EnCoffin Me Chapter 7
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 7
Alexio thought that if the situation worsened, he might become the first vampire to mediate between a human saint and a unicorn. But it was the saint who spoke first.
“I hold the laws of this world in deep respect,” the saint said with steady eyes. His gaze briefly flicked to Alexio, then discreetly withdrew. “Before understanding the full situation, I will not take any unnecessary actions. I hope your side can provide me with some explanation.”
Andrei responded promptly, “Of course.”
He then turned to Alexio, his polite smile gradually becoming sincere.
“Your accommodations for the next seven days have already been arranged. I imagine you must be quite tired. How about Ellie escort you there?”
Alexio had no objections but added one comment.
“If possible, have his head checked. He might have slept his brains out.”
Andrei agreed without hesitation. Ellie then led Alexio to the room prepared for him. All the curtains in the corridor had been completely drawn, making the entire way dim, ensuring that the sunlight would not harm the vampire. It made Alexio feel quite comfortable.
As for the lunatic? He wasn't too worried. As a a high-ranking vampire, teleportation was second nature to him, especially when dealing with a lunatic…
A lunatic who had taken one of his buttons.
The saint followed Andrei willingly, ready for the examination. He wasn't concerned the vampire would escape. After all…
He had a button in his hand, still carrying the other's scent.
Ellie walked ahead with light steps, clearly genuinely happy. She silently praised the gods many times. This caretaker contract was simply a dream come true. She had become a caretaker for the vampire!
“Prince Alexio… Alexi.” She remembered the vampire's words and quickly corrected herself, carefully observing the vampire's reaction.
Alexio lifted his eyelids to look at her, a winding tattoo tracing near his right eye.
Aaah, how handsome he was!
“I'll, uh, introduce myself first! You can just call me Ellie. I have eight years of experience serving dark creatures. Before, I mainly dealt with dark elves. This time, I underwent special training for half a year in advance, but unfortunately, there's really too little information about vampires… If I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, please be sure to tell me!”
Feeling like she was rambling, Ellie silently thumped her chest in frustration.
What a chicken! How come she wasn't this nervous when her supervisor caught her driving a car on the forum!
(T/N: driving a car — internet slang term that refers to the act of telling dirty jokes, sharing (p*rn*graphic) torrent links, or distributing adult content resources to others.)
Alexio sensed her nervousness and lowered his eyelids again.
“Mm.”
An awkward silence fell.
Alexio looked at the poor girl walking ahead of him, her arms and legs moving awkwardly out of sync, and let out a silent sigh.
“I'm a bit curious,” he said casually, sparking a topic. “Why did the center choose you to be my… caretaker?”
Alexio felt a slight embarrassment at the last word.
It was like a thunderbolt struck.
Ellie abruptly stopped in her tracks, her scalp tingling! She must have seemed too unprofessional and was being disliked!
“…Just asking.”
Ellie immediately perked up again! But the answer to this question…
The human stood with her back to Alexio, her posture stiff. If seen from the front, it would be clear that cold sweat was already breaking out all over Ellie's forehead.
What to do… what to… what to do…
Tears welled in her eyes. She clenched her teeth and opened her mouth several times, trying to explain the very reason she had long since buried deep in the eighteenth layer of hell, but she just couldn't get the words out.
“Can't say?” Alexio assumed he had touched upon a sensitive topic, so he decided to drop it.
“No, no, no, I can't!”
“???”
So, could she say it or not?
The human's back shook violently, as if she was engaged in a fierce mental struggle.
“…Let's change the topic.”
“Because!” Suddenly, she spun around, her hands slapping over her face in embarrassment.
“Because my supervisor caught me driving a vampire car on the forum, and said it was very research-intensive, huhuhuhuhu…”
Alexio was completely confused. What car? Did vampires even have cars?
After telling the truth, Ellie switched into a calm, sage-like mode. She slowly lowered her hands, her cheeks still flushed from embarrassment, but she professionally opened the door to Alexio's room.
“This is the room prepared especially for you…” she held back a sob. “You'll soon familiarize yourself with these internet slangs. I hope you don't dislike me because of this. Before taking this position, I already signed an agreement promising never to engage in related topics again, huhuhu.”
Who in heavens knew that the vampire race, officially declared extinct, could make a comeback! Before Alexio awoke, vampires were by far the most delicious. Their feeding and turning rituals were irresistibly hot. Their popularity skyrocketed on forums, spawning a massive amount of fanfics.
Creations that only utilized racial lore without involving real people or hidden metaphors were allowed. Creators just needed to be mindful of whether the content was intended for the general audience or the adult section. Ellie used to be a prolific contributor to such works, even conducting extensive research that showcased her deep understanding of vampire biology, which earned her the title of ‘Madame’ in the fandom.
Then her supervisor uncovered the truth. The supervisor had intended to recruit this knowledgeable Madame, only to discover that she was none other than their own subordinate. With no problematic history, outstanding abilities, and most importantly, a deep passion for dark creatures, Ellie stood out after six months of training and became the sole caretaker of this last remaining vampire.
As for the rule that she couldn't create any more fan content after accepting the job…
She had gotten the real deal, so what more could she ask for!
Ellie — the one who reached the pinnacle of life through passionate driving.
Alexio didn't yet know about the quirky rise of the caretaker before him. Since he would understand the terms later, he decided to address it then. He stepped into the room prepared especially for him and couldn't help but be slightly impressed by the care the center had taken.
The room was definitely dimly lit. Thick curtains blocked out sunlight, and the glass had a special coating as a second layer of protection. The room was very tall, likely combining two floors, with crisscrossing beams overhead, all shrouded in shadow.
“Because some records say vampires can fly, I modeled these beams on the flying spaces of fallen angels,” Ellie said with some embarrassment. “I personally oversaw most of the interior design. The main motif is roses, and the overall layout is based on a room from an ancient castle unearthed from the previous era…”
Alexio ran his hand over a carved armchair, which was upholstered with dark velvet cushions, exuding a very atmospheric vibe.
“The curtains can be drawn open. Since the windows have a special coating, you don't have to worry about direct sunlight.” Seeing Alexio approach the window, Ellie quickly hurried over and, after receiving his permission, slowly drew the curtains open.
“It's very safe, because vampires can have serious problems when exposed to sunlight.”
Alexio nodded. For most vampires, sunlight was indeed deadly.
Ellie pulled the curtains aside with one hand and pressed a hidden button nearby with the other.
“I also added a special effect for you, since it's said that castles inhabited by dark creatures often have this kind of atmosphere…”
Alexio was a little puzzled. He watched as Ellie pressed the button, and then thunder rumbled through the room. A bolt of lightning flashed outside the window, illuminating everything inside with sharp clarity. Under the lightning, the castle-style decor took on a sinister and eerie aura, as if a demon king was about to laugh maniacally or a vampire was about to drop a blood-drained corpse.
Alexio: ……
What a cliché scene!
Ellie looked at him expectantly. It was clearly her masterpiece, so Alexio could only silently nod in response.
It was impressive that she could recreate it to this extent.
After showing him the room and explaining some basic facilities, Ellie left a guidebook and some introductory reading materials. She then excused herself, saying she didn't want to disturb his rest, but not before asking, “When would you like to have your next meal?”
Having food meant regaining strength, and the unpicky Alexio certainly wouldn't refuse.
“Around evening will be fine.”
Ellie made an ‘okay’ gesture with her hand.
“Then, should I pour the blood into a wine bottle and bring you a goblet? I read in some records that vampires even label their blood collections. Would you like that?”
Alexio shook his head repeatedly. Another cliché! What kind of rubbish were these remaining records?
“A blood bag will do.”
“All right, I'll bring you a straw then.”
“…Fine.”
Ellie quietly closed the door, leaving Alexio alone in the room. He closed his eyes and sensed around. There was no sign of surveillance. He reached out to the carved armchair that looked so comfortable and sank into it, closing his eyes gently.
He had taken in too much information today. This world ten thousand years later was strange in every way.
And then there was that lunatic who probably lost his memories…
He had only closed his eyes for a short while when he suddenly remembered something. He sat up, placing his right hand over his left chest.
That heart no longer beat.
Then, an incredible simulation began. His heart started to beat, blood flowed through his veins, and his body temperature rose… Alexio carefully simulated every detail, just as he had before falling asleep, as if he were an ordinary human being.
After finishing, he sat silently for a while, then shook off the unnecessary emotions and picked up the thin lightbrain. Following Ellie's instructions, he scanned his pupil. The screen popped up and floated to a position that felt comfortable for him.
On the desktop was an eye icon, a sharply defined black-and-white pupil. Alexio tapped it, and a colorful display appeared before him. Ellie had said he could watch previous livestream replays here, and if he had any trouble operating it, he could call on the built-in guide installed in the lightbrain.
Without much effort, Alexio found his own image right in the center of the homepage. Most of the surrounding panels also showed his image, accompanied by some phrases he didn't quite understand.
He clicked on the central one, intending to check the barrage of comments he had heard so many times before.
At that moment, he suddenly looked up.
The lunatic's presence was gone.
Silence hung between the saint and Andrei as they ascended vertically in the elevator. He sensed the distance between the vampire and himself gradually increasing, but still within his sensory range. The distance had now increased by… huh?
The world before his eyes suddenly went dark. The saint faintly heard Andrei's urgent calls.
“Mr. Lucius? Mr. Lucius!”
Then everything went completely black. Before losing consciousness, he thought of the new term he had just heard.
He seemed to have… shut down.