Fix Smile Order Chapter 8
Translated by Pure
Edited by cookiecrunch
Chapter 8: Night at the County Office
The country government office was divided into the inner court and outer court.
The outer court was where official business was handled. Upon entering the entrance gate, one would pass through the outer office. After passing through the second gate and a short walk, one would see a grand lobby. This was the court area where the county magistrate sat during a hearing. On either side of the lobby hall were the money and grain depots and weapons depots, as well as the six divisions: House of Lì (officials and personnel), House of Hù (household and finance), House of Lǐ (rite and ceremony), House of Gōng (labor and repair), House of Xíng (corporal), and House of Bīng (soldiers and training), in which each division was in charge of various county affairs. Bypassing the lobby and passing through another gate, there was the second lobby. This lobby was called the "Retreat Hall", which meant retreat and make up for past work. The second hall was the place where the county magistrate worked on a daily basis, and some civil cases were also handled there.
Beyond the second hall was the inner court, which was the living place of the county officials and their subordinates.
Tan Lingyin, carrying a box by herself, led a few people all the way to the Southern Study in the Inner Court. The people behind her were the owner and the shop attendants of the Gutang Bookstore. She had arrested these strong men to help her move to her new home. The two bailiffs who helped her in the morning saw her and took the initiative to help. Tan Lingyin was an extrovert. After they walked together from the entrance gate to the Southern Study, which was not a long walk, she had already gotten acquainted with the two bailiffs.
The two bailiffs' names were Zhao Xiaoliu and Li Dawang, so Tan Lingyin called them ‘Xiaoliu ge[1]’ and ‘Dawang ge’. Seeing that this little commissioner was so humble, the two were even more optimistic about her.
Tang Tianyuan stood in the corridor and watched from a distance as Tan Lingyin and her entourage relocated while talking and laughing. He felt that he had unwittingly allowed a calamity to come into his doors.
At first, Tang Tianyuan found it hard to believe that Tan Lingyin was Miao Miao Sheng. After all, no one ever said that Miao Miao Sheng had to be a male pervert? Miao Miao Sheng was actually a female pervert. Moreover, Tan Lingyin's madness that drove people insane was very consistent with Miao Miao Sheng's book. Before Tang Tianyuan went south, he had planned to find Miao Miao Sheng and reason with her. Now, faced with a crazy woman, he found that he couldn't reason with her in a calm manner, and the only thing he wanted to do now was to repair Miao Miao Sheng.
Since she was staying right under his nose, he would surely repair her properly… someday in the future...
-
Tan Lingyin was very excited when she checked into the county government office. She couldn't hold back and wanted to find out more about the county government office the very day.
When most people want to hide their money, they would usually hide it near their homes: either digging a hole in their yard or even making a secret room. Even if it was not hidden at home, there would always be clues there.
In short, the most worth digging through was where the previous magistrate had lived.
It's a pity that the new county magistrate was not afraid of living in a dead person’s house and had chosen to live there.
This courtyard was separated by a wall. And the moon gate was the only entrance into the magistrate’s abode. Tan Lingyin stared at the moon gate for a while, and was stared back by the magistrate's arrow-like gaze. She awkwardly touched her nose and walked away as if nothing had happened.
It seemed that this county magistrate was extremely cautious of her, which left Tan Lingyin a little worried.
Since she couldn’t look during the day, then she would do so at night. Tan Lingyin had dinner and waited for a while. Assuming that the county magistrate should have gone to bed, she didn't wait for the dead of night and set out.
It was the fifteenth. The moon brightly lit the night sky– it was not good to wear black clothing, so Tan Lingyin chose to wear white. She was afraid of being mistaken for a thief, so she thought of an idea and scribbled on her face. Two big dark circles and a bloody mouth, so that even if someone were to see her, the other party would only think she was a ghost and piss their pants in terror.
The county magistrate's courtyard was already locked, so Tan Lingyin had no choice but to climb over the wall. Although the wall was not high, she struggled to turn over, and fell from the top of the wall.
Boom!
In the courtyard, Tang Tianyuan was startled. He followed the sound, looked towards the wall, and saw a white figure on the ground slowly get up, rubbing their butt.
Tang Tianyuan: "..."
He was naked at the moment...
Tang Tianyuan lived alone in this courtyard and due to the hot weather, he had no scruples. He preferred to take an outdoor bath at night as it was cooler. In the yard, he would fetch his own water and bath by the small lotus flower pond. Beside the rockery, smelling the fragrance of lotus, while taking a cool bath helped get rid of his daily fatigue.
Who would have guessed that someone had the audacity to come over the wall of the government’s office? Moreover, looking at their clumsiness, they hardly seemed qualified to be a thief.
Tang Tianyuan was puzzled but was soon shocked when the man in white turned around.
Was this... a ghost?
But it’s too ugly...
Because he was too shocked, Tang Tianyuan forgot to react for a while, and saw the female ghost—judging from the hairstyle, it should be a female ghost—come over. She opened her hands and tiptoed, her mouth grinned slightly, revealing her little white teeth, which contrasted sharply with the bloody mouth.
Tang Tianyuan always felt that she was laughing in a lewd manner. His heart was fluttering, not because he was afraid, but because... He silently pulled a towel and wrapped it around his waist. He would bury his grievances if he was molested a couple of times by women. However, to be molested by a female ghost, and even such an ugly one, then he might as well die.
The female ghost walked out of the shadows cast by the walls and trees, allowing Tang Tianyuan to see her face in the moonlight.
How foolish. Tang Tianyuan held his forehead, somewhat despising himself. He had never believed in ghosts and such, so why was he so muddleheaded just now? Although it looked terrifying, it was just a person with special makeup.
Tang Tianyuan didn't understand anymore. Why would there be a girl who painted herself ugly and sneaked into the county magistrate's yard at night?
Moreover, why wasn’t she shy to see a naked man in front of her? She even laughed lustfully and continued to walk forward?
She shouldn’t be a female flower thief [2], right?
...To pick flowers with such makeup could indeed achieve the purpose of torturing men.
Of course, there was another possibility—that the girl didn't see him at all.
For her to be unable to notice him in such proximity, it could only be one person.
Tan Lingyin indeed didn't see him. Tang Tianyuan stood beside the rockery, blending in the moonlight. Unless she specifically looked for him, it would be difficult to spot him. Seeing that the room was lit, Tan Lingyin wanted to see what the County Magistrate was doing before executing her next action, so she paid no attention to the rockery at all. When she walked to the side of the rockery, she unconsciously held the "rockery", but she didn't feel the usual coldness, but a soft... fabric?
Tan Lingyin was astonished and pulled the fabric unconsciously. Just as she was about to pull it off, the fabric pulled back. She felt it was strange and squinted to only find out it was a person's waist!
Tan Lingyin was shocked, could it be that the rockery had become a demon!?
She dared to look up and came face to face with the darkening countenance of the county magistrate.
"Ahouuwuu!!!" Tan Lingyin screamed and ran away. Because the magistrate was naked, and in order to express her restraint, Tan Lingyin ran while covering her eyes with her hands. She was already nearsighted, and covering her eyes made her even more blind. She darted around like a headless fly, hit a tree, bounced backwards, and fell to the ground.
Tang Tianyuan: "..."
He walked over, squatted down and looked carefully at the fainted person on the ground. He was now sure that it was Tan Lingyin. Tang Tianyuan supported his forehead and shook his head weakly.
How much sun and moon essence must be absorbed to grow into such a wonderful flower?
Tang Tianyuan got dressed, came back to hold Tan Lingyin by her back collar, and threw her out the gate. He wasn't worried that someone would take the opportunity to molest her—When encountering such an ugly person, let alone a person, even a ghost would remain soft.
.
.
.
Footnotes:
[1] ge - (哥) an honorific term meaning “big brother”, used as a polite address for a man.
[2] flower thief- basically another word for rapist.