EnCoffin Me Chapter 11
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 11
Alexio, with two candies in his pocket, was in a particularly good mood today. He parted ways with the lunatic at the entrance. When Ellie returned after a short while, she was carrying a variety of delicacies from the center, along with a jar of fresh, sweet fish soup, clearly a gift from Zhu Heng.
Ellie sat down with a file in hand. It was about the revenue from the last livestream, and she needed to inform Alexio properly.
“Eat something, there's so much of it.” Alexio didn't mind sharing food. After all, it was given by the center. Ellie, on the other hand, was so moved that her eyes welled up with tears.
“C-Can I make a post?!”
So cute, waaah, he doesn't mind sharing his food at all!
Alexio paused for a moment, then casually nodded. Cradling a small bowl of soup, he continued browsing on his lightbrain. Through his friends list, he slowly made his way to Ellie's account, curious about what she usually posted.
@Vampire Caretaker Ellie: Having dinner with this cutie is more than I can handle!!!
@Vampire Caretaker Ellie: The little cutie handed me a tissue!!! (nosebleed)
@Vampire Caretaker Ellie: And he can use a spoon all by himself, and he's so good at it!!!
@Vampire Caretaker Ellie: The little cutie is full! Ah, I'd better hurry and eat too!
Alexio regretted it, though he deeply respected Ellie's typing speed.
As soon as she finished posting the last update, Ellie lowered her head and began eating in earnest. After quickly finishing her meal, she looked up and saw Alexio folding the biodegradable lunchbox, skillfully tossing it into the sensor trash can.
Ellie: !!!
He actually knew how to use the lunchbox and trash can right away!!!
Too shocked, she grew sentimental in a later post:
【He's so smart and so cute. The moment I heard the trash can lid close, my heart trembled. I knew that from this moment on, the world belonged to him.】
At this moment, Alexio had no idea what kind of nonsense Ellie had post. He had read the usage instructions on the lunchbox and, without much effort, disposed of it properly. Then he began going through the documents Ellie had brought.
He stared at the number marked as the livestream revenue.
Alexio: ???
He pulled up his lightbrain again and checked the housing prices he had looked up the day before.
Alexio: ……
His life goal had vanished!
“…Is this livestream income written correctly?” Alexio couldn't help asking. The question startled Ellie. She took the document back and looked it over carefully. After a moment, she sighed in relief.
“No, no, I actually thought I'd written too little. I was scared to death.”
“……”
“This is actually the income after the platform's cut, but dark creatures get policy discounts. Once I finish the procedures for you tomorrow, that portion will be refunded.”
Alexio: ……
He asked about the amount to be refunded, took a deep breath, and set the documents down.
The renovation was finally settled. Good enough.
However, on second thought, he had to give a portion of the money to the lunatic. When he rewatched the livestream yesterday, there were only a few scattered comments suspecting that something else might've been inside the coffin. The lunatic's existence seemed to have been deliberately concealed, and the officials didn't mention him at all. The coffin was probably brought by the lunatic, and combined with what he heard before he was sealed, the resurrection must have also been part of the lunatic's plan.
Speaking of that lunatic…
“Does the Conservation Center have no plans to announce the news about the lunat… Lucius?” Alexio asked.
“I was just about to discuss this with you,” Ellie said. “The center's idea is to do it through your livestream.”
“…Hm?”
Ellie's account had been buzzing all night. Later, she even added a set of gifs showing Alexio handing her a spoon.
This hateful woman was making people so envious, ahhhh!!!
【I'm so stupid, really. I was so focused on the fact that I couldn't see Xixi, and no one else could either, but I forgot there was someone lurking right beside Xixi...】
【Ahhh, I'll just say it straight up! One-on-one! Madam, come out and fight me one-on-one!】
【If you hadn't said it, I would have forgotten that this is one of our own people successfully rising to the top… (weeping) (weeping)】
Ellie, who could make herself into an influential Madame online, clearly knew how to stir up hot topics. The next day, she brought Alexio a blood bag right on schedule. They had already agreed on the process yesterday. After Alexio had eaten his fill, she unexpectedly started the livestream.
【!!!】
【Grandma! The vampire you love so much is livestreaming! Although it's not his own channel!】
【Unacceptable! I haven't even washed my face yet! And I'm already watching Xixi's livestream straight away!】
【Go wash up, everyone!】
【Wash my ass! You'll compensate me for every second I miss?!】
Ellie began editing the livestream description: Screenshots allowed, GIFs allowed, reposts allowed, fan works permitted. Make sure as many people see this as possible. She also made sure to specify: All livestream earnings will go to Alexio.
A flood of gifts started pouring into Ellie's livestream room like crazy.
Ellie even considerately set up the comment assistant for Alexio so he could see the barrage of comments scrolling like an avalanche. Alexio glanced at it once, then tossed the empty blood bag into the trash bin.
“I'm full.”
【Ahhh, Xixi just spoke!!!】
【Being full is good, being full is wonderful! Eat more and grow quickly!】
【Xixi uses the trash can so well!!!】
What kind of weird praise was that? He was a dark creature, not an idiot.
Taking the opportunity, Ellie introduced today's schedule to the viewers. They planned to visit the non-restricted area of the conservation center and try to interact with other dark creatures, which happened to be very suitable for livestreaming.
She even proudly showed Alexio her camera.
“It's called Hongguang.”
(T/N: Hongguang — it's a mini EV 🚗💨)
【Pfft!】
【Nice, speeding all the way up Mount Akina! That's definitely Madame!】
The camera followed Alexio to the door next door. The live comments initially filled with confusion, not understanding why he didn't just walk in. But as Alexio knocked, the tone of the messages twisted instantly.
【Hahahahaha, the kitty is knocking!】
【OMG, someone make a gif of this please hahaha!】
Alexio didn't see the comments. He looked at the lunatic who opened the door, noticing the obvious dark circles under his eyes.
“Did you stay up all night again?”
The saint let out an ‘mm’ in response, glanced at the camera following Alexio, said nothing, and shut his door. Ellie had already gotten his consent yesterday. Lucius didn't particularly care if his existence became public knowledge, so he agreed. What troubled him more was something else.
He opened his personal lightbrain and brought up a page.
“What's this?”
The page showed that Alexio had transferred a significant sum of money to him, which he found absurd. A vampire giving a hunter money? Protection fees?
“That?” Alexio said casually, “You have a share in the resurrection livestream, so of course you get a cut. I'm not about to be greedy over this little bit of yours.”
Lucius: ???
The live comments: ???
【Wait, what just happened?】
【Is he the cameraman? What does it mean that he also gets a share of the revenue livestream?】
【Holy shit so handsome! Holy shit so handsome! This face-con is fully satisfied!】
【Handsome, sure, but way too bright. White really isn't kind to the eyes. I feel like the surrounding light index has increased.】
【Hahaha, don't even mention it. A light smog is erupting outside my window, and I've run out of masks…】
“I'm not taking it,” Lucius flatly refused.
“Take it!” Alexio glared at him.
“No.”
“Take it!”
The transfer records refreshed wildly on both their lightbrains. Their hands moved so fast they left afterimages. This was no longer about accepting or refusing money, nor was it a subtle war of politely refusing New Year's red envelopes. This was a fight to the death.
Ellie and the viewers watched in stunned silence.
At this rate, it would never end. Lucius didn't even lift his eyes. He was locked in a tough battle.
“Three seconds,” he said simply.
“Ellie, time it,” Alexio agreed.
Ellie blankly called out “Start,” timed three seconds, then yelled “Stop.” The vampire stared at the screen, so annoyed his little fangs showed. Lucius, on the other hand, smiled happily. He had won this round. He knew the payment app better than Alexio.
“We'll continue tonight!” Alexio huffed.
Lucius gave a victorious, tolerant smile, signaling he was ready anytime. He would definitely win.
【Don't give it to him! Give it to me! Give it to me!!!】
【Such a lunatic, but kinda sweet…】
【So who exactly is this guy?】
Ellie kept a moderate distance behind them, watching the comments roll in. She was just about to explain, but then the two ahead of her suddenly turned it into a speed-walking contest, each fighting to stay half a step in front. Her camera, an older model, struggled to keep up. Dizzy and disoriented, it eventually gave up and floated back to hover beside Ellie, looking utterly lost.
“It's okay, they'll be back soon. They don't know the way,” Ellie said affectionately, stroking her camera's ‘head’ and interacting with the audience. “I can only say the real purpose of this livestream is to introduce that person to everyone, and Alexi agreed as well.
“That coffin… it was for two.”
The comments section fell silent for a moment, then exploded. Several truth-seekers who had questioned if there was something else in the coffin during the resurrection livestream appeared, posting detailed evidence proving there had indeed been another person inside. Soon after, the hashtag #CoffinForTwo went viral.
Another strange topic also took off.
#What's it like sharing a bed with Xixi for ten thousand years?#
The comments below were all the same.
【Thanks for asking! He's flexible in the waist, I'm awesome, we're super happy!】
And an even weirder topic also went viral.
#Someone from the team please switch cameras so we can watch the racewalking#
The last viral topic was completely expected.
#XixiTripleKill#
Alexio was oblivious to these topics. He'd spent the day trading blows with that lunatic, and now, with a full stomach, sleepiness crept in. So he went to bed without a second thought. That was just how vampires lived, doing exactly as they pleased, guided solely by whim. When happy, he might bother to look things up; when tired, sleep always took priority.
Before bed, he struggled to transfer money to the lunatic once more, only for it to be instantly sent back. Grumbling, he finally fell asleep.
Next door, Lucius stayed up all night again. He finished today's journal entries (or so he said). But even though his body was exhausted, he couldn't fall asleep. If he couldn't sleep tonight either, he decided he would visit the medical department tomorrow to find out what was wrong.
He browsed information on his lightbrain to induce sleepiness. Most of it was about the day's livestream. The influence of the resurrected vampire was truly terrifying. He read some posts, learned some terms he didn't understand, then suddenly his scrolling stopped.
A cartoon gif appeared under his finger: a vampire with cat ears on his head, pawing at a door, captioned ‘cat knocking.’
The art style was refined, very cu…
Before the thought fully formed, a sudden sharp pain stabbed his left eye. The intense sting quickly spread through his brain, tearing apart the idea he had just begun to entertain. Lucius abruptly stood from his seat and took a deep breath. The blurred reflection on the glass table showed his face—
A flicker of silver shone in his left eye.
The saint reached out to touch his left eye, his fingertip trembling slightly from the pain.
The moment he touched it, a memory surfaced. His mentor stood with his back to him, uttering a maxim meant to be remembered for life.
【My child, in the saint's eyes, there is only black and white.】
【You must hate the darkness, and love the light.】
The old man turned around, his expression stern, adding the final word to mark the time limit—
【Forever.】