EnCoffin Me Chapter 100
Translated by Q the Panda (ko-fi)
Chapter 100
As soon as Alexio got home, he went straight to the lunatic's vegetable garden. The lunatic was very fond of his vegetables. He usually came to check on them right after work, but that fondness didn't stop him from eating them.
“Lucius!” Alexio called out from behind the fence. “Are you done picking tomatoes? I have something to ask—”
Alexio fell silent. He watched as U moved busily between the rows like a diligent laborer, while the lunatic stood there leisurely, snipping off tomatoes one by one. Without even bending down, he tossed them, and U always managed to catch them and place them neatly in the basket.
“……”
As expected of the lunatic, with all his memories recovered, he was acting like a heartless, exploitative landlord now!
“What is it?” the saint asked calmly, showing not a shred of guilt for exploiting a poor little kitty.
“You've been to Beizhu City, right? How much do you know about the imperial son of the eastern faction?”
The saint paused for a moment, scissors in hand. He straightened up and looked at Alexio.
“Why the sudden interest in the imperial son?”
Alexio gave a brief account of what had been going on with Zhen lately. The saint's expression didn't change much, as if he had already known.
“He's just starting to remember.”
“Starting to remember…?”
“Yes. I never told you before, but we're not the only ones who've resurrected in this era. There are a few forms of resurrection. The two of us returned with both body and soul intact, which is the most common way, granted by divine aid.”
Alexio thought of Theo.
“Then what about Theo…”
“He likely returned midway. Don't you feel that…” The saint gave a seemingly casual look that was actually laced with something close to prejudice. “He suddenly got more cowardly and clever?”
“……”
Indeed!
“The last resurrected one is Zhen.”
The news surprised Alexio a little. He couldn't see any trace of a person from ten thousand years ago in Zhen. Even if he was a resurrected being, he probably didn't retain his past memories.
“Now that the two pillars have risen, and as Qizhi's guardian, he's gradually growing stronger. His memories will return bit by bit. Don't worry, it's not a bad thing, so long as he makes it through the process of recovery.”
This time, Alexio stayed silent for a while before suddenly asking another question.
“You seem to know a lot about Zhen and the eastern faction. Ten thousand years ago, when you went to Beizhu City…” He looked up. “What was your purpose?”
The saint chuckled softly.
“On the surface, I was a member of the Holy Temple, sent to carry out the plan to destroy the last pillar. But behind the scenes…
“I was a traitor to the Holy Temple, one who made a deal with Qizhi.”
“A deal?” Alexio immediately asked. “What kind of deal?”
He saw the smile in the saint's eyes grow wider, as if he had been waiting for this question. Lucius wiped a bright red tomato, then opened the gate and came over to Alexio.
He placed the tomato in Alexio's hand and whispered in his ear.
“Of course, a deal to protect you.”
Alexio felt a sudden warmth in his ear. He quickly turned his head, trying to put some distance between them, but before he could, the saint calmly walked into the house, apparently to prepare dinner.
Only the deep red, ripe tomato remained in Alexio's hand.
In truth, the lunatic never gave a direct answer. Alexio held the tomato, thinking this over. The saint's soft voice still seemed to linger in his ear, the warmth and itch spreading to the tip of his fangs. Alexio had to lick his fangs and then took a bite out of the tomato in his hand.
The rich, pale red juice instantly filled his mouth. Standing outside with his ears still warm, Alexio bit into the tomato piece by piece until it was gone.
That tomato made Alexio feel overly full at dinner.
He sprawled on the couch scrolling through his phone, still a bit annoyed. Since the lunatic wouldn't tell him what the deal was, Alexio decided to keep an eye on the lunatic's alt account. This day happened to be the release date of new merchandises Alexio had authorized, and the account named Sparrow Nestling in Thorns was filled with a frantic, enthusiastic sales pitch.
@Sparrow Nestling in Thorns: Sisters! For Xixi! Charge!!! [Cat sprinting.jpg]
Most replies were like “Charging with Madame!” or “Even for Madame, I won't give an inch!”
The lunatic sure was fluent at calling people ‘sisters’!
#You'll never know who's really calling you sister#
Alexio looked up to see the lunatic calmly washing dishes. He figured the posts must be scheduled with randomized seconds to make them look spontaneous. Pretty cunning!
Alexio checked the link, ready to grab the merch when it went live. He glanced again at the lunatic who was organizing the fridge.
Why wasn't the lunatic rushing? What if the limited-edition merch sold out?
Yet, when the time came, the lunatic was still quietly wiping the table.
Alexio was a bit puzzled. He was sure that Sparrow Nestling in Thorns was the lunatic's alt account, but how could the lunatic not try to grab the merch during a limited release? Did he normally not buy merch? Yet there was that cat sprinting sticker earlier…
Alexio was genuinely confused. He couldn't figure out the lunatic's thought process. Of course, if he had known about the service called ‘proxy purchase,’ he wouldn't be so confused now, nor would he experience what came next…
Still thinking it over, Alexio decided to give the lunatic a little nudge just in case he had forgotten the sale time. Wouldn't he be beating his chest in regret later?
He was too considerate!
@Alexio: Reposting. [link]
Alexio heard the lunatic's lightbrain chime with a special notification sound. After hesitating a moment, Alexio returned the favor with a super special notification alert. This special alert was supposed to be his little secret. He thought he could at least keep it hidden for a while. But the very next moment—
Ding dong dong!
The saint glanced at Alexio's repost, then looked up at him with a slight smile and immediately reposted it himself. At the same time, the special notification sound rang on Alexio's lightbrain. Alexio… smashed his head on the table!
So devious! Too devious!
“Hmm, special notification?”
“……”
Alexio refused to talk to him again!
So, whether they bought the merch or not, everyone following the two of them watched in shock as the original accounts reposted the merch link. After a brief silence, the onlookers exploded with excitement!
This merch was so meaningful! It was definitely going to skyrocket in value!
In less than a minute, the huge limited stock was completely sold out!
The company producing the merch never expected such a result. The backend technicians stared dumbfounded at the sales numbers. Although many previous releases had sold well, this time was entirely the result of the official accounts personally promoting it!
The company couldn't understand why those two would actively promote the merch. They had no idea Alexio was already regretting it deeply!
Having gained no advantage, he threw down his lightbrain and decided not to play with the lunatic anymore. Couldn't he just stick to gaming?!
After finishing the chores, the saint picked up his lightbrain and studied the merch link Alexio had suddenly reposted. He switched to his Sparrow Nestling in Thorns account and stared thoughtfully at the last scheduled post.
Alexio probably already knew, but he wasn't certain.
He switched back to his main account and stared at the post reposted by Alexio.
Testing the waters was actually, very, very easy.
The first step was to get some materials.
He took a small winter jujube from the fruit basket and walked over to Alexio. Alexio was immersed in his game but still kept a basic level of vigilace toward him.
“What do you need?”
“Hmm, give me your hand.”
Alexio paused his game and looked at him suspiciously.
What was he up to this time?
Despite his wariness, Alexio still extended his hand. The lunatic took it, did no tricks or anything strange, just casually glanced at it before placing the small winter jujube in his palm.
Alexio: “???”
Such a serious request, just to give him a jujube? What a lunatic!
While silently cursing, Alexio kept playing. After a while, the lunatic received a message and said he had to go back to the conservation center. He gave Alexio a heads-up, and Alexio, still focused on the screen, absentmindedly murmured a couple of responses. When he finally finished the level and looked up, the lunatic had been gone for almost three hours.
That long?
Alexio stood up and stretched. His lightbrain gave a faint vibration. This was his special notification to alert him about updates on the Epic Pair's personal site.
He clicked in and immediately saw a new work from Sparrow Nestling in Thorns, categorized in… the adult section!
Alexio felt like his head was about to burst into flames!
He paced around the room a few times, then crouched on top of the cat-climbing tree to think. He even poked at U's food bowl (U: ???), before finally calming himself down.
Taking a deep breath, he opened the page.
To his surprise, it wasn't an overly explicit image. On the contrary, there was barely any exposed skin. The Alexio in the drawing didn't even show his face. He was wrapped in the saint's cloak, buried in the saint's arms, ears flushed pink. Although their clothes were slightly disheveled, they were mostly intact, and so was the saint's. At first glance, in this adult section, where Alexio rarely dared to go, it looked completely innocent, but—
The hand.
His hand, exposed outside the saint's cloak.
There were bite marks along the side of the index finger, its fingertip glistening with moisture, and the pad was stained with specks of…
Alexio abruptly put down his lightbrain. He couldn't keep looking. He just couldn't.
But when he glanced up, he saw the jujube pit he had already eaten clean.
“……”
It was deliberate! The lunatic had done it on purpose! He had intentionally used Alexio's hand as a reference, found an excuse to leave and draw, deliberately made a drawing for that category, all to tell him—
【I know you already know my hidden identity.】
【But—】
【So what?】