
At one o'clock in the morning, Jiang Xichu was lying quietly on the bed, her eyes rapidly moving around under her eyelids. Suddenly, she frowned, and her breathing turned into short gasps. It seemed that she was having a nightmare. After about two minutes, she suddenly opened her eyes. Afraid and in despair, her eyes weren’t focused at all. After staying still for a bit, she managed to pull herself out of the nightmare.
She stretched out her arm, grabbed her phone and looked at the time. Jiang Xichu gingerly sat up, groaned and rubbed her temple which was a bit numb.
Ever since her rebirth, she would have nightmares every night. Even if she lived right across from Chen Man, she still couldn’t relieve the pressure and shadow in her heart. She knew that her current state wasn’t okay. On the surface, she looked very normal, but in fact, she was extremely anxious. She was on the edge of restlessness and collapse, and she was extremely insecure. She couldn’t show it though, she was unable to show it.
Chen Man's thoughts were delicate. If Jiang Xichu displayed her true state, she would become worried. She would become even more concerned if Jiang Xichu didn’t explain it. So, she could only stress by herself. What Jiang Xichu didn’t account for was Chen Man’s current unhappiness.
After she sat on the bed for a while, Jiang Xichu turned over and got out of bed, putting on her slippers. She calmly opened the door and arrived at Chen Man’s bedroom door, quietly walking in.
She’d come over like this for the past couple days. After being awakened by the nightmare, she would come to Chen Man’s room and stand by her bed watching her sleep. After half an hour to an hour later, Jiang Xichu would feel less anxious, and would go back to her room to resume sleeping.
Of course, Chen Man didn’t know that. Jiang Xichu’s movements were very light, and all she did was watch. As long as she could see that her chest was still moving, Jiang Xichu would be reassured.
Today, she came to Chen Man's room as usual. There was no light in the room, the curtains weren’t pulled, and even the blanket on the bed was clean and tidy.
No one.
Chen Man wasn’t here.
She…wasn’t here.
Jiang Xichu’s pupils tightened abruptly and she retreated in horror, her breathing immediately becoming difficult and hurried. She’d backed up too fast and hit the door handle, a sharp pain blooming from her back, but Jiang Xichu didn’t care. Her brain blanked, and her panic-filled eyes stared at the empty bed.
Chen Man was…not…there.
The tears fell without warning. Jiang Xichu’s legs went soft. She couldn’t help but fall on the ground. She didn’t know what to do. Should she go find someone? How could she find- where was she now? This was Chen Man’s home, was she a person? Or a ghost, when, two months ago, or…a year later?
In front of her eyes, there was a burst of darkness. Jiang Xichu couldn’t breathe. She was pale and gasping like a dying fish. She could breathe in, but she couldn’t breathe out. The feeling of lacking oxygen was very painful. When the door behind her opened, Chen Man heard the noise and walked back from the living room window. She saw Jiang Xichu sitting by the door and was stunned.
“Jiang Xichu, what are you doing? Sleepwalking?”
As she said that, she went to Jiang Xichu, crouched down and saw Jiang Xichu’s present appearance under the moonlight. Her expression immediately changed.
For two minutes, Jiang Xichu was unconscious. When she regained consciousness, her surroundings became bright and all she could see was a soft white. She moved her fingers and found that she was in a person’s arms. Her hands tightly held them, while the other’s hands were stroking her back, patiently and gently.
Chen Man held Jiang Xichu. Her frame was thin and bony, not soft at all and it was hardly comfortable. However her warmth was enough to make Jiang Xichu’s tears spill over. She had intended to pull away, but at this moment, she simply couldn’t; resting her head against Chen Man’s chest, forehead pressed firmly against her. Chen Man sensed from her movements that she was likely better now, but she still didn’t let go. And so they remained there, sitting in silence on the floor.
After a long time, Chen Man’s voice rang. “Jiang Xichu.”
The person in her bosom raised her head and Chen Man lowered her head to look into her eyes.
Chen Man was unnervingly calm. She stared into Jiang Xichu’s eyes and spoke firmly. “Tell me what’s wrong with you.”
.
.
.
The author has something to say:
To set the record straight for my beloved Man Man!
She is the top! Even if she's irresolute, she's still the top! [Clenched fist]