My Childhood Friend Is An Archmage Chapter 108
Translated by d6y (ko-fi)
Chapter 108
Flustered, I snap my head toward Lancer. "What do you mean?"
"It's just a dream I've been having a lot, sometimes three or four times a week, sometimes almost every day." Unlike me, who was stuck for words, Lancer was calm.
No, calm is a bit of a stretch.
He shrugs it off as if he's seen it all too often and is sick of it. The usual smiling Lancer has an indifferent look on his face, he seems like a distant memory at this moment.
"In my dreams, I'm always crying, and then I go on a rampage, and everyone around me is crying because they're hurt, or they're not moving at all, and I always wake up screaming."
"...."
"When I wake up, it's always pitch black in my room. There's nothing around me, no curtains, no light coming in. My room is placed higher than the others, so no one can hear my voice."
"...."
"And so I lay there in a cold sweat, reliving the scenes from my dreams for a while. I don't want to remember, but when I close my eyes, I see the faces of those who suffered, one by one, and after tossing and turning on the bed for a long time, I finally fall asleep again."
As he recounts his story, Lancer's voice doesn't tremble.
He speaks slowly, one sentence after another, as if he's describing a piece of mere history.
"I used to think, 'How nice it would be if you were next to me. How nice it would be if you were the first thing I woke up from a nightmare and could see.’ Sometimes I even made a wish: Please let Skyla be next to me when I wake up. Maybe then those dreams would be less scary, and I could just laugh it off as a bad dream and go back to sleep…."
Our hands are intertwined. Whether it's because of me or Lancer, I can't tell.
Lancer….
I open my mouth to say something, but then realize I can't say anything. I'm tongue-tied. This is a story I've never heard before. I had no idea he had such nightmares….
I see him almost every morning, yet I never notice anything. I didn't know he was having such bizarre, scary nightmares all night.
He was always smiling. No matter what he was doing, he always had a smile on his face. He never forgot to put it on.
But….
Turns out he was plagued by such terrible dreams.
Is that why he sometimes dozes off in the afternoon…?
If he sat still, Lancer would fall asleep right away. His head would fall like a chicken on a drumstick.
I used to see him like that and just think that he's a fast sleeper. I wonder if it was the dreams that kept him up all night.
I jerk to sit upright.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, looking down at him.
His reply comes back like a boomerang.
"Because you didn't ask."
Lancer, lying on his side, glances at me. His blond hair seems glossy against the crisp white sheets.
For a moment, the portrait of Princess Bliss I saw so long ago overlaps his face.
"Why are you telling me this now? How long have you been having such terrifying nightmares?"
As the image of the dead princess's face flashes in my mind, an uncontrollable emotion wells up from deep within my chest.
"Why didn't you ever tell me? Just why?"
Even as I blurt those questions, I question myself.
Why am I so angry right now?
I don't know why, but for some reason, I want to ask Lancer in a tirade. Like a sharp arrow, I throw everything that's on my mind at him, one after another.
"You should have told me about that. Why were you sulking by yourself?"
"If I had told you, Skyla, you would have been worried. It wasn't something you could have done anything about." Lancer's calm, rational response comes out.
"What, so you just kept your mouth shut because you didn't want to worry me?" I ask again, not thinking anything through.
"Lancer, why are you so…. Why did you try to solve it on your own? If you'd told me, I could have—"
My voice stops right there.
I can't continue the sentence.
What would have happened if Lancer had told me?
What could I have done for him?
Would I have nagged him to stop having nightmares? Or would I have given him the bad advice that he shouldn't worry about them because they're all just dreams?
Was there something I could have done for Lancer?
In the midst of these thoughts, something shouts out.
No, there is!
"It's okay, Skyla." Lancer whispers with a gentle smile. "I don't have those dreams anymore. I sleep better these days. I don't wake up in the middle of the night anymore, and…."
"Lancer." I interrupt. "Aren’t you going to answer what I ask you?"
His words still ring in my ears. I can't comprehend anything else.
“Why didn't you tell me?”
“Because you didn't ask.”
He didn't tell me because I didn't ask?
A sinking feeling washes over me. My vision begins to blur.
This isn't the kind of relationship I want with Lancer.
"You're my friend."
The corners of my eyes burn.
"No, we're not friends anymore, we're lovers."
I'm going to burst into tears at any moment. If I continue, the emotions that have built up at the base of my throat will burst out.
"And then later, someday… you're going to be more than just a lover!"
Without realizing it, I reach out my hands and grab him by the shoulder. The touch startles him a little, but he doesn't pull away.
"I… want you to be a little more honest with me."
My hair sweeps down my face. Never before have I been so grateful to have long hair as I am at this moment, as it hides my eyes.
"I don't want you to hide anything from me, Lancer, and I'm going to try not to hide anything from you either, because...."
I get frustrated sometimes because I don't know what you're thinking.
I'm scared because I don't know what's going on in your mind.
I worry about what if what you think is different from what I think.
So….
"I like…. you. I like you." Those words slip out of me first, above all the others.
So let me get to know more about you.
Reach out to me first so I can see the parts of you that I haven't noticed.
I'm pretty insensitive, so I don't know unless you tell me directly.
A small smile tugs at the corners of Lancer's lips as he listens to me in silence, and then he takes the hand holding his shoulder.
"I like you too, Skyla." Bringing my hand to his face, Lancer whispers. "I just didn't want to worry you, and maybe I wasn't thinking straight. I'm sorry."
"If you're sorry, close your eyes."
"Why?"
"Because I'm crying and I look ugly right now." I jerk my head away, avoiding eye contact with him.
Lancer chuckles. "You never do, so don't worry about it and come here."
He gently pulls me toward him. I don't shy away from his touch.
"I can make your wish come true." I whisper, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand as I lay in his arms.
"What wish?"
"The one where you said you wanted me to be the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes," I say, quite brazenly. Hearing that, Lancer giggles and hugs me tighter.
"How can you make that wish come true?"
"You have to ask for it."
"Is it an unconditional wish?"
"Because it's a wish that only you can make, yes. Yes. It's an unconditional wish."
My ears are turning red again. I wonder what he thinks as I spout nonsense.
"That's cute."
"What?"
"You." Lancer slowly strokes my hair. "Skyla, I really like you."
With those words, I became the person who had everything.
* * *
When I return to the Kaerun Duchy, the servants are bustling about.
"We must wash the window sills so well that there is not a speck of dust on them!"
"Keep an eye on the marble floor, in case there's a stray lock of the lady's silver hair!"
The mansion came to life. Everyone runs around with cleaning equipment.
This includes Phoebe.
"What's going on, Phoebe?"
"My lady." Happened to be holding a bucket full of water in both hands, Phoebe turns to me and curtsies. "By order of Duke Kaerun, the entire mansion must be deep cleaned in preparation for the Crown Prince's visit."
‘The Crown Prince is finally coming to propose to my lady!’
At times like this, I feel a bit sorry for how perceptive Phoebe is.