Just in Time Chapter 41
Translated by Sylver (ko-fi)
Chapter 41 Disclosure
Yi Chenliang had a cigarette in his mouth, but he couldn’t light it even after several attempts with the lighter.
Yun Fang reached out, took the cigarette from his mouth, and put it in his own. He raised his chin at Yi Chenliang, “Light it.”
Yi Chenliang clenched the lighter in his hand, “You shouldn’t smoke this stuff.”
“Then you shouldn’t smoke in front of me.” Yun Fang threw the cigarette in his mouth into the trash can and took out two packs of cigarettes from his pocket, “Quit it, it’s bad for your lungs.”
The cigarette was thrown into the trash can.
“You see, you’re always so good to me.” Yi Chenliang leaned on the sofa, looking up at him, and gave a self-deprecating smile, “But you refuse to admit that you like me.”
"I like you," Yun Fang stood by the railing, slightly bowed his head, with a wound on his lips bitten by Yi Chenliang, and spoke with a hint of pain, "but it's not the kind of liking you want."
"Liking can have f*cking varieties," Yi Chenliang bent one leg and placed it on the sofa, spinning the lighter in his hand at a rapid speed, with thin eyelids drooping down, "You can't possibly be randomly kind to me."
Suddenly, Yun Fang desperately wanted to smoke a cigarette, but he had thrown all cigarettes into the trash can just now. He took two steps back and leaned on the window sill, “Are you sure you want to hear it?”
Yi Chenliang tugged at the corner of his mouth, “Just give me a straight answer. If you keep me hanging like this, I’m going to go crazy. I’m starting to suspect that you’re my biological brother.”
“It might be even more outrageous than being your biological brother.” Yun Fang sighed.
Yi Chenliang looked at him with a complicated expression, “Biological sister?”
Yun Fang almost couldn’t help but slap him again.
Yi Chenliang seemed to realize that his guess was far-fetched, and he couldn’t help but laugh, “Damn.”
“A few months ago, my name wasn’t Yun Fang.” Yun Fang stared at Yi Chenliang and slowly said, “My name was Yi Chenliang.”
The smile on Yi Chenliang’s face froze, and he mechanically sat up straight. The look in his eyes when he looked at Yun Fang was clearly incredulous, “What the hell are you talking about?”
Even if rejecting him, he didn’t have to be so outrageous.
Yun Fang smiled and pointed at himself, “This child named Yun Fang, a few months ago, committed suicide by swallowing sleeping pills. When waking up again, the person inside had changed to me. Before I died in my previous life, I was thirty-five.”
Yi Chenliang furrowed his brows, “Don’t talk nonsense.”
“You grew up in Qiu Shan Orphanage. You were abandoned at the door of the orphanage, wrapped only in a flower bundle. If someone hadn’t come out to use the bathroom at night and seen you, you would have frozen to death.” Yun Fang’s gaze fell on his thigh, “You have a black mole on the inside of your thigh, and a not-so-obvious triangular birthmark on your lower back—”
“When you were six, you were brought home from the orphanage by Song Lili and Yi Mingzhi through connections. They were nice to you at first, but later they often beat you, and even wanted to sell you after Yi Chenze was born. You knelt down and begged them, even breaking your head—”
“You like to sleep facing right, when you’re nervous you pinch your knuckles, as a child you often hid in the blanket and cried secretly, wanting to find your biological parents—of course, these are all external appearances, anyone who is interested can find out with a little inquiry.”
Yun Fang hooked the corner of his mouth, leaned in close to him and whispered, “The first time you m*sturbate was because you liked the girl at the front desk in junior high, even in your dreams…”
As Yi Chenliang listened, his face became more and more ugly.
“I also know, your own…little movements…” Yun Fang laughed softly, “You don’t like to make noise…you secretly…”
Yi Chenliang’s face suddenly turned red, and he was angry and embarrassed, “Damn it! Shut up!”
Yun Fang flicked his red ear, blew into it, and laughed, “Also, your ears can’t stand it…”
Yi Chenliang was like a cooked shrimp, his secrets, both spoken and unspoken, were all laid bare in front of him, and couldn’t stand it.
Embarrassment, annoyance, followed by shock and disbelief, his worldview shattered, he pushed Yun Fang away with trembling hands, “This is unscientific!”
“It is quite unscientific.” Yun Fang shrugged nonchalantly, “I even think it’s fantasy.”
Yi Chenliang looked complicated, “Then how did you die?”
Yun Fang laughed and sighed, “Classmate Xiao Yi, give me some face.”
It seemed that he died quite pathetically. Yi Chenliang thought for no reason, in the end curiosity overcame fear and shock, he looked Yun Fang up and down, still finding it unbelievable, “Damn…let me take a break…”
No wonder, no wonder Yun Fang suddenly appeared in Xinnan Alley, caught the knife barehanded, knew where his home was, made every effort to get into Class 10 with him, went to Xiaowu Village alone to save him—
No wonder Yun Fang was so good to him.
No wonder Yun Fang said that his liking for him was not the liking he wanted.
No one would be bad to themselves, after all, people live based on their own needs.
Yi Chenliang couldn’t say what he felt, as if he had an incredible dream. In the dream, someone was good to him with all their heart, he couldn’t help but like that person, thinking that God was finally kind to him once, but when he woke up from the dream, he found it was all his own imagination.
The Yun Fang he liked was a person made of bubbles, because of a momentary impulse, he burst the bubble with his own hands, and in the end found that he still had nothing.
He was still a lonely person, an old unlucky egg.
Yi Chenliang reached out and grabbed his hair, laughed at himself, “Damn, this thing is…sorry buddy, hey I really didn’t expect there would be such an outrageous thing.”
Yun Fang was stunned by his reaction for a moment, then pulled the corner of his mouth in a detached manner, “It’s okay, I should have told you earlier, don’t blame you for misunderstanding.”
“Will I be very impressive in the future?” Yi Chenliang asked him.
Yun Fang, with his hands in his pockets, sat on the armrest, “Hmm, not bad.”
Yi Chenliang asked, “Did I find a wife? Do I have children? How many?”
Yun Fang: “…I died before I found a wife.”
“Oh, that’s a bit miserable.” Yi Chenliang said.
Yun Fang: “…”
Yi Chenliang: “…”
“You should be different from me in the future.” Yun Fang patted his head, “I dropped out of high school after a month and went to a juvenile detention center, then mixed in society. You should be able to go to a good university, have a decent job, find a good girl to marry and have children, that’s nice.”
“Hmm, sounds good.” Yi Chenliang looked up at the ceiling, “You’ve become Yun Fang, you won’t drop out of school anymore.”
“Yeah.” Yun Fang stared at a certain point in the void, “That’s nice.”
The hot water in the cup gradually cooled, and the heat was gone. The two of them sat on the sofa and no one spoke again.
Yi Chenliang’s mind was a mess, one moment he felt that this was absolutely impossible, the next moment he felt that such weird and real evidence was absolutely true. The two thoughts were like two hands tearing at his soul, almost tearing him to pieces.
Yun Fang stood up and took his down jacket, saying to Yi Chenliang, “Don’t think too much, if I were you, I would also fall for such a person, this matter is ultimately my fault—”
“I was afraid to tell you because it might scare you.” Yun Fang gave a bitter smile.
“Why did you say it now?” Yi Chenliang looked up at him, his eyes stubborn, “You didn’t have to tell me.”
“That wouldn’t be fair to you.” Yun Fang looked at him with a pained heart, “You should find someone you truly like.”
“Will there be someone who treats me better than you?” Yi Chenliang stared at him, asking in a joking tone.
“There definitely will be.” Yun Fang gave a gentle smile, “After all—I don’t love myself that much.”
The sound of the security door closing was especially loud in the empty room.
Yi Chenliang laid on the sofa, slowly curling himself up. The room was warm with heating, but he still felt cold in waves.
Of course, Yi Chenliang would like Yi Chenliang, but not in the same way that Yi Chenliang liked Yun Fang.
His future self was really despicable.
But.
Yi Chenliang raised his arm to cover his eyes, suppressing all the weak, evasive, and reluctant emotions in his heart.
He had lived well on his own before, and he could live well on his own in the future, without needing his own charity and pity.
‘After all—I don’t love myself that much.’ The words the person said before leaving echoed in his ears again.
“I don’t love myself that much…” Yi Chenliang muttered to himself, “I’m not a narcissist.”
****
The night was falling, Yun Fang sat at the desk, looking at the window on the third floor across the street.
The light was still not on.
Perhaps he shouldn’t have been so impulsive, telling Yi Chenliang the truth.
The crazy and out-of-control kiss during the day made him feel a panic he had never felt before. There was a moment when he thought it would be nice to continue like this, deceiving Yi Chenliang, he could always be Yun Fang.
Selfish and absurd.
He didn’t know when he started, but he couldn’t be selfish towards Yi Chenliang anymore. Such a clean Yi Chenliang shouldn’t be tainted by his dirty and ugly soul.
He had already scared him.
He didn’t know how long he had been standing in front of the window when the window across finally lit up with a dim light. He could vaguely see the person inside walking around.
He left a bit hastily, forgetting to help Yi Chenliang tidy up.
Yi Chenliang busily tidied up all night, sprawled on the bed not knowing what to eat. Many windows in the residential building across were lit up, the sound of cooking and laughter built up a touch of worldly fireworks.
Yun Fang’s home was on the fourth floor, he vaguely remembered that there was an elm tree right in front of Yun Fang’s window.
He looked up, the elm tree had already lost all its leaves, through the rugged branches he could see the window lit up with light.
Yi Chenliang got up and turned off the light, leaned on the window and looked up.
Yun Fang saw the light on the third floor went out, and also turned off the light in his room, standing in front of the window looking down.
The old elm tree that had lost all its leaves couldn’t block much of the view, and in the pitch-black window, one couldn’t see any people. Two lines of sight touched each other through the night and the withered branches, but neither of them noticed.
It was like a secret and unrestrained indulgence of oneself.