Bai Fumei in the ’70s Chapter 145
Translated by Serena Love
LF: editor~
Chapter 145: Bonus Chapter - Past Life (4)
Grandma Li has experienced so many things in her life. Her husband and son died prematurely in her middle age, her granddaughter had an accident in her old age, and her grandson went to prison. She had already watched her days pass by when she lived with her granddaughter. Before, she used to hope that the He family would spread up the branch and leaves and she could embrace her great-grandchildren.
But after so many years, she no longer fantasizes about it.
She wiped a tear and said to her grandson, "Enough."
"Brother Bai, don't work too hard. Pay attention to your body. These days are already very good, with enough food and clothing, and our family reunited."
What else is she not content with?
"Grandma's biggest wish now is for Brother Bai to eat more and take a good rest. You are too thin." She said, placing her palm on her grandson's thin face.
He was dressed in a neat tunic, a talented person, but just too thin. Thin enough to make the cheekbones clearly visible, which made her, as the elderly, feel distressed.
His eldest sister said with a smile, gesturing, "Brother Bai, today, have an extra bowl of rice."
He Songbai was accustomed to his elder sister's soft and gentle voice. Looking at her gesturing again, he was no longer able to adapt. After he sold his ancestral treasures in the countryside, he took his eldest sister to the hospital to check. But because of the missed opportunity for treatment, the chance that her ears may be cured was very low.
In the past two years, He Songbai took his big sister to the northern part of the South China Sea. She went to a hospital in a big city. After two years of treatment, she could only recover a little bit of hearing.
In addition, he invested money in developing medical devices supported by his own electronic factory. The technology of hearing aids in this year is far less developed than that of future generations. In order to make the best hearing aids for his elder sister, He Songbai specially organized a research and development team.
He stared at his elder sister with a calm smile on her face. There was a warm affinity in her, making people look at her heart.
He rubbed her head and said with a smile, "Sister, I will send you to study at the university."
Although their lives' trajectory in this life had been different from his previous life, no matter how much pain they felt from the ups and downs, it was already the past.
The world was still so big and so exciting, people have to work hard to look forward. Everyone had to make themselves good and happy. How can a bad person qualified to be happy?
He Songye waved her hands in horror, "Brother, I can't."
He Songbai raised his lips and showed his teeth, "I said you could."
...
In the military compound...
Zhao Lanxiang took care of herself in the hospital for half a month before returning home. Originally, she was supposed to sit well in confinement after giving birth, but this time, her body worsened. She was happy to have confinement sitting in the hospital. She was not willing to go back to her cold and depressing home.
A bright red picture will always be in her mind, with a strong bloody smell. Her blood and her child's shed all over the place, and she was struggling desperately on the ground.
She didn't dare to think back, but when she dreamed at night, she would dream of a cute baby. He was so small, his body was so soft, he could not even speak, and he laughed like a pure angel.
For seven full months, he accompanied her obediently in her stomach. He was not tumultuous or coquettish. Except for the first two months, he hardly tossed his mother during pregnancy. Perhaps he knew that he was not a child born in anticipation. He was so good that Zhao Lanxiang felt guilty and distressed. She also loved talking to him the most.
Zhao Lanxiang began to make clothes for him from the third months of her pregnancy and knit small shoes with wool. He has small hats knitted from multicolored wool, soft socks, thin summer shirts, warm autumn clothes, and thick winter clothes. Although Zhao Lanxiang did not go to work, she can make money. She usually made custom-made clothes in her free time, designs clothes, and sells the drawings to factories in emerging areas.
Most of the money she saved was spent on this child—Infant formula, bathtub, toys, bed, all sort of fragmented and miscellaneous things almost filling their home.
There are his shadows everywhere, why he... suddenly disappeared.
Zhao Lanxiang didn't want to go back to that home at all. She would definitely not bear it when she went back to see those things. She buried him in the cold mud with her own hand, and he would never come back.
But she still has to bear the grief of losing him.
In the days of her recuperation, Feng Lian quit her teaching job to take care of her daughter. She looked very distressed at her daughter's thinning face. She never dared to show a little sadness in front of Zhao Lanxiang, but she cried a few times in private. The doctor had talked to her once, and the implication was that her daughter might have lost her fertility.
Feng Lian worked hard to keep this secret and dared not reveal it.
Day by day, Zhao Lanxiang finally finished her one-month rest, and she had to go home.
Jiang Jianjun came to pick her up on the day she returned home. He shaved his hair clean and short, and he was full of energy. Although he lost a lot of weight during this period, he was still handsome and attractive.
Jiang Jianjun silently packed Zhao Lanxiang's clothes and folded them one by one, as if using the patience he had never had before. He drove to the military compound. Their speed was so slow that there were almost no bumps on the road.
Zhao Lanxiang returned to their home and pushed the door open. The room was still clean and spotless, with clear windows.
It's just that the baby toys, small wooden bed, and strollers that were everywhere were gone, and they completely looked like a year ago. It seemed as if time had erased the child's trace so that she could deceive herself with peace of mind.
Jiang Jianjun put on an apron. "Wait a minute. I'll make lunch for you."
He seldom has the opportunity to cook because he was too busy with training is. Coupled with his good family background, his good standing, he did not have to do anything himself. He slowly and awkwardly made a tomato scrambled egg, steamed fish, and yam stewed chicken soup with red dates. The old chicken soup still needs to be stewed for a while. He stares at the flickering flame on the stove, took a deep breath, and took off his apron.
He looked for Zhao Lanxiang and saw her standing in front of the cabinet in the room.
He asked, "What's wrong? Go wash your hands. The meal will soon be ready--"
He hadn't finished his words yet, and his sight run into a triangle in her hand.
It was during the Spring Festival last year. In order to pray for the children, Zhao Lanxiang took him to the temple to put a stick of incense.
He collected all the things about the child one by one, but forgot this little thing hidden in the cabinet. In fact, the house was already covered with traces of children, and how could it be removed overnight?
The transparent tears filled the woman's eyes, and the moment she heard his voice, her tears flowed down.
Jiang Jianjun's heart burst into pain. He took the triangle charm and pressed his lips together. It took a long time until he said, "He will live well in another world."
"Let's... eat."
Zhao Lanxiang wiped her tear and snatched the triangle charm.
She said, "I won't eat. Eat it yourself."
"I want to go home."
"Go home..." Jiang Jianjun repeated it while murmured, feeling dull heartache, "Isn't this your home?"
Zhao Lanxiang said nothing. She turned around and walked towards the door.
Jiang Jianjun stepped forward to chase her and held her, "Where are you going?"
Zhao Lanxiang couldn't get rid of his clenched hand and lowered her head down to bit it hard.
"You can't go." He held her waist by the other hand.
"This is your home. Where are you going?"
Zhao Lanxiang stared at Jiang Jianjun's angry eyes and smiled coldly.
This is the man she has loved since she was seventeen years old. He is tall and mighty. He can wear a green military uniform meticulously and full of masculinity.
He has the most beautiful eyes, silent like the deep sea. When he laughed, it was like a star falling into the deep sea, beautiful and moving her heart.
He can turn the seventeen-year-old Zhao Lanxiang into a mess, almost became her whole world. But the thirty-five-year-old Zhao Lanxiang was tired. He let go of her hand and saw blood.
"Don't come near me. I feel dirty."
Jiang Jianjun raised his eyebrows. His face paled suddenly.
"I haven't done anything that I should be sorry to you."
"Me and Fang Jing--"
"Stop. I don't want to hear your bad things."
She thought: the feeling of freezing three feet underground is not mere cold. She experienced so many things, but he still lived in his own world, without any pain or itch. This is not fair...
Zhao Lanxiang looked at his stubborn and crazy eyes and broke free from him, "Well, I won't go."
Jiang Jianjun happily brought her to the dining table, put the chicken soup he boiled from the morning in front of Zhao Lanxiang and pushed it towards her.
"You drink and see if it suit your taste. I simmered in the stove before I went to the hospital."
Zhao Lanxiang didn't speak but silently skimmed off the scum oil floating on the soup a little bit. After a long time, she barely took a few sips.
She swallowed two sips of chicken soup and said, "This is the first time you have stewed soup for me."
"When I was pregnant with Jiejie, I was short of nutrition, and my feet were cramped. I mentioned it to you a few times, but you never thought about stewing soup for me. Afterward, my mother came to the compound every three weeks to send me soup to nourish my body. She complained that you didn't care about me. But I never dared to tell you."
"Because complaining is never useful to you."
Jiang Jianjun's lips smiled slightly.
Zhao Lanxiang said lightly, "Fortunately, these are over."
Jiang Jianjun suppressed the emotions in his heart and clipped her some fish, "Eat more fish, you like to eat this."
Zhao Lanxiang used chopsticks to get rid of the uncleaned scales on the fish and said with a faint face, "It's fishy. I won't eat it."
Jiang Jianjun frowned and tasted several pieces of fish. He peeled the fish skin and gave her some fish flesh. "You eat these. It is guaranteed not to be fishy."
Zhao Lanxiang turned over the scrambled eggs again and pulled out the eggshell from inside. She said lightly, "You don't know that I don't like to eat eggs. We have been married for 16 years..."
"We live under the same roof, you have never understood my taste, but the first day I came here, I knew that you would not eat leeks, coriander, carrots, pumpkin, fungus mushrooms..."
Jiang Jianjun's lips flapped for a moment, "Sorry."
"It doesn't matter. Anyway, I'm not an important person or an important thing. If you can't remember, you can't."
Jiang Jianjun's breath was slightly sluggish.
In the evening, Jiang Jianjun held a bunch of new silk quilts and turned on the air conditioner.
Zhao Lanxiang went to bed and threw the pillow to his head.
Jiang Jianjun silently moved the pillow to his position and said softly, "Sleep."
When he woke up in the middle of the night, he found that she had slept all the way to the other end. She curled up and sleeping in the corner, far away from him.
When he adjusted her sleeping posture, his thumb touched her pillow. It was wet and cold.
He thought it was a newly bought air conditioner leaking. But after turning on the light, he found that it was her tears. While sleeping, she shed tears.
She frowned even in her dream, and Jiang Jianjun watched her for a long time.
...
Jiang Jianjun submitted an application requesting a job change. It was a stable but fruitless job, but it allowed him to stay in the compound all year long.
After Jiang's parents knew his decision, they thought he was crazy.
However, the leader quickly approved his application and transferred his position.
He has more time to stay at home. He worked from nine to five, and occasionally he has to work overtime. He took on the housework, cooked three meals a day, and cleaned the house, and swept the floor.
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He did not do well before, but now he is trying hard to be a qualified husband. He exhausted all the patience of his life.
However, Zhao Lanxiang ate less and less. Her body is getting thinner and thinner. At the end of the year, she was almost 80 pounds thinner.
Jiang Jianjun had seen her vomiting in the toilet numerous times. It was a kind of vomiting that was because of food.
It wasn't a morning sickness because they had never done anything like husband and wife during these six months.
He looked at her for a long time and said, "I will ask mother to cook for you."
Zhao Lanxiang wiped her mouth and said lightly, "No."
"It's just vomiting. I won't die."
"Do you know how much the pregnant woman vomits? When I was pregnant with Jiejie, I vomited when I smelled meat. I vomited what I ate. I was either panic or hungry.
These words can't help but reminded Jiang Jianjun of those memories. She was very anxious in her early pregnancy and was cautious that he didn't like the child.
She was more diligent in housework, made him a lot of delicious meals, pleased him inside and out.
She has never shown any weakness.
At that time, he felt the warmth of a family, and the frequency of him returning home became higher.
Zhao Lanxiang said quietly, "You don't know, so I'll tell you. These are not secrets, but you haven't put me in your heart and are not interested in knowing. I once envied others."
"When other women are pregnant, they enjoyed the good care of their husbands. In addition to taking care of myself, I also have to serve you well. I feel uneasy because you don't like this child. I thought your heart was cold and hard, but after ten years, it should be warm. But now, after 16 years, it's still not warming up."
"Now I understand it. The twisted melon is not sweet. Because I was blind and entrusted my heart to a non-human, so I recognized it. I swallowed all the bitterness, no matter how hard for me to carry it. But--
She choked.
"My boy, he's dead..."
She calmly said "dead," and after a moment of discomfort, she vomited violently and spat out everything in her stomach.
After vomiting, she wept bitterly.
His heart was as heavy as lead, and his chest was very uncomfortable.
"Don't talk about it...If I can't take care of you. Shall I ask my mother to take care of you?"
Jiang Jianjun looked away, quickly wiped the water from his eyes with his hands, and looked up at the ceiling.
...
In the fall of 1993, He Songbai became busy after gaining a reputation in the Shenzhen financial market. But no matter how busy, at the end of each month, he will still take a few days to be completely undisturbed and return to the G city.
No matter where he was, no matter what happened.
He inquired that Zhao Lanxiang returned to the compound and lived with Jiang Jianjun after she was discharged from the hospital. He once looked at her in the army compound.
Looking at the scenery from the window upstairs, she can see the sky, the sunrise, and the sunset. She never left her home. She imprisoned herself in a small world.
She was more and more haggard and thin. She was weak and looked like she would be blown away by the wind.
He spent money to buy candy and toys and coaxed a group of children nearby. He knew these children when they grew up in his previous life, and he was clear of their temperament.
The lively children shouted downstairs to ask Zhao Lanxiang to come down to play, day after day. They were enthusiastic and persistent.
At first, Zhao Lanxiang was unmoved and silently watched them play downstairs for a month.
Looking at them, she felt like seeing her Jiejie as a naughty boy who grew up. There was a lot of joy, with an endless passion.
One day the children were gone, and the noise of their play disappeared, so Zhao Lanxiang hurried downstairs to find them.
A little fat man groaned around her calf, and a little girl begged her carefully to play house and acted as her mother.
Zhao Lanxiang could not refuse these eager eyes and played with them all day.
"Auntie, why are you so thin?"
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"Yeah, as thin as my sick grandpa."
Zhao Lanxiang touched the child's face and said, "Because Auntie does not eat properly and be a picky eater, she is thin and ugly. You cannot learn from me."
"Eat more to grow meat."
A man who stayed in the corner heard her words and closed his eyes for a moment.
A few days later, the little girl pulled out a handkerchief from her pocket, "Auntie, you eat."
Black plum. It looks ugly, but the taste is very good. It was sweet and mellow in her mouth, and it quenches her thirst.
At this time, Zhao Lanxiang did not know that it was perilla plum.
Zhao Lanxiang was encouraged by the little girl's enthusiasm and ate a few. The little girl said, "Okay, now the magic is blinking and blinking. When Auntie goes back, you can eat more meals!"
Zhao Lanxiang touched her head.
After the sun set, the little fat man ran to the corner to ask an uncle.
"Can you take us to the football game tomorrow?"
"We have been playing with that aunt for a long time. It's great, isn't it?"
He Songbai took out some imported chocolates and gave two pieces to each of them. He smiled slightly, and his clear face was warm and calm, and it was refreshing.
"Okay, play with you right away."
"Remember that this is a secret between us, don't tell anyone about it."
Several children ate candy and said in unison, "I know!"
One adult and a few children formed an indestructible alliance.
...
Zhao Lanxiang gradually became willing to move around, her appetite slightly improved.
She began to like to eat plums, like the small wildflowers the children picked for her from the grass, and more like the lively and lovely children. The meat on her face was gradually grown.
Jiang Jianjun was happy with this improvement and secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
He bought some gifts for the parents of these children and thanked them.
The little girl blinked and asked her parents, "Why does Uncle Jiang give you gifts?"
The child's mother said, "Because you play with that aunt."
The little girl said earnestly, "We can't ask for it. Obviously, we were asked to play with Aunt."
"That uncle was so stupid. Why didn't he play with his aunt himself? I know he must be too stupid."
Jiang Jianjun had left, but the child's mother didn't know if he heard the words. She covered her little girl's mouth in horror.
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