EnCoffin Me Chapter 79
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 79
The audience was crying buckets over the livestream. Not wanting to suffer alone, they began enthusiastically recommending it to others.
【Trust me! It's sweet! Princess Xixi is the best in the world!】
【Atop the castle, petals rained down, and they embraced like it was a once-in-a-century moment!】
【The princess and the dragon are each other's true love! It's real! (screaming)】
The onlookers didn't understand at first, but under such strong recommendations, some felt a little tempted and decided to take a look—
Only to be pierced right through the heart.
【Waaah, it's so sweet I cried huhuwaaah!】
【I have to share this huge candy with the whole world! Especially with my beloved madames! Madames, time to produce content!】
Suddenly, the madames who were targeted slowly typed out a question mark.
Sparrow Nestling in Thorns, who became incredibly popular with his cat stickers, reacted quickly. Just as this bizarre trend of knife recommendation reached its peak, he posted an update on the Epic Pair's personal website, including a handwritten note related to the game livestream.
@Epic Pair - Sparrow Nestling in Thorns: As long as as my hands are full of candies, no knife can reach me! (fierce face)”【Video】
He was recognized in the fandom for his preference for making retro-style hand-drawn animations, known for their excellent production, intense rendering, clearly showing his professional training. Now, with such a fierce expression, he declared he would use ‘candies’ to counteract the ‘knives.’ The many fans of the Epic Pair who had been emotionally tormented, poured in, willing to settle for even just candy crumbs!
Surprisingly, this time Sparrow Nestling in Thorns truly delivered. This was real sweetness! A huge dose of sweetness!
He used the currently popular song ‘Puppet Strings,’ originally a slightly yandere track, but somehow it fit perfectly with this animation. The opening showed the dragon being hunted down, and the princess with black hair and red eyes crying in a pool of blood. Yet in the next scene, the princess slowly lifted his gaze, a flame of vengeance burning in his red eyes.
The princess became a lich, gradually gathering the dragon's scales, horns, flesh, and bones. Finally, under powerful magic, these dragon fragments transformed into a complete dragon egg, nurturing the hope of new life. Cradling the dragon egg in his arms, the princess hid his sword hand behind his back and smiled at the decaying, absurd kingdom.
Puppet strings pierced through the guards who harbored ill intentions towards the princess. In the interwoven scenes, there was the princess and the dragon's first eye contact across a multitude of people at a grand banquet of old. White text appeared on a black background. Like an old silent film, that line of white text shook continuously.
【They met.】
The puppet strings wrapped around the stern and sinister head maid. The dragon kissed the princess' hand. He looked up, his vertical dragon pupils filled with affection.
【The dragon fell in love with the princess.】
The puppet strings trapped the king and queen. The dragon and princess danced gracefully in the ballroom. The princess showed the brightest and happiest smile she had ever had.
【The princess fell in love with the dragon.】
The puppet strings finally tightened around the necks of the priest and the chief judge. The puppet stage rose, and the princess lay against the backdrop, resting his cheek on his arm. The other skeletal hand held tangled strings. He smiled sweetly, holding the entire kingdom in his palm.
The hero arrived, weary and dust-covered, wielding the holy sword, intending to slay the princess who had completely fallen and became a lich. But he was too late. The priest placed the king's crown on the princess' head. The chief judge revised the laws that crushed love. The king and queen were sentenced to spend the rest of their lives in the high tower. The guards' eyes were hollow, their weapons gleaming as they welcomed the hero with deadly intent.
On the throne, the princess, now crowned queen, tilted his head with a light smile. Beside his was the reborn dragon, who bowed his head and kissed the crown of the queen's head.
The scene from the grand banquet appeared again, but this time no one came to disturb it. The queen wore the same outfit he had as a princess, dancing freely with the dragon. The puppet-like guards with vacant eyes applauded on the sidelines, while the queen's red hair ribbon fluttered beautifully with the spin.
【This body has become—】
【The witch who destroyed the kingdom.】
The comments had completely gone wild. This hand-drawn animation was definitely the hottest topic in the Epic Pair recently! It was so captivating, satisfying, had a happy ending full of sugar! Sparrow was a genius! The Epic Pair was unbreakable, even by apocalypse.
Lucius glanced briefly at the comments but paid little attention. Instead, he looked up at Alexio. Both of them had the day off. Alexio was on the middle level of the cat-climbing tree, trying to tempt U to climb up. But U was timid and humble. It even suspected this was a test from Dage to see if it had any hidden intentions, especially since erge was right there watching.
(T/N: erge — second big brother)
Alexio scratched his head, perplexed by this cat that couldn't climb well, but he soon gave up and opened a can of wet food for U instead.
U: I knew it's a test! Look, Dage rewarded me with a can?!
Lucius had been casually watching the two cats communicating through their quirky logic when suddenly, his lightbrain received a message. He glanced at it. It was from Epic Pair Admin No. 7, one of the few friends he had added. There were many other messages, all from friends he'd added in the fandom. Lucius opened one, and it was full of consolation.
【Epic Pair Admin No. 7: Sparrow, don't worry for now. We're investigating who leaked the animation outside the fandom.】
【Epic Pair Admin No. 7: Meanwhile, don't reply to anyone, and don't open your Pupil. Some things being said aren't very pleasant.】
Outside the fandom? Lucius raised an eyebrow and immediately opened his Pupil. He found three trending topics:
【Witch who Destroyed the Kingdom】
【Puppet Strings】
【Epic Pair】
Well, that was intense.
His original intention in creating contents was just to help Alexio get some attention, but now the content had clearly gone viral beyond their fandom. Scanning some related comments, he saw that at first, some people couldn't accept the so-called ‘Epic Pair’ CP. But Admin No. 7 was tough. Within a short time, they had identified the person who had broken the rules by leaking the content. That person had apologized tearfully through the lightbrain. Admin No. 7 then called on others who had shared the content to delete it.
【@Epic Pair Admin No. 7: We sincerely apologize for the mismanagement. The situation has now been fully handled. Everything has been handled, please see the link below for the relevant statement and apology. Here, the Epic Pair site sincerely apologizes to Sparrow, who was affected, and to the two resurrected ones we truly love. We are deeply sorry.】
At first, the comments were understanding. But gradually, things started to take a strange turn.
【Um, sorry, but… could we not delete it? QvQ】
【I—I also… Can I keep it? It's so good, really, so good! (sobbing)】
【Save the children abused by the game's livestream! Save the children! We finally got some sweetness!】
【I ship History Book and Xixi as friends, but that doesn't stop me from loving the Witch who Destroyed the Kingdom and the Reborn Dragon!】
Epic Pair Admin No. 7: ???
【@Epic Pair Admin No. 7: Sorry, but no, it has to be deleted. Madame Sparrow only authorized internal sharing within our site. We never intended for Epic Pair content to spread beyond our fandom.】
【Uwaaaaa!】
【Crying until I pass out. Please share a link to the Epic Pair site! I want to join and feast on more food!】
Admin No. 7 didn't respond further. She hadn't planned to promote the site anyway. Those who truly wanted to ship could find it with a little effort. She was busy reporting the situation to Sparrow Nestling in Thorns, who generously said it was fine. That only made Admin No. 7 feel more guilty. Just as she was about to say something else, a special alert pinged in her personal feed, and her expression shifted instantly. She rushed to check it.
Any post from the epic pair triggered an immediate notification for her.
【@Lucius: Cat eating. [Image]】
The attached image showed Alexio tasting the chicken breast he had prepared for U. He seemed to have already eaten half a bowl. U lay beside him, looking timid and pitiful.
Lately, Alexio and Lucius had been posting frequently. Many were reposts related to the Carnival, while others featured hardcore content like griffin training or sea serpent handling. But there were also plenty of peaceful, quiet everyday moments. Admin No. 7 thought it was absolutely perfect that the two of them lived together. They got along so well that it worked both as a friendship and a romance CP. It was incredibly satisfying.
After enjoying the post, Admin No. 7 closed the page and went back to managing the site. That was when she noticed an overwhelming number of failed entry exam records.
Admin No. 7: ???
Lucy stared at the failed result on her screen, her eyes drooping in disappointment. She had tried hard to remember the answers, but there were some questions she genuinely didn't know. For the ones she didn't understand, she didn't even guess. She just left them blank. As expected, she didn't pass.
But she really wanted to watch that animation again. The one about the princess who became the queen and lived happily ever after with the dragon.
She felt the princess, who seemed to share some traits with Alexio, was so brave. It made her long to be like that. She especially loved the scene where the princess danced at the end, wearing a red ribbon in her hair. That vivid color felt like a blazing flame of courage, burning away all obstacles between her and the dragon.
Lucy wanted to see it again so badly. She had finally managed to find the site, only to get stuck on the quiz.
“What's wrong, Lucy?” Zhen asked beside her, holding a bowl of porridge. These days, they had a set schedule of lessons. Occasionally, when Alexio had time, he would teach them more practical skills. The carefree days at the beginning were long gone. Lucy hesitated for a moment, then showed him the screen. Zhen took the quiz and failed miserably.
“This is so hard. Some of the questions are from before I even met Alexi…” Zhen puffed out his cheeks in frustration, then suddenly lit up. “Wait, didn't Dondon meet Alexi way earlier than we did? He probably knows a lot more. Let's go find him and figure out the answers together.”
Lucy thought it was a great idea. Zhen's brain was always quite useful. Helgodon had always been more diligent than them when it came to lessons, especially on training days. To build physical endurance, he usually only ate two meals a day, so he was likely still training now. But they could head over first and wait for him to take a break.
There was still time before the lunch break ended. They headed to the training field inside the conservation center, and as soon as they entered, they heard sounds coming from inside. The wolf-eared boy was flung through the air, but he showed no fear. His ears twitched slightly as he kicked off the wall and lunged at Augustus. Ever since his awakening, Helgodon's physical abilities had been visibly improving day by day. Originally, Augustus could subdue him with just one hand, but now, even a moment of lost focus might get him knocked down.
After a few rounds, they called it a draw. Helgodon lifted his shirt to wipe the sweat from his forehead, his wolf-like ears twitching in the direction of Zhen and Lucy. He had noticed them earlier but hadn't had a chance to stop.
“Dondon!” Zhen waved him over. “Come here! Let's work on this quiz together!”
“……”
Helgodon suddenly didn't feel like going over. He was reminded of those terrifying written exams.
Sensing he was about to run, Lucy acted immediately. Bone bars shot up from the ground, forming a cage. Helgodon's reaction was impressively quick. He twisted his body midair to avoid it. But before he could land, Zhen had already blocked his escape route, smiling cheerfully at him.
“Why are you running? It's not like we're asking you to study.”
Zhen thought that even if the three of them were novices, they should at least be able to finish one set of questions together.
…In the end, they all failed pitifully.
Lucy originally wanted to just give up, but then Zhen went to find Ellie, and they seemed to have finally found the right person.
Lucy dutifully finished her afternoon classes. It wasn't until free time in the evening that she took out her lightbrain. On the screen, the black-haired, red-eyed princess was spinning through the ballroom with the dragon. Lucy placed a hand gently over her chest.
Slowly, she stood up and, following the princess' movements, twirled a few small circles. After spinning, she glanced down at herself, then took off her oversized black cloak to reveal the dark blue dress beneath.
She spun a few more times, the hem of her dress flaring like a blooming flower.
She didn't know exactly what she was feeling at that moment. She just kept turning, again and again, spinning from one end of the room to the other. As she twirled, she flexed her fingers slightly. In the corner, a pile of scattered bones came together to form a humanoid skeleton. It reached out, took her hand, and the young lich twirled in dance under the skeleton's lead.
Her dancing was far from graceful, but she was genuinely happy.
Beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows, the vast, silver-blue waters of the Emerald Inner Sea shimmered with gentle waves.
Inside the room, as the dance came to an end, the young lich lifted her skirt lightly and curtsied to the skeleton.